In Deep Water
by Niphrehdil
Summary: It occured to Arthur - Merlin hadn't been lying. He really couldn't hold his breath as long as Arthur could.
1. Chapter 1

Hey!

It's been terribly long. I've been suffering from a huge writer's block for the first time in my life and it's been awful. I'm sorry for the people that are reading my other fic Jetsam, but I haven't been able to write anything down for a long time or simply didn't have the time. It's been really frustrating and sad because I really enjoy writing and I love all the reviews and support more than I can ever express.

But then there was this. This just came up to my mind all of a sudden. I just opened a new document and started writing. I wanted to publish this and ask what you all think about it. I'm not sure whether to continue this, so please review if you want another chapter.

_Summary:_ It occured to Arthur - Merlin hadn't been lying. He really couldn't hold his breath as long as Arthur could.

Thank you! Please tell me what you think.

Story: In Deep Water (Chapter 1)  
by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

Merlin looked down. The cliff was quite high - not too high, because they would survive the jump from here but it _would_ hurt. He swallowed and flickered his eyes to Arthur, unable to hide his hesitation and slight fear.

-I don't think this is a good idea." he said.

Arthur glanced to the trees, clearly anxious. They could hear Morgana's men from here, running and shouting, branches snapping in two and someone barking orders. There was a flash of worry for the other knights, but Arthur hid it - there wasn't simply any time for that. The rest of their patrol group - including Gwaine, Leon and Percival - had gotten separated from them in the attack, and that might be the only reason they were still alive. Four knights and Merlin against sixty of Morgana's men wasn't a fair fight, and it would have been suicidal not to escape.

But Arthur pushed those things from his mind quickly. They were running out of time. And fast. He turned his frantic eyes to the river below them - the flood was fortunately quite slow on the sides, so it shouldn't suck them into the main current. There were rocks sticking out here and there - Arthur only prayed they wouldn't hit them on the way down.

He turned his eyes on Merlin. Merlin was watching the woods, fingers twitching. He was thinking through the situation, tensed, even slightly scared. He was restless and nervous - even if he used this moment to reveal his magic and use it, he might not be able to hold back around thirty men that were chasing them. Not here, when they were literally on the edge of a cliff and they were surrounded from all directions. The voices were getting closer all the time.

-Merlin." Arthur called in a demanding voice. Merlin turned his eyes on him, biting his lip.

-You can swim, right?" Arthur asked in a hurried tone, studying Merlin's face. Merlin hesitated a moment, then nodded a little and looked away. Arthur instantly knew there was something Merlin wasn't telling him.

-Merlin?" he said with more loudly. -What is it? If you can't swim, we can't..."

-It's not that." Merlin cut in. He shook his head, glancing at the trees and then back to the river below then. The water looked cold, dark and uninviting.

-Well what is it then?! I think you understand the seriousness of the situation without any further explaining." Arthur said with a tensed voice, his every muscle stiff, already itching to leave the immediate danger. Their attackers had had archers. -So if you're just afraid to..."

-No. It's not that!" Merlin snapped. He took a deep breath and shook his head. -I can swim, yes, but the current is strong. Maybe you can get to the shore but I might not."

Arthur breathed out. -I can pull you away from the current if it comes to it. Besides, we are not going to swim to the other side. That's what they will be all expecting - I heard they already sent other men to the other shore to wait for us. So we are going to jump and then hide in the water until they leave."

Merlin turned to look at him, incredulous, mouth open. -_What?_ Hide? We can't hide from them! Arthur, that's _a river_. The only way we can hide is if..." then Merlin's eyes widened and he shook his head. He looked at Arthur like the king had gone insane. Arthur gave him a meaningful look.

Then he glanced at the trees again - the sounds and voices were very close now, they could be here any minute now. Arthur took a deep breath, trying to calm his rapid heartbeat and the peak of adrenaline rushing through his veins. Merlin glanced nervously at the river, still looking incredulous. The king grabbed Merlin's arm and squeezed it to get his full attention. Merlin's eyes flickered back to him.

-So, when I say so, you will take a deep breath and dive." Arthur said, pronouncing every word clearly. -And you won't get up until I let you or they will kill us in seconds. Do you understand me, Merlin? You have to do exactly as I say."

Merlin just shook his head. -This is insane, Arthur. We have a much better chance if we try to swim to other side. " he said with a hurried tone.

Arthur was starting to lose patience. He was getting more and more restless because Morgana's men were getting closer all the time. He could hear them quite clearly even from here.

-It's too risky." Arthur said. -It will take too much time to cross it - the main current is strong and for a weakling like you it's definitely too strong. The archers will shoot us down before we can reach the other side. It's better if we trick them to think we ran towards east or have already crossed the river."

In any other situation, Merlin would have protested to be called 'a weakling' but their situation was far too serious for that. And their time was running out. He just stared at the king. He hesitated for a moment.

-I can't hold my breath for very long." Merlin stuttered out.

-What?" Arthur asked, his voice pitching. The wave of frustration washed over him. Arthur took a deep breath and shifted his weight restlessly. -Please tell me you just made that up or..."

-No, I didn't." Merlin said. -When we were eight years old, me and Will went swimming and he taught me to dive. Then we made a competition about who could hold it the longest and I lost every time. And then Will teased me about it so one time I wanted to win and...I just forced myself to stay underwater."  
Merlin didn't mention he had used magic to do so. It had been one of the worst ideas he had ever had to use magic for. He swallowed. -And I almost drowned."

Arthur blinked, staring at him for a moment in surprise. He quickly wondered how stupid and stubborn Merlin had been even as a child and how easily Merlin could have died long before they even met. The king hesitated a moment, thinking quickly. Their attackers could be here any second now.

-Arthur, I'm serious." Merlin said quietly. He might have been able to block the arrows with some kind of spell if they tried to cross the river - but using magic to stay underwater was something he had sworn to his mother to never do again. It had almost cost him his life once.

Arthur looked at him, clearly torn between two options.

Merlin took a breath, flashing a weak smile. -You can leave me behind. I can run to another direction and distract them..."

-No. Not a chance." Arthur said immediately. Then suddenly the first few men could be seen between the trees, running towards them, and they both knew they had to make the decision very fast.  
There were three long seconds when they just looked at each other, bodies tense, eyes locked, the river running deep below them. Then Arthur just shook his head.

-No. We have a much better chance to survive this by doing it my way." he said and pulled his sword belt quickly off with rushed movements and threw it to the side. His sword and the hilt made a small clanging noise while hitting the ground. They would only cause problems if he jumped with it.

-Arthur..." Merlin tried once more.

The king shook his head. - No, Merlin. Do exactly as I said and we will get through this. Alright, ready?"

Merlin just stared at him with slightly widened eyes, wondering if this was the moment he should just turn back and try to fight their attackers with magic. But in the back of his mind, he knew that he couldn't hold them all back. It would be a suicide. But jumping into the water and going along Arthur's plan seemed drastic thing to do. There were too many risks - hitting the rocks, getting seen, getting sucked to the main current or simply running out of air. But for a brief moment, Merlin realized he wasn't even afraid for his own life - but risking Arthur's by doing this.

Arthur turned towards the river. -On the count of three, we jump down. Whatever happens, do not panic, Merlin. And don't let go of me, because it will be dark in the water and you can get sucked into the current. So stay close to me. And take a deep breath."

-Arthur." Merlin said. There wasn't a lot of things he was afraid of, but he could still remember how horrible the feeling of drowning had been. He knew Arthur could hold his breath for a long time - he had even bragged about it in some feasts. But for Merlin that was a whole another thing - after he had almost drowned, his mother hadn't let him dive at all. He was on a thin ice with this.

The king's eyes locked with his. Arthur tried to look calm but Merlin could see the slight hesitation and fear through his facade.

-I really can't hold my breath for very long." Merlin said, feeling irritated and anxious towards himself that he couldn't.

-Yes you can. You have to." Arthur said in a tensed voice. Their attackers were already running fast towards them, shouting orders to the others, pulling their swords out.

-Alright, one." Arthur said, starting to count. Merlin felt his magic to shift restlessly - he had a bad feeling about this and his magic hardly ever got it wrong either. Merlin's heart took pace and the adrenaline bumped through his veins loudly. Arthur took a grip so tight from Merlin's left arm that it hurt. -Two. Take a deep breath." he said.

Merlin squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, hoping desperately that they would survive this. Then he opened his eyes again and he caught a glimpse of Arthur leaning forward.

-Three."

And then Merlin drew a deep, long breath and before he had time to register it, he was already falling. The water got closer in a fraction of seconds, and Merlin could see a flash of the trees before he hit the water.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello again!

So after the massive amount of follows and the excited feedback I got from the first chapter, I decided to continue this story. I'm so glad that you guys like it!

Also, I hope my updating pace isn't too quick. I can slow down, just tell me. :)

So, a lot suspense is ahead. Please be so kind and review!

Story: In Deep Water (Chapter 2)  
by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

The air was almost knocked out of Merlin's lungs when he hit the water. His world turned in a split second to a dark and wet world. The drop had been quite long and the collision with the water was rather powerful and painful, the water smacked him with all its force. The sound of it almost made Merlin's ears lock. Gravity had no mercy on him - his fall was hard and he immediately sank several metres under the surface. Water rushed wildly around him. Then suddenly, a white, blinding pain hit Merlin. It flared up in his right wrist and then arm, suddenly ripping his skin and making him gasp, only to be reminded there wasn't any air to breathe in. The pain was so intense that Merlin squeezed his eyes shut and winced in pain, still sinking lower but his speed slowing down every second.

Suddenly his mouth was filled with something that tasted familiar and disgusting and he tried to spit it out as a reflex and he only managed to blew out some bubbles. Then he remembered that he shouldn't lose any more air so he closed his mouth. Merlin was still writhing in pain and his right arm was like on fire, the moving water just making it worse.

In his messy head, Merlin realized he had hit a rock. And that he was bleeding, the blood spreading to the water like ribbons and small puddles around him. He realized that he might just have broken his arm or fractured it, and it was quite obvious that the rock had ripped the skin open.

Merlin was still sinking, although very slowly now, down, when the realization hit him - Arthur wasn't there. Slight panic hit him and he opened his eyes and tried to see in the blurry, dark water, but couldn't see much anything. Arthur had told him to hold on, to never lose a sight of him. But Merlin didn't know when or how Arthur had let go of his left arm. The collision had been hard, and Merlin had no idea how they had landed to the water. The fall wouldn't have killed either of them, but hitting the rocks - that was a whole another thing. What if Arthur had also hit a rock and maybe hit his head? The thought was so horrifying that Merlin's magic instantly flared up inside him, reacting to his fear.

His eyes immediately sharpened - he could feel his magic forcing it to happen, and he looked around. He couldn't see anything besides bubbles and his own eerily floating blood. There were plants and rocks and the current and some faint sunlight, but no Arthur. Merlin realized he hadn't started swimming and he was still sinking, floating several metres under the water. The pain in his arm was burning and suddenly Merlin realized he might not be able to swim with it at all. Also, his air was starting to run out - already now, when they had just jumped.

Merlin tried to move his right arm, and the pain that hit him would have made him scream out if he had been on solid ground. The pain was blinding. But he couldn't focus on that now, and he most certainly shouldn't faint. Arthur would call him a girl if they every survived this. And also - if he fainted, he would soon be sucked by the main current and be as good as dead.  
His mind tried to be logical. He knew he should get swim closer to the edge of the cliff - the current was almost non-existent there and the attackers wouldn't have a clear view to it.

Merlin realized some smaller current was already making him float towards the center of the river. He needed to move and do it fast. Biting his lip hard, Merlin forced some of his magic to flow to his arm. He was miserable with healing spells but at least he managed to dull the pain to a bearable amount.

Then, without a warning, Merlin felt someone to grab his right arm. He jerked in surprise and then suddenly Arthur's blurry figure appeared next to him. Huge relief filled him. Merlin couldn't see Arthur properly, but it was clear that the blood surrounding him in the water hadn't gone unnoticed from the king. Arthur grabbed his healthy arm in the water, squeezing it, like trying to ask whether he was alright.

Merlin couldn't squeeze him back with his injured arm so he just tried to nod quickly. Arthur came closer, and Merlin could mostly see him now. Their eyes were as open as they could be in the dim water, but the worried look on Arthur's eyes wasn't hard to see. Merlin just nodded again.

Arthur pulled his arm up and pointed to a direction that Merlin concluded must be the underwater part of the cliff they had been standing on. Merlin felt the rising urge to breathe more air in, but tried to ignore it. He shouldn't be thinking about that now, not for a long time.

Merlin tried to move his right arm, and this time it worked. It caused him a lot of pain but he managed to half-swim and be half-dragged by Arthur towards the right direction. It seemed like an eternity and Merlin's lungs were already screaming for air, but Arthur kept going. The longer they went on, the weaker Merlin's attempts to swim grew. Arthur was practically dragging him behind him, fighting against the counter-current.

After what felt like hours, but was most likely closer to seconds, Merlin saw the large rock coming into his view in the water. They were now next to the cliff and away from the stronger currents. Hopefully their attackers wouldn't realize their plan.

Merlin's lungs were burning. Every bit of him was screaming for air now, and every second was a fight against his own growing need to breathe. Arthur brushed the large rock wall with a hasty hand, clearly looking for something. Then he took a grip under a some kind of bulge in the wall and grabbed Merlin's healthy arm with the other. Merlin realized that Arthur hadn't changed the plan - he was keeping them both still in the water, avoiding to cause movement and drawing any attention. It would also stop them for floating towards the surface - the quickly vanishing air was pulling them up all the time.

And that was all Merlin hoped he could do. He looked up, and somewhere there was sunlight shining through the water.

Small bubbles danced all around them, but otherwise it was quiet. Merlin's lungs felt empty and hot and he _needed _air. He tried to think about anything else, just anything, but he couldn't. The sensation was strangling and strong, and all he wanted to do was to get up and _breathe_. Merlin moved his left arm to get Arthur's attention. He couldn't see properly but he saw that Arthur turned to look at him. Then Merlin just shook his head in the water.

Arthur got the message instantly. From what Merlin could see, his expression changed into something between worry, frustration and seriousness. The king just shook his head.

Merlin stared at him, lungs burning, feeling disoriented. His ears were ringing and his arm was still hurting, but all he could think about was breathing. They had to visit the surface at least once. They_ had _to. Merlin knew he couldn't go on for a long time now.

The sudden flashes in their right turned their attention - arrows were now hitting the water and slowing down when they sank under the surface. Clearly Morgana's men wanted to make sure they were dead. Arthur tried to give Merlin a meaningful look - the attackers were still up there, searching for them, waiting them to appear to the surface to kill them. Merlin looked up, blinking in growing despair.

The arrows made an whishing sound when they hit the water. They slowed down and floated towards the bottom or got carried away by the currents. And there were a lot of them.

Merlin knew it could be a suicide to get up now. But he also knew that his head was getting blurry, his lungs were burning and he _needed_ air. Panic was slowly crawling towards him - if he didn't get up now, he would soon faint. Merlin knew he might be shot with an arrow if he got up, but he knew he couldn't hold his breath anymore.

He just couldn't.

He kicked a bit and tried to swim towards the surface, but Arthur pulled him back. Merlin tried to pull his arm away, but Arthur was stronger. He pulled Merlin backwards, and their eyes met. Merlin knew his panic had to be showing from his eyes, and Arthur seemed guilty and torn, but he didn't let go. He just looked up where the raining arrows hit the surface, mostly to the spot they had previously jumped into, but a lot of them were falling right above their heads. Then the king turned to look back to Merlin. Of course Merlin knew what Arthur meant - they couldn't go up now. But his whole body was screaming for air and Merlin woudn't be able to be underwater any more second.

Merlin looked at Arthur with pleading eyes, shaking his head in the water and trying to his arm away. Arthur still didn't let go, just squeezed his arm and shook his head, giving him a meaningful look. More arrows broke the surface somewhere above them.

Merlin felt his eyesight suddenly blurring. He blinked a few times, and tried to focus on the situation, but there wasn't anymore air left. He tried once more weakly to pull away, but Arthur's grip stayed firm.

Merlin knew Arthur was just trying to protect him for the probable death waiting in the surface, but right now he couldn't care less. He would faint soon if he didn't get air. He would drown. He _needed_ to get up. He_ needed_ air.

One more time, he tried to pull away but Arthur didn't even need to use any strength to keep him still. Merlin hoped that for once, Arthur would have taken his warning seriously enough. He couldn't hold his breath for long. This plan was insane. Merlin's eyes kept ringing loudly. He felt dizzy.

He couldn't die like this. He couldn't die and leave Arthur alone. It couldn't all end here.

In growing panic and weakening state, Merlin knew he had only one thing he could try. Distantly regretting that he had to break his promise, Merlin squeezed his eyes shut and made a spell in his head. His magic responded instantly. It washed over him in seconds.

And suddenly, just like that, the burning sensation dulled. Merlin let go of the last breath he was still holding, unable to feel any need to breathe anymore. His memory replayed his childhood memory of that day all those years ago in Ealdor - Will's laugh, his mocking tone and how he had teased Merlin for not being able to dive properly. Merlin had felt so triumphant that he had magic and he could beat Will in that stupid game with it. He remembered diving - and then there was a blank spot in his memory, because the next thing he remembered was his mother sobbing in panic and people shouting and Will begging him to wake up.

He hadn't thought about it in years. Merlin knew at the back of his mind that using magic like this was dangerous. The need of air was blocked and he wouldn't be able to feel his body shutting down. He told himself that it was just for a moment, just to make sure the archers weren't up there anymore. Just as long as Arthur wanted them to stay underwater. Just a few more moments. That's what Merlin kept telling himself.

Arthur looked up and the air was slowly starting to run out from him, too. He shifted nervously, and cursed in his mind when he saw several arrows still hitting the water. Then he shifted eyes on Merlin again.

Merlin was unnaturally still. He was floating in the water, eyes open, but not looking as panicked as he had just been. The contrast between that and his earlier struggle to get up was unnerving for Arthur. He had been worried about Merlin before, but now the feeling just increased.

Merlin kept his eyes on Arthur. He felt how he slowly was losing strength from his body. His eyesight was fading and even his magic couldn't hold the sensation back. He was drowning. He had ran out of air long time ago, his magic was the only thing keeping him alive. He couldn't feel the pain in his arm anymore.

_Arthur..._

His eyelids slid closed. Merlin suddenly felt tired and strengthless, his magic slowly losing grip of him. He knew he wouldn't be able to swim to the surface anymore. When the last of his magic faded away from numbing the pain, his panic kicked in again with full force. He was running out of time and fast. His eyesight was blurring, his head disoriented and dizzy and his body growing heavier. He was dying.

Merlin tried to open his eyes but he was losing control of his own body. In a weak attempt, he tried to lift his healthy arm towards Arthur.

Arthur's attention snapped back to Merlin. The king turned his head just in time to see Merlin's hand reaching to him and then stopping halfway, floating in the water. Merlin's eyes were sliding closed, his body sinking slower. Then his arm fell slowly.

It occured to Arthur that Merlin hadn't been lying or exaggerating. He really couldn't hold his breath as long as Arthur could. The seriousness of the situation suddenly dawned on him - Merlin hadn't been just panicking. He really had ran out of air quickly, and he was losing conciousness now - starting to sink slowly - which also highlighted the fact that Merlin had really ran out of air because none of it was pulling him up anymore. Arthur stared in horror as Merlin's head fell and he started slowly sinking.

A painful flash of guilt stung Arthur. This was his fault. He shouldn't have listened to Merlin, he always should. The king cursed his own stupidity and swore he would never forgive himself for this. He couldn't afford making mistakes, not like this. He _couldn't_ lose Merlin. For a moment, he was completely frozen in panic. For a moment, he felt self-loathing so deep that it almost paralyzed him. But then he forced himself to snap out of it - there was no time. He he needed to get Merlin above the surface as fast as possible - Arthur knew that the clock was ticking fast. A cold, icy fist took a hold around the king's heart and Arthur bit his lip hard. Then after a few seconds of numb fear and Merlin falling towards the bottom - which couldn't be even seen from here because the river was so deep - Arthur snapped back into action.

He grabbed Merlin and pulled him closer. Merlin's body just floated lifelessly along in the water which made Arthur feel slightly sick. The king took a better grip on Merlin and shook him a little. He didn't get any response. An umcomfortable knot started to tie itself on Arthur's stomach and a bad feeling took hold. He suddenly felt like drowning, too, and it had nothing to do with the lack of air. They needed to get up and they needed to do it _now_. There were a few arrows still breaking the surface here and there, but it was a risk he had to take. It was better than the alternative.

Arthur decided he was not going lose Merlin - not like this. Even if Arthur knew he would be able to hold his own breath for some time more. Arthur felt the panic lurking at the back of his mind. Their situation had turned into a very serious and a very dangerous one in a very short time. But he didn't hesitate - if they both died by getting above the surface, then so be it.

Holding Merlin with one arm, he started to swim towards the surface, the deadly arrows hurtling everyone around them.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey!

I'm so happy that so many people have started following this story! I'm still struggling with my overwhelming self-criticism, and it almost managed to stop me again from writing this chapter. So, if you like this story and want me to keep writing it, please tell me. It really helps.

Also, since no one said that I'm updating too fast, I'll just keep going like this. :)

Oh, and one more thing. Please don't kill me because of this chapter.

Story: In Deep Water (Chapter 3)  
by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

Arthur kicked with his legs and started to swim towards the surface, pulling Merlin with him. His chainmail was heavy and the currents were trying to pull them both towards the center of the river. Arthur had trouble swimming up with all the heavy clothes and chainmail - he thanked his luck that he hadn't worn any cape. Merlin of course, didn't weigh much anything, and in the water he was even more lighter. Arthur had had to carry him on a few occasions and even on solid ground Merlin was too light for Arthur's liking. But he quickly pushed those thoughts out of his mind and concentrated on getting up.

It took much of his strength to fight back to the counter-current, especially when he could use only one arm properly. Also the fear and worry for Merlin was growing worse every minute. He tried not to think about the fact that Merlin just passed out from the lack of air. He felt a flash of rage towards Morgana and her men - she had probably made very clear that they shouldn't get out of this alive. Arthur thought bitterly that if they died, then at least she wouldn't get her hands on them - the river would wash them away. He fought the blind anger that was nagging him - he would kill all of those men out there. Every single one of them.

Although, in his increasingly panicked state, Arthur realized that there was no time for that. All that mattered was Merlin. Arthur needed to get up. He didn't even dare to think about the fact that even if he _did_ get them both up, he had no idea what to do then. And Merlin was running out of time.

Arthur's ears were slightly ringing now - the lack of air was catching up to him, too. But the king ignored it angrily - he suddenly hated himself for bragging his skill to hold his breath. All the times he had told about it in the feasts seemed so stupid and shallow and like that had been in a completely another life altogether. He should have listened to Merlin's warning. This was all his fault. He swore to himself that he would never let anything like this happen again. Ever.

He didn't dare to enter the idea that even if he got Merlin up, he had no idea where they could go. He didn't dare to think about the precious time he was wasting and what would happen if he wasn't fast enough. He wouldn't lose Merlin. He couldn't. Just _couldn't_.

In crippling despair, Arthur forced himself to focus. The arrows kept raining down everywhere around them. Some of them passed them just by inches, and a few times Arthur had pure luck ducking out of their way in the last minute. The closer they got to the surface, the faster the arrows flew and Arthur had less time to see them. Angry bubbles danced around him, and the pressure of the water felt suffocating

Then one arrow broke the surface right above them. As a reflex, Arthur lifted his arm quickly to cover his head. For a one, long second he waited, knowing that if the arrow hit his skull, he would be instantly dead. However, the arrow hit the armpiece of his armour with a clank. Fortunately it didn't tear through the metal, just fell sideways and started to sink towards the bottom. Arthur didn't have time to feel relieved. He started to swim again.

The process was much slower than Arthur would have liked. He tried to keep as close he could to the cliff, because it would block the view and fireline from most of Morgana's men. The arrows swirled everywhere around them, their speed deadly. Arthur cursed them to the deepest pit because they were slowing him down. When he finally managed to struggle close to the surface, he was painfully aware of all the long seconds already spent underwater.

Suddenly another arrow swirled to the water. Arthur had barely time to register it and only managed to squirm in place a little when pain flared up in his thigh, next to his knee. The last of his air escaped from his lips, the pain making him cringe. He glanced down and saw that one of the arrows had indeed sunk into his leg, and some blood was spreading to the water already. Arthur looked at the arrow angrily. Then, biting his lip, he reached down, took a grip from it and with a quick movement snapped it in two. He dropped the other part and left the remaining one in its place - he could worry about it later.

Arthur tried not to think about the pain. He was so close to the surface now. But as much as he wanted to kick himself above the surface as fast as he could and draw air in loudly and quickly, he knew he could expose them both if he did. So, while fighting back the loss of air in his lungs, Arthur let himself float up slowly until his head broke finally the surface. He sucked in a greedy, long breath while pulling Merlin up with hurry. Merlin didn't any show any response and he was completely limp in Arthur's arms.

Even if Arthur could now breathe again, he felt like there was a lump in his throat strangling him. The knot in his stomach tightened and worry made him almost disoriented - they needed to get out of the water. He looked up, seeing the arrows flying in the air. They were decreasing, though - clearly Morgana's men thought that they had been underwater long enough to drown. The thought made Arthur even angrier. He looked around and realized how hopeless the situation was. The cliff right next to them was high and it didn't have much anything to cling onto. The closest shore was on the same side with the cliff and Morgana's men could easily spot them there, and if they tried to get there they'd have to swim from right under their noses.

Arthur knew they wouldn't have a chance to swim to other side of the river. The current was too strong, especially when he would have to hold Merlin up all the time - and that was only if the archers wouldn't finish them off before that. Also, his leg was protesting him painfully - the king knew it could cause real problems.

He turned to look on Merlin. His face was pale, far too pale and his eyes were closed. It seemed ridiculous. Just a minute ago he had been talking to Arthur, and just moments ago he had looked Arthur in the eyes. Now that Arthur finally had air to breathe in, he felt more like suffocating. Merlin was too still.

A wave of panic hit him. He shook Merlin carefully, but he didn't respond. Arthur's breathing got more and more rapid, and he realized he had to calm down. His chaotic head was just filled with the strong urge to get out of the water. Arthur lifted his other hand quickly to Merlin's face. For a few seconds, he waited. But his grim conclusion had been right - Merlin had stopped breathing.

His stomach dropped. Arthur had to swallow his frustrated and worried curse. He needed to get Merlin out of the water immediately. Biting his lip hard, Arthur pressed his fingers on Merlin's neck. He had to kick quite hard while keeping them both above the surface without using his arms, but he was careful not to make a sound. His leg protested with vengeance, but he barely registered it.

For a moment that felt like an eternity, Arthur felt a weak pulse under his partly numb fingertips. Closing his eyes in silent relief, he thanked his luck. Merlin's lungs were probably full of water- that was something he could try to fix, but just as long as his heart would keep beating. Considering that Merlin wasn't breathing at all, that wouldn't be long so they were in a hurry.  
Also, Merlin's arm was somehow injured - Arthur had concluded that Merlin had hit a rock on the way down, but it was much less serious and something to think about later on.

Arthur looked up and realized that from this spot, Morgana's men couldn't see them. If they only had both managed to dive without any trouble, they could have hid here, right next to the cliff. He eyed the opposite shore - there didn't seem to be anyone in there.

There were still few lonely arrows hitting the water, and someone barked an order not to waste anymore of them. Arthur could hear that there were at least twenty men above them in the cliff - most of Morgana's ambush group had started following him and Merlin, the rest had gone after the knights.

He had to make the decision fast. The most logical decicion would have been to stay put until the men left, but Arthur couldn't afford losing any more time. Arthur glanced down at unmoving Merlin, then the opposite shore. They wouldn't make it there. And he couldn't wait for the men to leave either, because Merlin wouldn't last that long.

Arthur prayed that the stubborn idiot managed to hold on for a little more time. Then the king glanced at the shore under the cliff to their left - he could get there with the current and without making any noise. However, if their attackers were still looking down at the river, they would notice them the second they moved. Arthur knew they could just shoot them both down if that happened, but he couldn't bring himself to even consider the risks. He was determined not to lose Merlin.

So, taking a deep breath and praying to every force he could name, Arthur slid to the faint side current and hoped the men above wouldn't spot them in time. They weren't shooting any more arrows and Arthur concluded most of them must have been leaving because all he could hear was some shouts and mumbling somewhere above them.

Arthur took a better grip of Merlin. His servant's head lolled against Arthur's neck. Arthur would have joked or teased Merlin about it in any other situation, but right now all he could think about was how well it was blocking Merlin from the straight fireline. At least Arthur could shield him a little if the men would spot them and started to shoot at them. His concern for Merlin was still barely under control - he needed to concentrate on getting to the shore, nothing else.

Painfully slowly, the current took them away from the cliff and started pushing them towards the shore. Arthur knew the cliff wasn't offering any protection anymore and they were very much visible to anyone that bothered to look down from it now. If just one of those men would throw a glance at them, they would be as good as dead.

Arthur didn't dare to look up. He could feel his skin slightly burning for the fear of getting noticed. _Don't look down, don't look down, _he repeated in his head.

The current was getting him finally closer to the shore. Arthur glanced at it - he couldn't see anybody standing there but he knew that the distance between the cliff and the shore couldn't be long. The men could get down from the cliff and run to the shore in a minute or two. Arthur was getting further and further away from the cliff now. He fought the urge to start swimming because he might cause noise. He needed to go a little further, so the trees would block the immediate view from the cliff to the small shore he was trying to get to.

Arthur really started to fear for Merlin's life. The seconds felt like hours. _Hold on, Merlin. Hold on, _he repeated in his head. After a few more seconds, he decided to risk it and swim to the shore. Tightening his grip on Merlin, Arthur started swimming out of the current and towards the small shoreline. His every five senses were on high alert, watching out for any second that they had been seen.

He was getting tired and cold, and all the weight was getting heavy already. So while he struggled against the current pulling him forward, Arthur reminded himself that he would hate himself forever if he didn't manage to get away from the water now. So he forced himself forward, biting his lip, breathing fast, holding back of his own growing panic and fear.

Then he finally managed to break through the current's grip. He quickly swam to the shore. His leg was like on fire but he ignored it. He threw one quick glance towards the cliff through the trees - they gave some shelter but did not cover them entirely. Fortunately, he couldn't hear any voices or shouts so he dared to hope that they hadn't been seen. Then he forgot all about them. Arthur was extremely happy when his feet finally reached to the bottom of the river shore, but he didn't spare a thought to it. Now that the immediate danger was over, he was falling to full-blown panic. Merlin had been unmoving too long. He was too pale. He hadn't been breathing in a long time. Arthur could almost hear the clock ticking in his head, every second stinging a sharp, poisonous needle to his heart. He felt sick.

Not caring one bit about his own injured leg, Arthur put his arms around Merlin, pulled him up from the river and finally lifted him onto the sand, crashing to his knees, their bodies still partly in the water.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello!

I just realized that I wrote the last two chapters completely without any dialogue. (Well naturally they had hard time talking in the water and Merlin being out, but anyway.) I hope you all liked it and didn't want to strangle me for the cliffhanger. :D I know I promised some angst and here you go.

So, here's chapter four. I'm always very happy to receive reviews! :)

Also, ahem. If it makes any of you feel better, I'm kind of sorry for this chapter.

Or then not. I haven't decided yet. :D Please let me know what you think!

Story: In Deep Water (Chapter 4)  
by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

Time seemed to slow down.

Arthur felt like his world turned foggy - his senses dulled and his thoughts quieted. All of the sounds died down, like his hearing had been damaged somehow. In the same time his own, rapidly increasing breathing sounded loud and almost violent inside his own head. Arthur's hands started shaking uncontrollably. The water was dripping from his hair and clothes and the whole moment felt unreal. It all happened in a few seconds - precious, important seconds.

He had made it out of the water. He had gotten them both out. But he was frozen now.

Arthur knew he had to act. And fast. But he felt completely lost. Gaius had taught him all of the basic things about medical treatment - how to dress wounds, how to diagnose some usual diseases and what head wounds could cause and so on. He hadn't really been interested in all of it - Uther had just decided that it was crucial for him to know something about it. Now Arthur was desperately trying to search his mind for anything useful. _Think. _

Merlin was completely still. His head had fallen to the side. He was pale, sickly pale. His dark, wet hair made the contrast even worse. Arthur felt nauseous. He knew that time was catching up to him.

Arthur tried to remember what Gaius had taught him long ago - he had said something about people that had been underwater for too long. He had been just a prince, around ten years old back then. He had been certain that none of his knights would ever get into a trouble like that. Well, he had also been certain that none of his knights would ever die - that none of the people around him would die. The cruelty of reality had stricken him later on. But Arthur couldn't think about death. He had lost too many people.

Merlin was essential. Merlin was as familiar to him as his own shadow. Merlin wasn't the one that should get hurt. Arthur's hands were shaking badly. He stared at them, still lost.

Gaius had said something important, Arthur couldn't for the life of him remember. He tried to reason with himself - people passed out from the lack of air. Merlin had probably accidentally swallowed water. As long as his lungs were filled with water, he wouldn't be able to breathe. And if he couldn't breathe...

Arthur put his trembling fingers on Merlin's neck again, trying to find a pulse. His fingertips were cold and partly numb, but as unbelievable it seemed, he could feel a faint, occasional beat. It was dangerously slow and weak, and Arthur knew it could stop any second now.

-Alright, Merlin, you'll be fine." Arthur stuttered out. His own voice sounded hoarse after a long time of holding his breath underwater. Somehow he felt the need to talk. Merlin was always talking. Sometimes Arthur didn't really even listen, but he did hear. When they were together - and that meant everyday, and most of the time in it - they were rarely silent. The silence seemed alien and unnerving. Arthur hated it. It always indicated that something was wrong with Merlin. Always.

The silence was too deep, too real.

In a passing moment, Arthur realized he had been this scared in his life for someone else only a few times before. In the small shore surrounded by long reeds, Arthur felt small and vulnerable. The only sounds were the water dripping from his hair and his shallow breathing.

In that moment, he wasn't a king that could command people. There weren't anyone in here. Just enemies. And Merlin, his own loyal Merlin, who wasn't breathing. Arthur realized he was falling into a panic and forced himself to concentrate. He had been wasting precious seconds again. He needed to get all of that water out. He couldn't think of anything else.

Biting his lip, he places both of his hands on Merlin's chest and pushed them carefully down. Nothing. Arthur took a breath and did it again. Merlin stayed unmoving. Anxiety tightened its grip on him.

-Come on Merlin. Now it's not the time for this." he mumbled, voice thick, talking to himself than anyone else.

He tried again, this time harder. There was no response and Arthur let out a pained, frustrated moan. Merlin was unnaturally pale. His lips were slowly turning blue.

-Don't you dare to die on me." Arthur said defiantly. He tried to sound threatening, but even to his own ears it sounded fake. He choked back a sob. -Don't you dare, Merlin."

Then he tried again. Nothing.

And again. Nothing.

His panic was turning into a slow, icy despair. Arthur studied Merlin's empty face, and his eyes blurred suddenly. Arthur brushed his eyes quickly in fury. He was _not_ going to cry. He was not going to give up, not now.

His hands kept shaking angrily. Arthur squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. He couldn't give up. This was his fault. Merlin had warned him, and he hadn't listened.

Arthur felt unreal. His senses were even more dulled than before. He didn't even look around anymore. He didn't care about Morgana's men. A damn army could run to the shore and he wouldn't even notice. He didn't care about anything, not even Camelot.

Because for the first time in years, Arthur felt lonely. He knew he was alone. Had been for some time now. This was stupid and pointless. He had gotten Merlin killed. It had been his own hands holding Merlin under the water until his air had run out. He had no one else to blame.

Arthur realized he would have to tell Hunith. He would have to look Merlin's mother in the eyes and tell her it was his fault that Merlin was gone. Of all the things that the moment held, it seemed the most ridiculous. Arthur tasted something like bile on his mouth. He couldn't see anything because his eyes were betraying him - they were burning and he couldn't make it stop.

The moment had only him and Merlin in it, with the terrifying realization that this could be their last. Arthur's head was filled with memories of Merlin - smiling, joking, teasing. Giving him a reassuring nod before a battle. Sitting him next to a campfire.

And then for no particular reason, Arthur's remembered their first meeting. It had been on the market place all those years ago. Merlin had been arrogant, disrespecting and rude. Arthur could still remember how unbelievable it had been that someone had talked to him like that. And in the same time, he had been intriqued by it.

For the the first time in his life filled with bootlickers and greedy people interested in money and power, there had been someone to call him an idiot and criticize him - but also willing to die for him. Not because of the duty for their kingdom but because they cared enough to do so. And Arthur hadn't had a single friend in his whole life before that. Being royal was a lonely business.

His mind was shoving all of his memories to him, as unwilling he was to remember.

After all these years, Arthur could still remember that intoxicating feeling of having a friend. And right now, he could feel how that part of him was slowly ripped out, painfully. No one else understood. No one else was as close to him as Merlin was. No one. His loyal idiot.

And Arthur couldn't lose him.

He had to squeeze his shaking hand into a fist and press it against his mouth. His whole body was shaking now, and he was quite sure the water had a little to do with it. He forced down a sob and brushed his eyes angrily.

All of his thoughts had gone by in just a few seconds. His guilt was almost as crushing as his despair. He looked down.

-Merlin, I won't let you die like this. So you might as well wake up, you hear me?" he said aloud, voice shaking. Merlin was unnaturally still - Arthur hated seeing him like this - it reminded him of the close call with the Dorocha. Merlin was never still - he was always doing something. Even when he was sleeping, his fingers usually twitched a little. Arthur had seen it several times while being the night watch at patrols and quests. It seemed ridiculous that he would remember that small detail now, in this situation.

Arthur felt a sudden furious rush of affection and despair at the same time. He couldn't lose Merlin. He couldn't. The new world without Merlin in it was already whispering into his ear, waiting for him with dark arms open.

Arthur felt paralyzed. He could almost feel the weight of the sorrow and grief lurking in his mind - it tried to make him imagine being alone in the castle. In his chambers. In the training field. Patrols. Quests. Feasts. Councils. Everywhere. All the time.

Merlin was always there. Always. Arthur tried to remember the time when they hadn't known each other. He couldn't. He had had several servants, that had changed every day. He couldn't remember their names. He could barely remember any of their faces. There was just Merlin.

He would have to hire George. The thought would have made him chuckle in any other situation, but now it just made him swallow painfully, his throat sore. It would be bittersweet. George was the perfect manservant - polite, efficient and practical. Things got done and in time. There had been nothing to complain about. George was perfect.  
But he wasn't Merlin. He wasn't the idiot that never remembered to knock and made bad jokes and smiled that annoyingly bright smile of his and criticized him and never left his side and was always there. George wasn't Arthur's. It seemed the most stupid thing he had every thought about anyone, but it was true. Merlin was_ his_ - his servant, his advisor, his friend. His best friend.

Arthur bit his lip so hard that he tasted blood. Once more he pressed his hands to Merlin's chest again.

-Spit the water out, Merlin. Come on." he said, pleading.

Then he pushed his arms down hard, praying that Merlin wasn't already gone. Hot tears filled the king's eyes - he rarely ever cried. He shouldn't cry. He tried to swallow the sobs that were trying to break free. He wouldn't cry because then he would admit the truth that was screaming to his face.

Arthur just stared.

Despair felt black inside his heart. Merlin hadn't moved in a long time. He hadn't shown any kind of response. Arthur knew his heart couldn't have possibly kept on beating all this time. Merlin could be stubborn, but he was still a human. Seconds crawled on. Arthur felt like he was slowly starting to suffocate, too.

-Merlin, please." Arthur finally squeaked out. Kings didn't beg. But he didn't care about that.

Arthur tried a few more times, small drops of water falling from his hair and his eyes. Arthur couldn't see a thing - his eyes were filled with tears again. He was angry at himself - for crying like this, for letting this happen. What would he tell Gaius? How could he live with himself? How could he stand being all alone, all the time, from this day on?

Then finally, in despaired rage, he gave one last powerful shoves. But after getting no response, he pulled back in denial. Arthur fell backwards, partly on to his legs and partly to the shallow water. Miserably, Arthur let go and hung his head, squeezing his eyes shut. The tears managed to escape through anyway. He shook his head, unable to understand. This couldn't be happening.

It was just a stupid patrol. It was just an ambush. It was another day in their lives, another fight among the dozens of others. It wasn't even a significant fight.

_"If I die, will you call me a hero?"_

That was what Merlin had asked Arthur, when he had been injured in the shoulder, and they had hidden in the forest from the mercenaries._  
_

_"Probably."_

There was a painful lump in Arthur's throat. This was his fault. For the rest of his life, he would blame himself for this day. He could never forgive himself.  
Blackness curled itself on his mind, and suddenly the world was turning to grey. He was alone. He would be alone. He would be alone tomorrow and the day after that, to years to come. He felt sick again. And crushed.

He had done many mistakes in his life, but this was and would always be the worst.

-I'm sorry." he said with a shaking voice, but the words felt empty. There wasn't anyone left to hear them. He shook his head.

Arthur fought the urge scream out. He buried his face into his hands. He tried to keep himself together, but he knew there wasn't any hope left. He couldn't stop the tears rolling off his cheeks, hitting the shallow water of the river below him. The sound of them colliding with the water sent chills down his spine.

Merlin was gone.

He was dead, and it was all Arthur's fault.

Arthur felt guilty for breathing. He felt guilty for surviving this. He choked back a sob. It was so quiet. Too quiet, suffocatingly quiet. He had never felt so ashamed and guilty and broken in his entire life.

Then, all of a sudden Arthur heard a soft sound and his eyes snapped open.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey!

So, after torturing you with another cliffhanger, here is chapter five. I'm amazed by the flattering and nice comments I've received, you all are so wonderful to me! Also the amount of follows is astonishing. Thank you everyone.

Since I update this a few days later I usually do, I decided to give you a longer chapter. (Also because it was requested from me.) Please tell me what you think!

Story: In Deep Water (Chapter five)  
by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

As soon as Arthur got his eyes open, he brushed them hastily to have a clear view.

There was some water dripping out from Merlin's mouth. Merlin, however, didn't stir.

For one second, Arthur just stared, unable to comprehend if this was just his mind playing tricks on him. The moment felt unreal and blurry, like he has suddenly started dreaming. But then Arthur snapped back into action, gasping, and instantly pushed down on Merlin's chest a few more times. Luckily there was more water dripping out and in a heap of sudden hope, Arthur used strength as much as he dared, pushing hard down.

And then, Merlin's body jerked a little. The movement under Arthur's hands almost startled him. He instantly took a grip on Merlin and turned him partly to the side, helping him to spit the water out.

-Come on Merlin." he whispered, hoping, _praying_, that it would work.

Then suddenly Merlin was spitting a lot of water out, his body tensing and doing painful small convulsions.

Arthur felt like he had been suddenly hit to the head - his hearing and eyesight suddenly sharpening. He felt light-headed and his heart was thundering in his years. Hope flared up in him so powerfully and painfully that Arthur was almost too afraid to let it in yet. But Merlin didn't stop coughing. He didn't sag bonelessly back to the sand, even if Arthur dreadfully feared it.

Merlin kept coughing up water for some time, even if he didn't seem to be really concious. Arthur couldn't do anything but to hold his breath, his every sole and bone and muscle tight as a violin string, the panic and sorrow still lingering somewhere at the back of his mind. He couldn't almost believe this was happening, that Merlin was actually spitting that damned water out. After some long seconds, Arthur started to worry. There was a lot of water, a lot more he could ever have imagined that someone could even swallow. Merlin's skin was still ghostly pale and it was clear the water was blocking any attempts to breathe in.

Arthur shifted his weight nervously, hands shaking now even more badly than before, anxiousness and restlessness making him edgy. Merlin kept twitching and the violent coughs shook him. Arthur tried to think of anything he could do to help, but nothing came to mind. The wait made Arthur feel powerless. He kept wincing, because the whole process looked very painful and uncomfortable thing to do.

But then, after what felt like forever, Merlin's coughs died down. Fear crashed back to Arthur's heart, as Merlin went still. He stared in horror for five long, torturing seconds before Merlin suddenly drew a weak and short breath. It was very troubled and sounded awful in every sense of the word, but Arthur was sure he had never heard anything better in his whole life. He squeezed his tightly shut, trying to calm himself down.

Merlin struggled for another breath and Arthur hurried to turn him on his back again carefully. He still hadn't opened his eyes or shown any sign that he was actually conscious. Arthur crouched closer and for a moment he just watched as Merlin drew air in. His servant's lungs were clearly protesting it - his breaths sounded horribly raspy and hoarse. Arthur didn't even know how long he just stayed there, watching him. Slowly but surely, Merlin's lips looked less blue and his skin wasn't deadly pale anymore.

Arthur drew a steadying breath himself, brushing his eyes and thanking every force he could name for letting Merlin live. Now that the immediate danger seemed to have passed, the relief kicked in with all its force. The strong emotions that were still all over the place were now laced with joy and endless relief. They were overwhelming, and Arthur felt almost breathless, as ironic as it was. He still couldn't stop his eyes watering and he just kept wiping them, distantly irritated but too happy to care.

_Thank God,_ he repeated to himself over and over again. Emotions had a war inside him, but all he could think about that Merlin wasn't gone.

Minutes passed. The sounds of both of them breathing was the only thing audible in the small river shore. Arthur listened to it gladly. He counted Merlin's breaths. His senses were sharp now, like the world around them started to exist again.

Merlin's breaths got slowly better and deeper. They still whined badly and they were clearly painful to take in, but at least he didn't stop. As long as Merlin was breathing, Arthur didn't care about anything else. Everything else could be fixed. Everything else was replaceable.

Arthur had caught a glimpse of a world without Merlin, and it had been grim and grey and filled with loneliness. His relief was currently dulling the guilt and self-loathing, but it was there at the back of his mind, ready to attack him whenever it got the chance. Distantly he knew that this moment would haunt him for a very long time. Even forever.

But Merlin was alive. He was breathing. That was the most important thing for now.

They were both still soaking wet and some sand had gotten stuck to Merlin's hair. For a while they both were completely still, just breathing in and out. Arthur swallowed the silent sobs that his emotion-driven body was still making. If it had been Merlin doing it, Arthur would have already called him a girl for being such a wreck. But right now he was just so grateful that he could even plan on teasing Merlin. Just minutes ago he had been sure all of that had been lost forever. Human life seemed so fragile. Arthur hated every reminder he had gotten of it. Bodies broke and lives were stolen. He should never forget that. He should never treat people like they were immortal or invincible. They weren't. Even kings weren't. And Arthur still reminded himself that it had been his own hands holding Merlin under the water. His very own hands.

Arthur swallowed and brushed his eyes. -You stubborn idiot." he whispered fondly.

His own breathing started to calm down, too. The sharpest peaks of panic were already passing. The wind moved in the trees above them, and for the first time in a long while, Arthur heard it. He heard the birds singing. World had colours and contrast once again. Arthur felt shivers going down his spine - it had been so close. _Too_ close. He had almost lost everything, just like that. An icy awareness throbbed at the back of his mind - he had been so close to been left alone. Behind.

Arthur snapped out of his thoughts when Merlin's eyes suddenly flickered open a little. Arthur instantly leant closer.

-Merlin?" he called quietly.

Merlin breathed in and winced unconsciously. Arthur felt a sting of guilt for seeing that.

Merlin shifted a little, and took a weak breath. His fingers twitched. Arthur studied his every move with slight worry, but waited in silence.

But then Merlin's eyes flickered again and then they cracked open a little. Arthur's heart skipped a beat for seeing a flash of that familiar blue in them - just a minute ago he had been sure he wouldn't ever see them again. The wave of mixed emotions - affection, relief, worry - washed over him.

Slowly, Merlin blinked his eyes - they were blear and unfixed. A raspy and bad-sounding moan escaped his lips. His face twisted into a slightly pained expression, and Arthur bit his lip. It had to hurt. As always, every time Merlin had gotten somehow hurt, Arthur turned angry. He couldn't explain it, but it was almost like an instinct. But as much as the anger tried to take over, Arthur forced it out of his head. First things first.

Merlin opened his eyes slowly. Arthur landed his hand carefully onto Merlin's arm and squeezed a little, gently.

-Merlin? Can you hear me?"

Merlin blinked several times, his eyes wandering somewhere in the sky above them, unseeing. Pain shone through his eyes. His lips were still somewhat blue and he was much more pale than Arthur would have liked, but he was getting better all the time.

Merlin was clearly disoriented and probably had no idea where he was or what had happened. But finally, his eyes found Arthur. Arthur couldn't help a relieved smile to spread on his lips when he saw those familiar blue eyes locking with his. They were distant and sluggish but the thought of never seeing them again had made Arthur yearn for simple things like this.

Merlin blinked and tried to say something, but all that came out was a small whimper. Arthur cringed as Merlin broke into a small coughs. Arthur made sure he could breathe properly, and waited patiently.

-It's alright, you're going to be just fine." Arthur said. His overwhelming relief made him ignore the fact that he was babbling some irrelevant nonsense. -We made it out of the river."

Merlin closed his eyes for a moment. He looked exhausted, and rested for a moment. Then he blinked again and turned his eyes towards Arthur. He looked weak and fragile but very much alive.

-rtr." Merlin croaked out and coughed again. Arthur winced - he sounded even worse than he had estimated. Then Merlin tried again, clearing his voice a bit.

-Arthur." he said very quietly, it was barely a whisper.

Arthur just nodded, a small smile in his lips. -Yes, Merlin." he said simply. His own voice was shaky. -I'm here. And I'm very glad to inform you that you are too."

Merlin was silent for a while, adjusting his surroundings and swallowing. -What...h-appened?" he stuttered out.

This time Arthur couldn't stop a guilty knot starting to form into his stomach. His relief was already starting to fade and turn into a dark self-loathing. He looked away and struggled with the growing hate towards himself. -Things didn't go according to the plan. You...You didn't..." Arthur swallowed once, shaking his head, and then swallowed again. There was a lump in his throat that just didn't go away. The air seemed heavy.

-I pulled you up from the river." Arthur said quietly.

Merlin eyed him. -So...we made it."

There was a heavy silence.

-Barely." Arthur said with dark tone, his own mind forming accusations and anger that became more and more violent inside him. He squeezed his hands into fists.

Merlin coughed but didn't look away from Arthur. -And...y-ou?" he asked.

Arthur turned to look at him, staring at him blankly for some time, before realizing what he meant. Then he let out an incredulous huff.

-Yes, _I'm _alright, Merlin." Arthur breathed out like it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. He just gaped at Merlin in awe - he had almost _drowned_ and he was asking whether Arthur was alright! It was so unbelievable and yet it was not. Merlin didn't seem to care much about the fact that he had been close to die because of Arthur and his stupid plan, instead he was much more interested if Arthur was fine. The thought made him a bit sick.

Arthur wanted to be shouted at. He wanted Merlin to be angry at him, furious even. Arthur wanted to get all the blame he deserved, because no matter how much he hated himself for this, his own guilt could never be bad enough. His own stupidity had almost cost Merlin's life. It had been a miracle that he survived.  
Arthur looked at Merlin, eyes glittering, brows furrowed. Merlin didn't look at all angry. He didn't look disgusted or furious. He looked like...Merlin. Pale and tired, and soaking wet yes, but not angry.  
And Arthur couldn't understand Merlin, he couldn't understand how someone could have such a good heart. The worst part that Arthur wasn't really surprised. This was Merlin, whose loyalty confused Arthur as much as it scared him. Merlin would had been ready to die for him, and the thought made Arthur nauseous.

-Go-good. Glad that...you're alright. Had to make sure." Merlin answered quietly, and flashed a small smile. He took another breath, resting again.

Arthur studied him, heart aching.

-You gave me quite a scare." he mumbled quietly. Merlin's looked at him and for a moment, he studied the king's face. There had to be clear traces of tears because Merlin's face filled with sympathy and pity.

-...close?" he croaked.

Arthur lifted his eyebrows in confusion but then caught up. Then he bit his already badly torn lip. -Yes, Merlin, it came close. _Too_ close. I never want anything like this happen again. Ever."

Merlin frowned and seemed slightly frustrated. -It wasn't..."

-Yes it _was_ my fault, Merlin." Arthur said, emotions taking over. -I should have listened to you. I just thought that you started panicking while we were underwater, so I didn't let you go, and there were arrows everywhere. I thought that you'd be fine for a while, that you could hold on just a bit more longer, but I was wrong. I was so stupid and I shouldn't have risked your life like that. I should have gotten us up sooner. I almost got you killed." Arthur hissed angrily.

He couldn't look at Merlin. He hung his head in self-loathing and shame, water dripping from his hair.

-But you didn't." Merlin said with a weak voice, coughing once more. -It seems I can't die by drowning." he said with a vague smile.

-It's not funny, Merlin." Arthur said quietly, somber. The half-hearted joke made him just feel even worse.

Merlin took a breath and turned his head towards his right arm. He winced, because the movement caused pain and he let out a hiss. Arthur turned his head instantly towards him.

-What?" he asked, worry shining through his hurried tone. Then he followed Merlin's gaze and noticed Merlin's rather messy-looking arm. The king gasped. He hadn't even remembered Merlin had hurt his arm while falling from the cliff. It had seemed so unimportant before.

-How bad does it hurt?" Arthur asked warily. Merlin let his head fell against the sand again. He swallowed. -It's been better." he said.

Arthur let out a huff. -Don't be ridiculous, I'm not blind, Merlin. That's not nothing. I concluded that you hit a rock on the way down."

Merlin just nodded. Arthur could see masked pain in his face. He just shook his head - Merlin had an annoying habit to pretend he was fine to the extent that he had ended up fainting or collapsing for a few occasions. Arthur had complained about it, but of course Merlin hadn't listened. Since when did he do anything Arthur told him to? But now it was not the time for that. Instead, Arthur just leant closer.

-Let me see that."

Merlin went very still, clearly bracing himself for the pain. Arthur studied his arm. Merlin's sleeve was torn from his wrist to his elbow. Blood had soaked it but fortunately the wound wasn't bleeding heavily. The rock had probably given it a hard blow and ripped the skin open at the same time. All and all, the arm looked pretty bashed in, and Arthur really hoped that there wasn't anything broken.

-Can you move it?" Arthur asked, not daring to touch the arm.

Merlin was quiet for a moment. -I managed to swim a little with it. It's probably not broken. Or not the arm, at least. I'm not that sure about my wrist."

Arthur leant a bit closer. He hoped Merlin hadn't noticed that his wrist was in a very unnatural angle. The king had seen a lot of injuries, wounds and bruises but there was something unnerving in twisted limbs.

There was a ominous silence for a while. Arthur sighed.

-I think you might have broken your wrist. Or then it's badly dislocated." Arthur finally said aloud.

-Great." Merlin said, swallowing. Without saying anything, Arthur took a grip of his own sleeve and pulled it quickly, the sound of ripping material suddenly filling the air. It seemed loud after their hushed voices, and the river carried it further.

Merlin looked in frustration. -No, you shouldn't..."

-Yes I should, and I will. I'm the king, remember?"

Merlin raised an eyebrow tiredly. -Yes, you keep telling me that. But you're not a physician."

Arthur glanced at Merlin and started to bandage the wrist as carefully as he could. -Well, I'll take you to Gaius later. But if you are fond of having an arm in the future, then it needs to wrapped somehow. Besides, the woods are still squirming with Morgana's men."

Merlin tensed suddenly. His eyes snapped back to Arthur, widening. -Wait, what happened? You said we got out of the river."

Arthur nodded. -We did. I had to get to the surface since you..." he took a breath. -And then I swam to the smaller current which moved us further away from the cliff."

Merlin just stared at him. -So you're saying that cliff is just an earshot away from us?" he said and lowered his voice instantly.

It was just then when Arthur realized how close those men could still be. He hadn't been even thinking about them. After getting to the shore, the panic had taken completely over him, and he hadn't even considered getting further away from their attackers. All he had thought about was Merlin.

Merlin shook his head. -What were you thinking? They had archers and it was just pure luck that we didn't get shot!" Merlin hissed.

-You were _drowning_. I couldn't care less about them." Arthur said defensively. He finished bandaging the wrist and lowered it to the ground. Merlin looked at him, and Arthur could see the familiar fire in him. The same fire that had made Merlin to open his mouth in the first place and talk back to him in the market place. As much as it annoyed Arthur to the death, it was the very thing that made Merlin, well,_ Merlin_.

-Arthur, you could have gotten yourself killed."

Arthur turned to look at him, furrowing his brows in disbelief. - _You_ almost died, Merlin." he said, his voice unsteady. -I might as well have, too, after practically drowning you."

Merlin shook his head. -Don't say that! It wasn't your fault. And if the situation had needed it, you should have just let me go."

Arthur felt like he had just been punched. And outrageous. His eyes locked with Merlin's. They were still both soaking wet and Merlin was rather pale, but his voice was already much stronger.

If Arthur hadn't been so upset and still feeling the afterwaves of the emotional peak, he would have laughed at the fact that just a moment ago Merlin had been dying and he had been breaking down, but they were bickering already with each other.

-Are you out of your mind? What do you take me for, Merlin? I was going to get you out of that river if it was the last thing I'd do." Arthur said, raising his voice.

Merlin just gave him a frustrated look. -Like you said it yourself, you are the king. You're the important one and the one who needs to stay alive."

Arthur just stared at him for a moment, almost forgetting to breathe. -You are _not_ unimportant. Just because I'm royal it doesn't...You can't...You're not..." Arthur cut himself off because he was starting to get so angry that he was stumbling on his own words. He looked at Merlin, incredulous. -What is it with you always trying to sacrifice yourself, Merlin?"

Merlin closed his mouth but didn't look away. Arthur just shook his head, slightly furious.

-I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being always on alert with you when we get into a dangerous situation. Sometimes I feel like I should put you on some kind of leash to make sure you won't run into sacrificing yourself right away when something happens. I'm sick of being afraid that someday I won't be able to stop you, like with the Dorocha. You almost died back then, Merlin! And it wasn't the only time. And I can't always watch your back and protect you and even if I can't I still always spend half of my time looking out for you when we're attacked. Do you have any idea how much I fear for you dying in the quests or patrols because of this?!"

Merlin looked surprised for the sudden outburst. Arthur's sincere tone made him swallow.

The king just shook his head. -You are not expendable. You are not unimportant. I don't care if you aren't a noble or royal or anything else like that. Why do you think I knighted ordinary people in the first place?" Arthur took a breath. - And I don't want to fear for your life all the time. My stupid mistake almost got you killed and I'm sorry. I won't let anything like that happen again. But you have to promise me that this has got to stop. You can't just throw yourself to danger every time something happens, Merlin."

Merlin's eyes were full of emotions. He opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it. Arthur's demanding eyes drilled into him, and the vague tear tracks made it a lot harder not to agree. Merlin looked away, shaking his head. - I can't promise that." he finally said, quietly.

Arthur took a deep breath, gathering his voice for an argument, but a sudden sound of a snapping branch interrupted him. They both froze. Arthur looked up towards the woods. Now that he started to look around and listen, he instantly knew something was off. It was too quiet. And they had argued rather loudly. Merlin had been right - the forest could be squirming with Morgana's men, just an earshot away from them. Arthur stiffened and Merlin kept his eyes on him, the atmosphere suddenly tensing and turning into a dangerous one. They were both deadly quiet now.

Arthur knew something was wrong. He realized he didn't even have a sword anymore. He scanned the trees with a bad feeling. Then he saw it - few shadows moving between them here and there. He instantly pretended he hadn't noticed and looked down to Merlin. Merlin looked back at him, warily.

-We've been surrounded." Arthur whispered.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey.

Sad times. The whole Merlin fandom has received the news - the show is ending. This season will be the last. I am very sad about this and quite upset that they dropped such a bomb. They could have informed us from the very beginning of the season that it would be the last one, so we would have had time to prepare. I know it has to end some time, but I had been hoping for a sixth season. But let's just hope they manage to put everything important to the last five episodes. And maybe do the movies.

So, to help you all with the sadness I decided to write even longer chapter this time. I hope it's alright with all of you. I can slow down the updates and make the chapters shorter - just tell me. But I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Please please give me some reviews because I'm so busy right now and the reviews are giving me energy to write this nevertheless! :)

Story: In Deep Water (Chapter six)  
by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

The air elecrified immediately.

Arthur was trying to think fast - Morgana's men were probably gathering to the woods around them, trying to be as quiet as possible, so they could get enough archers there. And when they were ready, they would probably send a deadly rain of arrows towards them. No warning or fair fights - just a cruel unexpected execution.

It had been pure knight's instinct that Arthur had even noticed them in time.

He had already noticed before that those men didn't want to come near to him - it seemed that his sword fighting skills did have a widely spread reputation. Morgana's men had hesitated coming near to him - instead, they had been trying to attack mostly Leon or Merlin. They were all cowards. Doing an attack like this was unfair and lacked honour. Just like Morgana nowadays.

Arthur took a deep, calming breath and forced to keep his eyes away from the forest. Unfortunately he could remember painfully well that he had taken his sword off just before they had jumped to the water and thrown it away.

Of course they weren't unarmed - Arthur had several knives hidden in his armour and clothes. Merlin always had at least two knives - Arthur had made him promise to wear them all the time. More than once they had come in handy.  
But they couldn't go against forty men with few small knives, and Arthur knew that. It would be a suicide. And Merlin wasn't in any condition to fight anyway.

Arthur's eyes slided back to Merlin, a bad feeling starting to grow. Merlin still looked too pale, and even if he had already recovered a little, it wasn't nearly enough.

-Surrounded?" Merlin asked, sounding quite horrible while trying to whisper. His voice was still badly hoarse and weak, even if it had gotten better. He tried to turn his head towards the woods, but Arthur quickly landed his hand to Merlin's shoulder.

-Don't." Arthur hissed. -Don't let them know we've noticed them. Stay still." he said, voice tense.

Merlin just nodded, clearly restless. -How many are there?"

Arthur's jaw tightened. Their whole trip had supposed to be a small, short patrol. Him and Merlin, Leon, Percival and Gwaine. Arthur didn't even dare to think about what had happened to his knights that had spread out and ran to different directions, trying to confuse Morgana's men. Merlin had refused to leave Arthur's side, not to much Arthur's surprise, so they had escaped together. Unfortunately Morgana's men seemed determined only getting the king killed, so the knights should be alright. But now it wasn't the time to think about them. They were in a much worse situation right now.

-There's at least over twenty men. There are more coming all the time." Arthur finally answered, lowering his voice. Merlin didn't reply, but the look on his face told Arthur everything he needed to know - their situation was bad. Very bad. They both knew it. They were outnumbered, practically unarmed, and both injured.

For a moment, all of the sounds - the river flowing, birds singing, wind rustling in the trees - could be heard clearly. But they all sounded malicious and ominous. It was only calm before the storm. The deathly illusion of safety. Their time was running out.

Merlin swallowed, cursing their bad luck. They both were thinking quickly.

Arthur knew Morgana's men wouldn't attack just yet. They would gather their forces, and they would made sure that this time, they would finish their job. Adrenaline started to rush inside his veins, and he sharpened his hearing. The atmosphere had gotten very dangerous in a very short time. His heart started pounding louder, and he almost feared those men could hear it. They couldn't let them know that they had noticed them. It was the only thing that bought them some more time - was it seconds or minutes, Arthur didn't know. He hoped from the bottom that it would be minutes.

Arthur eyed Merlin, and hopelessness started to take a hold on him. - Do you think you can stand?" he asked quietly.

Merlin blinked and looked distant, trying to make sense how he felt. But just after Arthur had asked the question - he already knew the answer. He could see the hidden desperation in Merlin's face, the growing fear in his eyes. A look of anxiety spread to Merlin's face and he swallowed. He tried to give a brave smile.

-Maybe." he whispered.

Arthur breathed out a shaky breath, shaking his head. He felt angry. They had almost made it. They had gotten out of the water. Everything would have worked out if Morgana's men hadn't found them. Arthur knew it was because of his own mistake - he shouldn't have underestimated them.

Slowly they both started to realize the extent of the danger they were in.

-No." he said finally. -That was a stupid question. Even if you can stand, Merlin, you can't walk and certainly not run. " he muttered, his hand clutching to a fist. He pushed it against the wet sand, but the touch didn't bring any comfort.

Merlin locked eyes with Arthur. For a moment, they just stared at each other, breathing in and out. Half of their bodies were still in the river. Merlin was still lying on his back, Arthur was kneeling on the shoreline. Arthur tried not to think about the fact that he had a broken arrow in his thigh. He hadn't mentioned about it to Merlin at all. But now he was increasingly aware of it - it would cause some problems.

They wouldn't be able to walk far. And there wasn't even a chance that they could run. They were unarmed, unable to defend themselves from arrows or in a fight.

Merlin's eyes started to glitter a little, and he gave a sad smile. -Go. Run. Leave me here."

Arthur inhaled so quickly that the breath got stuck into his throat. Absolutely _not_, Merlin. Don't you even start. I'm not going to leave you. It's not even an option."

Merlin frowned. -Well at least one of us could survive, then. There is no point getting us both killed, Arthur." he said in a frustrated tone. Arthur just gave him a meaningful glare.

Merlin sighed, swallowing. -I know what you're thinking. I can't walk or run. I would only slow you down. So now you're trying to come up with something else, but guess what, Arthur? We're surrounded. There is no time for this. You need to_ go_. I'll be fine."

-No!" Arthur hissed angrily. -Did you listen to me at all? No, no and _no_. I almost lost you just a moment ago. I'm not going through that again. If staying behind means that I'll die here with you, then so be it. I won't leave anyone behind. Especially not you." he said with a demanding tone.

Merlin just stared at him. Neither of them couldn't understand the other's reasoning, and then they both could. It was so infuriating that they both just stared at each other, wanting the other one to survive.

Arthur was so sick of this - he absolute hated the times Merlin was being like this. It wasn't the first time Merlin had offered to die instead of Arthur, and it was as touching as it was scary.

Merlin shook his head a little, sighing.-Why don't you see that..."

-I can't run either." Arthur cut off. -At least not very far." Arthur added, glancing quickly at the trees.

-Why not?" Merlin said, suddenly alert.

-I got shot with an arrow. It's not bad but it will slow me down remarkably. So running isn't an option." Arthur said.

Merlin looked at him, worried. -When was this? And why didn't you say anything?"

Arthur turned to look at him, adrenaline making him edgy and restless. He shifted his weight. -When I pulled you up from the water. And it doesn't make any difference right now." he said distantly.

For a moment, it was quiet. The atmosphere hung heavily between them, laced with desperation.

Arthur shifted nervously on his feet.

They were surrounded. They were both injured and practically unarmed. What could they do?

If they tried to fight, they might manage to kill ten men or more, but evidently they would lose. No matter how well Arthur could fight back, he would have to keep Merlin out of the way, too, and without a sword...Well, the fight would be over quickly.

If they chose to stay here on the shore, the men would just shoot them with arrows until some of them would hit their targets.

So fighting wasn't an option. Neither was staying put. Arthur knew they had only chance. As much as he hated the idea, it was the best and only one they had.

-Merlin, I'm afraid we don't have much choices." He sighed heavily. -We only have one, actually - the river."

Merlin looked incredulous. He blinked several times and just shook his head in disbelief. -You're not serious, are you?"

-Unfortunately I am. Staying here or going against them would be a suicide. If we can get to the river, then the current can take us quickly towards the south."

Merlin just shook his head. -Arthur..."

-I won't let anything happen to you again in the river." Arthur said quickly. - I promise. We don't need to go underwater anymore. I'll hold you up if I have to. But we need to get to the main current - it's our only way out of this."

Merlin gasped. -That's insane! If we end up in the main current, we can't get out of it. It's too strong, Arthur." He looked at the king with pleading eyes.

-I know it's risky, but we will certainly die if we stay here." Arthur said darkly.

Merlin just shook his head stubbornly. -Even if we manage to get to the water before they start shooting at us, and then manage somehow to swim to the main current, then how are we going to get out of it? The river continues some miles but you know where it will lead to. The waterfall."

Of course Arthur knew it. It was the long and massive waterfall in the south where the river flowed to. It was high and no one could survive that fall. If they didn't get out of the main current in time, it would mean certain death. And if by some miracle the fall didn't kill them, then the rocks below the water would.

-We won't be able to survive from that, Arthur." Merlin whispered, desperation shining through his voice.

Arthur just eyed Merlin, losing hope. He fought the urge to just ignore Merlin, grab him and pull him back to the river to escape. But he had done that before, and he had almost drowned Merlin because of it. So he bit his lip and no matter how restless he felt, he stayed still. He had promised himself to listen Merlin. He had promised himself that he would take Merlin's warnings seriously.

-You're right." he finally mumbled. Arthur hung his head, cursing once again. Their situation was grim. They could practically only choose the most pleasant way to die. And Arthur knew that going into the river could be a bad idea - he had an arrow in his thigh and Merlin was still weak. He was too small - he wouldn't be able to stay on the surface on his own if he had to fight back to the current in the same time. If they were both completely uninjured and well-rested, it might have been possible. But they weren't.

Arthur felt hope fading. A crippling denial took a firm grip of him. He felt bitter. After everything they had gone through, after everything they had survived from - they would die like this. Because of his own stupidity. He cursed once again, running a hand through his wet hair, trying to think desperately of something.

They would need a miracle to get out of this alive.

Slow, anxious-filled seconds crawled by. Merlin breathed in and out, deep in his thoughts. Arthur tried to stay calm. He was painfully aware of the ticking time and the men getting ready somewhere there in the forest.

-Arthur."

Merlin coughed once, as Arthur turned to look at him. They were both still soaking wet. There was a soft, sad look in Merlin's face.

-We don't stand a chance, do we?" he asked with a honest, quiet tone. Arthur's furrowed his brows - there was something new in Merlin's eyes. He had seen it a few times before - but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

But then Arthur just sighed sadly. -I'd rather say that the odds aren't on our side."

They both let out a faint, joyless smile. It was a bad underestimation, and they both knew it.

Then Merlin's smile faded and his expression suddenly changed. He looked like he was trying to decide something - like he was suddenly battling with himself about something. Arthur felt a sting of worry - he had seen that look before and it had never meant anything good.

Arthur took a long, calming breath and stole another look towards the forest. There was only some slight movement that could be seen. His despair started to deepen - the attack couldn't be far away. Suddenly Merlin started to struggle up.

Arthur's eyes snapped back to Merlin. -What are you doing?" he hissed.  
Merlin had troubles getting up with only one arm, and he winced several times. -Getting us out of this mess." he said with a strained voice.

Arthur huffed incredulously and pushed Merlin mercilessly back down. Unsurprisingly, he didn't really need to use any real strength and Merlin fell back to the sand with a grunt.

-No. We don't have time for this." Arthur said, irritated. -And besides, what could you possibly do to get us out of this?" he said, genuinely confused.

Merlin squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. He went quiet, just breathing in and out. He looked like he was in pain, but it didn't seem physical. There was something off about it, and slowly a distant warning bells started to ring in Arthur's head. Slowly, something like determination filled Merlin's face.

-Merlin, what is it?" he asked, voice wary.

Merlin opened his eyes, and he didn't look at Arthur. His eyes were glittering a little. An icy feeling started to spread to Arthur's heart.

Merlin swallowed hard. -I...I need to...There's something I need to do, Arthur." he said with a weak voice. Arthur's bad feeling definitely went up immediately. He squeezed Merlin's healthy arm a little - partly to get his attention, partly to hold on and make sure Merlin didn't just rush into things.

-You're not making any sense, Merlin." he said carefully. He studied Merlin's face, but Merlin refused to look at him. -And we really don't have time for any of this. Those men could attack us any second now. I wouldn't like to remind you about this but they have archers in there, Merlin. Very good archers, too."

-I know," Merlin said with a shaky voice. His eyes looked teary.-That's why I need you to trust me."

If there had been some warning bells ringing in his head, they were breathtakingly loud now. Arthur stared at him, uncomfortable feeling in his throat. The word 'trust' hand a bad echo in it. Of course Arthur trusted Merlin. He didn't need to ask him to. And why was he so upset? Whatever Arthur might tease Merlin about, he knew Merlin wasn't a coward. Far from it. So this couldn't be it. It was something else.

Arthur studied Merlin carefully, seeing pain hidden in his features. Then suddenly he remembered something similar, from years ago, when they had been in Ealdor for the first time together. They had barely known each other back then. "_Whatever happens out there today, please don't think any differently of me." _That's what Merlin had said.

_" I won't. It's alright to be scared, Merlin." _

_"That's not what I meant." _

Suddenly the memory replayed itself in Arthur's head, and the similarity struck him. Merlin had had that odd look in his eyes, even then. But Arthur knew Merlin too well. Even now it couldn't be about fear, not really. It was something else entirely.

Arthur took a deep breath and once again glanced at the woods. -We don't have much time."

Merlin took a shuddering breath. -I know. That's exactly why there isn't any other choice left." He looked torn and there was this...endless sorrow in his eyes. Suddenly a shiver went up Arthur's spine.

-What choice, Merlin? What do you mean?" he asked, voice getting more and more tensed.

Merlin squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. A lonely tear escaped through his eyelids, and that made Arthur startle. Suddenly his body was getting into a fight mode again - his heart pounding, adrenaline rushing in his veins, his senses sharpening, worry and despair taking hold. Their situation seemed hopeless, but no matter how hard Arthur tried to concentrate on making a proper plan, there was something in Merlin's voice and tone that made him suddenly feel cold. Icy cold.

-Merlin, you're starting to scare me. What is it?"

Merlin opened his eyes. Arthur instantly knew something was wrong. Another shiver crawled up his spine, and he had to swallow hard. Merlin looked at Arthur, then glanced to the tree line. His eyes were filled with sorrow and determination. The combination made him look disturbingly sad.

-I'm not letting you do anything stupid." Arthur said with a defiant tone. He didn't have a clue what Merlin could possibly do, and it made him increasingly nervous. There was a slight lump in his throat. He was truly getting worried now.

-Merlin, did you hear me?" he said with a demanding tone.

Merlin blinked tears away. -Since when has that ever stopped me?" he asked with a weak smile, which made Arthur stiffen. Those words were something that had spoken too often close to a life-threatening situations. They were never a good sign. Never.

-Merlin..." he warned with a serious voice. -Whatever you think you're doing, don't."

-Are you giving me an order?" Merlin said, smiling weakly. His teasy tone had no power in it when his eyes were full of tears.

-No, I'm asking you." Arthur said sincerely, locking eyed with Merlin. Merlin looked torn. They stared at each other, desperation pouring from both of them. For a moment, Arthur memorized everything about the situation - everything from the dripping water to Merlin's messy, dark hair. He needed to remember all of it if something was to happen.

He knew Merlin was too weak to fight. He wouldn't be able to get up easily from there - his other arm was still badly injured, and he had to at least slightly disoriented for being unconscious for so long. And that was exactly what Arthur was counting on.

Arthur flashed a small smile. -You are right, though. There is no need for both of us to die, Merlin, just like you said." he breathed out. Merlin looked at him, confused. Arthur was suddenly struggling with his emotions trying to take over, and he had to hold his breath. He felt affection once again washing over him. His stubborn, loyal idiot. Whatever would happen now, he would remember this moment clearly.

Arthur squeezed Merlin's uninjured arm and smiled sadly. -You've been the most loyal friend I've ever had."

Merlin's eyes widened. He clearly sensed the change in the king's behaviour, tensing. -Arthur, what are you..."

-Goodbye, Merlin." Arthur whispered and swallowed hard. He gave one small squeeze and then got up, his leg protesting him but not stopping him. Merlin tried hastily to take a grip of his arm but he was too slow. Arthur stood up and stepped to the side, facing the forest.

-Arthur, no!" Merlin called, panic in his voice.

But Arthur bit his lip and started walking towards the trees, raising his hands slowly into air.

Suddenly the movement magnified in the forest, and Arthur could see dozens of arrows now pointed towards him. The men stepped out of the shadows and suddenly there were something close to forty men staring at him from the treeline. They were clearly waiting for an order to fire.

-Wait!" Arthur shouted and walked slowly closer.

Behind him, Merlin struggled to get up with one arm and his badly dizzy head. The moment he lifted it up from the sand, his world twisted and turned in odd angles and he felt sick. He was still light-headed and weak, and every movement sent shivers through him.

He tried desperately to get up and stop Arthur, but his head was spinning too violently, and for a moment Merlin feared he might faint. He had no choice but to stay still for a while, closing his eyes, panicking for every second he was wasting.

-Hold your fire!" Arthur shouted and fortunately, the men did. They glanced nervously at each other, clearly not expecting him to have even noticed them at all from their hiding place.

Arthur swallowed. -I have an offer for you. Hear me out." he shouted, searching for the group's leader from the crowd with his eyes.

Merlin managed to sit up, but his legs felt boneless. His whole world was blurry. He was too weak. Arthur had _known_ this. Arthur was counting on it - that he couldn't follow him. That he wouldn't be able to stop him in time. Merlin bit his lip angrily, struggling to get up.

_Don't you dare to do this_, he thought in panic. _Don't you dare to let them kill you._

The brooding silence felt heavy. The archers stood still, clearly waiting for an order from their leader. Arthur eyed them warily, not lowering his hands from mid-air. Arthur clearly got their attention now.

-This is my offer - no more blood has to be shed. I willingly surrender. My only condition is that you leave my servant alive. He has no part in this."

-No!" Merlin gasped out, incredulously. He felt furious how helpless he was - he tried to get up on his feet but every attempt ended up on him falling straight back, sight blackening for a moment. He shook his head furiously, cursing Arthur and his own weak state.

-Arthur, don't." he tried to shout, but couldn't. His voice was still too weak to carry that far. Merlin tried to use magic to make the dizziness go away, but every time he tried, he almost passed out. Distantly he realized that he couldn't have done much with his magic anyway - being in such a pathetic state made him helpless.

Arthur bit his lip and ignored Merlin, no matter how badly his heart ached to hear Merlin pleading like that.

Instead he studied the men in front of him carefully. - But if you force me into a fight, then I can promise that almost half of you won't survive it. You have all heard of my fighting skills. So if you value your lives, take my offer."

Finally several murmurs broke the silence, as the men looked at him with surprised faces. They clearly hadn't expected anything like this. Arthur could only hope his reasoning was working.

Then after a long, heavy silence, someone barked an order. A big man stepped between the trees and closer to Arthur. He was clearly the leader. He had black hair and an enormous axe in his hands. He eyed the king with sick satisfaction.

-Surrender, huh?" he answered, and let out a dark laugh.

Arthur lowered his hands slowly. -And without a fight." he said with a careful tone.

-Well, you make this almost too easy, Pendragon." the leader said, despising. -It stains my honour that I didn't catch you myself. Or would, if I had any." he said mockingly, and few of his men laughed nervously from behind him.

Arthur instantly sensed that all of these men feared their leader very much. He could see it in their eyes - the haunted look, like with beaten dogs. He also realized it had been the only thing that had saved his life - the men were too afraid to act without orders, so they hadn't fired their arrows. But Arthur also knew he could have been easily killed if they had just shot him the moment he stood up.

Their leader looked cruel and a heartless man - Arthur was certain he was a murderer and an outlaw. No wonder his men feared him.

-I'm sure Lady Morgana will be very happy." the leader said. -I think she will generously reward me, the great Dex, who managed to get Arthur Pendragon on his knees."

Arthur bit his lip. At least this Dex didn't spare the dramatics. When Arthur didn't reply, Dex glanced at Merlin, who was now sitting still on the shoreline, unable to get up on his feet. Merlin watched the scene before him, stiff, ready to use the last of his magic to anything that he could.

-Spare your servant, you say?" Dex said, mockingly. -That must be him. Even I have heard of him - King Arthur and his pet. It's almost touching that you're ready to die for a simple peasant, _my lord_. Are you in love? Or is it because of your noble principles?"

Arthur glared at the man. -Just leave him out of this. It's me Morgana wants. Not him."

The leader gave him a dark glare and raised an eyebrow. -And why should we bargain with you when we can just kill you?"

Arthur lifted his chin. -Because clearly your men are afraid of me. If you've heard about my principles, then you surely have heard of my fighting skills. They don't want to fight me. They value their lives."

His words caused a restless movement among the men. Arthur sensed he was starting to win them to his side. Dex glared at him.

-Or do you want to anger Morgana?" Arthur asked loudly. Her name made each and every one of the men startle, even Dex. It didn't go unnoticed from Arthur - he had found their weak spot - they all feared Morgana much more than they feared their own leader.

-I know my sister." Arthur continued. -She won't be happy to hear that you didn't take my offer. She will be furious. And I'm quite sure she will ensure everyone of you dies a painful death if you turn down my offer."

Of course Arthur knew Morgana only wanted him dead, but these men could be fooled. They weren't very clever - bandits, mercenaries - all kinds of outlaws. All they were interested in was money and keeping their heads. If Arthur just could manipulate them a little, then the leader would have no choice but do as he said.

Arthur took a calming breath. -Also, if you take my offer, I can send my servant to the Camelot's border and send a word that my army won't come after you. And don't think they won't. I am their king and they will hunt you down like pigs. My offer would ensure your own safety."

That seemed to startle even Dex. Now him and his men started to eye him differently.

-Arthur, no." Merlin begged, voice breaking. He knew Arthur's offer was too good to deny. He knew they were going to take it. Merlin swallowed, brushed his face with his good hand and gathered his magic, painfully aware that he was too dizzy to use it effectively. But he would try. If it was the last thing he'd do, he wouldn't let Morgana's men hurt Arthur.

Dex glanced at Merlin, and then Arthur. For a moment, he considered the bargain. Then a wide smile spread to his lips.

-It seems we have reached an agreement, then." he said with a sly smile. He glanced at his men, giving some sign to them with his hand. Then he nodded to Arthur.

-I agree with your offer." Dex said.

Arthur let out a long, relieved breath. At least Merlin would get out of it alive. Arthur's body was tight as a violin string - adrenaline was loudly pumping in his veins. They had no other choice. This was the best solution there was. At least Merlin would be alright.

Dex stepped slowly forward, and then offered his hand. Arthur glanced at it suspiciously.

-I'm just showing my men how gentlemen do this." Dex said with sarcasm.

Merlin knew there was something more to it. He knew there was something wrong with Dex's behaviour. Too late he realized that the hand sign that Dex had shown to his men had been something completely else than to hold their fire. -Arthur, watch out!" he yelped, but Arthur already stepped one step closer.

Before Merlin could even utter a spell, Dex flashed his enormous axe into action and swung it towards Arthur. There wasn't any time to duck away from it.

Merlin screamed out in horror and panic, and instantly a huge pressure wave of magic burst out of him instinctively when the axe flew towards Arthur. Merlin had only the time to see the axe colliding with Arthur's head and then a loud clank could be heard. Powerful magic flowed out of Merlin, sending half of the men flying in the air, and even causing a small earthquake. Merlin felt like his heart was stopping. Arthur collapsed to the ground, and before the tears and the exhaustion blackened Merlin's eyes, he had only a fraction of a second to realize that there wasn't any blood in Dex's axe.

Not even a drop.

Then he hit the ground.


	7. Chapter 7

Hey!

So, I'm back again. :)

I've gotten some encouraging reviews from you, thank you! :) I'm really, really happy to hear that you like the story! I can not express how grateful I am for the reviews. :) They have gotten me back into writing and I've been enjoying writing this story after such a long writer's block.

On a side note, I can't stop giggling at one review which commented on the fact that Merlin and Arthur got caught because they started arguing like an old married couple.  
Also, there was this theory that the axe was a rubber one and this whole thing was supposed to force Merlin to reveal his magic (gone terribly wrong of course). I almost spat my tea to my screen for that. :D

I'm kind of sorry for the cliffhangers - and then I'm not. This time I'll let you off the hook easier, just for a change. :D

Please review!

Story: In Deep Water (Chapter seven)  
by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

Drop.

A sound of a water drop was the first thing that invaded Merlin's mind. Everything was black, slow, sticky mess. He had no idea where he was or what had happened. His head was so heavy and his thoughts so disoriented that it took a long time before even started to remember anything about the patrol.

Then pain joined him soon after. It started as a dull ache in his wrist and his throat, getting worse all the time. Every muscle was tensed and throbbing. Disturbing sound rip through his head - Merlin could feel a massive headache forming. There was this wheezing, raspy sound he could hear that sounded bad and made him want to wince.

He had no track of time. He had no idea how long he had been like this or what had even happened. Slowly things started to clear out a bit - Merlin remembered they had gone to the patrol. He remembered being attacked. Then running to different direction than the knights. Arthur running, pulling him from the arm. Jumping from the cliff.

Arthur. Where was Arthur? Suddenly the memories flowed in easily, quickly and suddenly Merlin could remember the sensation of drowning, then waking up, spitting water out, trying to catch his breath. Talking with Arthur. Then Morgana's men.

The image of the axe had burned into Merlin's memory so well that he would probably remember it for the rest of his life. Merlin would have felt panic, rage or crushing grief if there had been enough energy. But he was slow, and in pain, and nothing made sense.

He stayed in the darkness. Only the sound of water dripping somewhere and the awful wheezing sound accompanied him. He couldn't make out anything else. It felt like hours.

Then when he slowly regained some more conciousness and his head cleared a little, Merlin tried to open his eyes. The pain was getting worse all the time - he distantly realized he must have been on a same position for a long time. But the fact that he was actually alive was much more surprising. What had happened to Arthur? And what had happened to him?

He needed to know. So as much as it hurt and made him feel sick, he struggled to open his eyes. The moment he did, angry light stung his eyes and made them instantly water. Merlin moaned instinctively, but it got stuck in his throat and suddenly he felt like his lungs were on fire. He tried to cough weakly but any movement sent violent waves of pain into his body.

Merlin realized that the horrible wheezing sound he had been hearing all this time was actually his own breathing. The thought made him worried and slightly disgusted - he hadn't heard anything nearly as bad as his lungs were doing now, not even with Gaius' patients. His muscles were stiff for lying on the same position for such a long time.

Merlin waited for a long time for the dizziness to pass, and then tried to open his eyes again. This time he got them open and after blinking several times, he managed to keep them that way. He saw trees somewhere far, far above him. Dark trees, with rain falling constantly through their branches. A lot of it was falling onto him, too. It was dark - it must have been almost nightfall.

Merlin kept breathing, unable to stop himself sounding so horrible. He barely could swallow at all - his throat and lungs protested every breath. He tried to listen over the noise - and could hear distant voices and the rattle of fire.

Merlin tried to move, but his muscles ached angrily. He must have lain like this for hours. He tried to move his hands, but his wrist flamed up in pain and he almost passed out because of it. Merlin bit his lip, rain falling to his face and flowing down to the ground. He couldn't moan or scream out - he could very well choke if he did.

Seconds passed. Merlin's head started to sharpen, and agony started to take over. Where was he? Where was Arthur? He tried to be logical.  
Firstly, Merlin could conclude he was lying on a forest floor. He couldn't hear the river anywhere near - just his own breathing and the sounds of a camp some kind. Also, his hands were tied. His probably broken wrist was mercilessly wrapped with tight rope to his healthy arm - the fabric that had once been Arthur's sleeve was still serving as a make-shift bandage. He didn't dare to move his arms.

Merlin took a careful, long breath. His throat was still raspy, but he forced himself not to think about it. Instead, he turned his head slowly towards the light. A warm light of a campfire shone from there. Merlin could see a dozen of men sitting around it or near it. They were about thirty metres away from him - there were around ten men guarding the camp. One of them was sitting quite near to Merlin, but he didn't seem to have noticed Merlin was awake.

It didn't take him long to recognize them as Morgana's men. Merlin could even hear Dex's voice from somewhere. He stared at them both in surprise and slight fear - why had they taken him as a prisoner? Why was he still alive?

And the most important and burning question - where was Arthur? Merlin cursed silently. Dex had betrayed Arthur - he had attacked him even if they had agreed on a bargain. Merlin knew that Arthur had barely had time to duck out of the way - but there hadn't been any blood in the axe. None. Merlin was certain of it.

He could also remember his magic reacting and bursting out, almost as an explosion. He had no idea whether these men had realized it had been him doing it - whether they knew he had magic or not. Right now, he couldn't care less. Only thing that mattered was Arthur. And Merlin couldn't see him anywhere near the camp.

His heart sank and fear started to grow inside him. What if Dex had indeed killed Arthur? What if he had just finished his job after Arthur had fallen and Merlin had passed out? The thought made a taste of bile to form into Merlin's mouth and he felt sick. He shivered on the cold ground.

His clothes were still wet. The continuing rain hadn't offered any chance for them to dry, and Merlin felt cold. He was slightly shaking. His eyes burnt. These men couldn't have just killed Arthur. Not like that. It _couldn't_ be possible.

He held back tears and let his head fall back to the ground, closing his eyes. Rain mixed to his tears. He felt miserable. There was a hole in his heart, starting to eat it from the inside out. It couldn't be real. This couldn't be happening.

Arthur should have been here with him.

But he wasn't.

And there weren't many conclusions Merlin could draw out of that.

Arthur had been killed.

Dex had murdered him.

For a moment, Merlin wished he was dead too. If they had truly killed Arthur, they shouldn't have spared him. They couldn't have shown any worse cruelty than this. Merlin's face twisted in overwhelming sorrow. His hot tears mixed to the rain.

He didn't make a sound. He didn't move an inch. He wasn't able to cry, not really, when any exception of a normal breath would sent him coughing and choking mercilessly. So he just laid there, hopeless, agony taking over him.

Arthur couldn't be alive. They would have killed him the first chance they got because that was what Morgana wanted. If they hadn't taken his offer, they should have just killed them both. Merlin had failed - he had been too late. Too weak. He hadn't been able to save Arthur from these men, even if he had used magic.

Despair made him feel suffocated. The sound of the rain dripping everywhere around him, hitting leaves and trees and himself made it even worse. Merlin hoped his injuries would have been worse, even that he had died drowning. It would have been much more kinder than this. Those men would certainly torture him or take him to Morgana, and Merlin wouldn't be able to watch her smug face and sick pride. No.

If it came to it, Merlin would find a last useful way to use his magic. He didn't even startle himself thinking about it. He wouldn't give Morgana the pleasure of killing him. If it was the last thing Merlin could do to ruin her plans, he would do it.

Merlin stayed still. Minutes passed. The dark forest was like a torturing prison. He was unable to think about anything but Arthur. Tears flowed without a sound, and rain washed them away, making room for new ones. Blackness took over his mind, hope disappearing.

This was his fault.

He fell deeper and deeper into darkness. No matter how much he could cry, it couldn't ever dull the loss. This was too much. Everything he was or everything he should be had been destroyed in one day. In one second.

Arthur was gone.

Even if there was a nagging feeling at the back of his mind that he hadn't seen the axe to harm Arthur, not really. It had hit him, yes, but there hadn't been any blood.

_Stop it. _Merlin knew that false hope was useless. He would have to accept the truth.

He shivered from the cold. Distantly Gaius's voice of reason told him that he should get warmed up because he could catch a cold or something worse, especially after spending the whole day in wet clothes. The night would be cold. Merlin knew it, because had been freezing the night before, in their own camp. He had been cold even while sleeping next to the campfire and Arthur had even given his own cape to use as a blanket.

_"Here, use this. Your loud breathing and constant squirming is annoying me. You should eat more, Merlin. You're almost skin and bone, no wonder you're cold."_

Merlin let out a miserable chuckle. He had slept with Arthur's royal cape just last night, and here he was now, tied up, freezing, injured and alone. Arthur was gone. Everything had gone haywire so quickly.

Merlin ignored his muscle spasms from the cold. He ignored his own breathing that still sounded horrible. He ignored his own, broken wrist. He ignored himself. Because he didn't matter. What did one side of a coin do with the other? What could a half be on its own?

_Nothing. _

In a fleeting moment, Merlin realized his heart had just broken. It was just a simple statement, nothing more. He breathed in and out, the dark forest surrounding him like the darkest darkness there was.

Minutes passed.

Maybe even hours.

Merlin hoped he could have fallen asleep or unconscious again, but his damned breathing was so troubled that the sound of it was too loud, and it hurt. Also the cold was making him shiver from time to time.

His mind got lost into despair. His thoughts weren't clear, they were just a chaos of emotions and desperation. And sorrow. Overwhelming sorrow.

Then the sound of the man, who was guarding him, standing up from his spot alerted Merlin. He closed his eyes instantly, pretending that he wasn't awake.

-I'll check on the prisoners." the man barked to his fellow, sounding irritated.

The other one sighed. -Yes, good, it was your turn anyway." he said. -Are you sure Dex didn't hit the king's head too hard? He hasn't even twitched in hours."

Merlin's eyes snapped open. He barely managed to keep breathing normally, as a sudden rush of hope and adrenaline filled him. So Arthur was here? Arthur...was alive? Merlin knew that he couldn't hold his breath or inhale too deeply because then the guards would notice he was awake. So with all the determination he had, he controlled his breathing and sank limply to the ground, closing his eyes again.

The guard started to walk towards him. Merlin's heart pounded loudly in his hears, almost as loudly as his breathing whined, and he counted the man's steps.

The man stopped next to him. Merlin could sense him standing over him, eyeing him. After a moment, he kicked slightly Merlin's ribs. Merlin couldn't help but to wince but forced his face to be blank.

The man above him growled. -The serving boy is still out. With some luck he'll suffocate on his own. Have you heard how horrible he sounds like?" he said to the other man, letting out a humorless laugh.

Then he started to walk again, and for Merlin's surprise, he walked further away from the camp, passing Merlin.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid, _Merlin thought to himself - he hadn't even considered that these men would leave Arthur so far from the camp. Merlin hadn't even looked behind from spot he was lying on. He had searched Arthur from the camp or next to the guards, not from the furthest spot there was.

The guard stopped. Merlin could hear him kicking something and Merlin winced a little, guessing that something was Arthur. But in the same time the hope in him burned with such brightness that he could barely keep still.

A moan broke the silence. And Merlin knew that voice. He had heard it too often when he had tried to wake Arthur up, always irritated and half-asleep in his own chambers. Relief washed over Merlin. _Thank God_, he thought.

-No, the king's out, too." the guard said. -No wonder with such a blow to head, though." the guard added and huffed. Then he started to walk back. He passed Merlin without sparing another look at him and went back to sit with his fellow guard. They started to talk with each other, but Merlin didn't listen.

He was so happy that he could barely contain it.

After a moment, he dared to open his eyes again. He glanced at the guards, but they weren't looking their way. Then, Merlin slowly turned his head to the direction the guard had walked from.

There, slumped against the tree, was Arthur. Merlin had trouble breathing when he saw him - Arthur was pale and the left side of his face was covered in blood. His blond hair was sticky with blood and coloured red, and it was obvious that he had a wound on the side of his head which had bled quite heavily. His hair, his shoulder and part of his chain mail were soaked with it.

He didn't look good. He was also wet and Merlin could see that he was shivering from the cold, too. Merlin couldn't spot any more injuries besides the one on his head - and Arthur had told him that he had received an arrow to his leg. Merlin wasn't worried for that one, but head wounds were always bad.

Merlin cringed, but noted with satisfaction that Arthur was breathing without trouble - unlike Merlin himself. But he didn't really care about himself. As long as Arthur was alive, none of it would matter. Arthur's hands were tied and a chackle was put onto his right leg, the chain going around the tree.

Merlin noticed another chain and realized it came towards him. He followed it and only then noticed that not only one but both of his legs were shackled. He cursed in his mind. If they had been bound with just a rope, they might have had a chance to escape without much notice and quietly. But the shackles would make sure that they couldn't squirm out - no wonder why there was only two guards watching them.

Merlin knew he should be able to open the shackles easily with magic, but also knew that he wouldn't be able to hide it from Arthur. But if it came to it, he didn't really care. They needed to get out of here. Even if they were both in a bad shape.

Merlin glanced at his own legs and shackles. Then he eyed the guards - they weren't paying any attention to him or Arthur. Merlin knew he should try if he could open the locks. He would put them back in place, of course, but he needed to be sure they could be opened if necessary. He wondered how much strength it would take out of him, but these kinds of spells were easy.  
So quietly he uttered a spell.

Nothing happened.

Merlin stared with confusion at the shackles. He tried again. Nothing.

He furrowed a brow. Slight suspicion grew in him. Then he gathered some more magic and used a stronger spell. This time the shackles glowed a little and tightened their grip around Merlin's ankles.

Merlin exhaled too quickly because of the surprise and it ripped his throat like knives. He had to drop his forehead against the muddy ground to calm himself, and take much shallower breaths for a long time to gain his normal breathing pace.

He realized with slight fear that these were magical chains. They were exactly like the ones he had seen when Morgana and Morgause had captured him and left him to the Serkets. When he had used a spell to them, they hadn't opened but tightened even more and blocked the spell.

It was the moment Merlin knew they were indeed in deep trouble.

Morgana wasn't taking any risks. She had made sure that they wouldn't be able to get out if they were caught.  
Merlin sagged to the ground, panting heavily. He was more or less powerless. The ropes would be easy to take off, but if he couldn't get him and Arthur both free from the shackles, they wouldn't be able to escape. He didn't even dare to remind himself how injured they both were.

The thought was scary. Merlin had rarely felt this helpless. He laid in the ground, wet and cold, fear starting to lurk into his mind. They were prisoners, and they wouldn't be able to get out of his mess with his magic.

Merlin could only pray that he could come up with something before it was too late.

Strong shivers went through him. He listened to the rain, muscles aching, lungs and wrist burning. All that mattered was Arthur. He was alive.

Everything else could be fixed. Somehow.

At least that was what Merlin told himself.

After a long while he lost track of time. And even it seemed so improbable, he fell back into oblivion.

* * *

Arthur came around somewhere after midnight.

The process was slow and painful. He had never experienced a headache like this - his head, his muscles, everything was on fire. It was so painful that he blacked out several times just trying to move or open his eyes.

Arthur had encountered a lot of pain and injuries in his life, but he could have sworn this had to be one of the worst ones. He was cold, soaking wet, disoriented and in pain.

Fortunately he was leaning on a tree - it was the only thing helping him to set his senses straight. He spent half an hour just falling back to unconsciousness and then waking up again. Then he started slowly getting the hang of reality. He started to hear again. He could hear the rain, the campfire and some men murmuring something in the distance.  
His head was on fire, but after long minutes of blinking blearly, he could adjust his eyesight.

He was in a forest. It took a moment to Arthur to remember what had happened, and anger struck him the moment he did. The leader of these men, Dex, had betrayed him. It was obvious that he had been imprisoned and he had been out for a long while, considering it was already night and very dark.

Something important was missing. Arthur's hazy mind tried to figure out what it was. He had to lean back to the tree and take long, deep breaths before his thoughts cleared some more. Then it hit him - Merlin. Arthur's eyes snapped open, causing a violent wave of pain go through his head. He tried to see in the darkness, panic rising.

They had killed Merlin, hadn't they? If they hadn't taken his offer, they might have thought they had no use for Merlin. Arthur's heart sank and he blinked hard, trying to adjust his eyes to the darkness.

He was not able to do this again.

He couldn't. For a moment earlier that day, he had thought Merlin had been gone. And Arthur couldn't accept it. He refused.

So glancing frantically at the camp, he tried to find Merlin with his eyes. After a moment, he was quickly spiraling into devastated state. But before he had the time to panic, he suddenly heard something that caught his attention. He turned his head towards the sound.

There, in the middle of small plants and muddy ground, laid a too familiar form. Arthur forgot to breathe for a moment. Merlin was lying face down on the ground. There were shackles around his legs and it was clear that his hands were tied. His breathing was loud and sounded absolutely horrifying - like he could barely breathe at all.

Arthur just stared for a moment. At least Merlin was here, and alive. They were prisoners, sure, but they were both alive and together. It was enough for now.

Arthur noticed there were two guards nearby. They didn't pay much attention to them, and soon he understood why - his and Merlin's hands were bound and their legs shackled in to a big tree. They were also both injured - so they really didn't need to be guarded.

Arthur shivered. The night was cold, and their clothes were still wet because of the constant rain. Sudden fear stung Arthur - Merlin sounded bad. He was still suffering from the after effects of the water, and the cold weather didn't help at all. Arthur needed to get Merlin out of the direct rain - any shelter could do. Right now, it seemed that the tree he was leaning to offered some of it.

He didn't really care about the guards. If they wanted to kill them, they would have done it already.

So, with very slow movements, Arthur lifted himself up from the ground. He fell right back as his head flared up once again and a fainting spell hit him. His injured leg also throbbed. He hissed and waited for a moment.

After four tries, he managed to get up quietly and more or less crawl to Merlin. Then he shook Merlin carefully.

Merlin's breathing became unsteady for a moment, and Arthur feared he might start to cough. But then Merlin rolled onto his back and blinked several times.

As his eyes opened, Arthur let out a relieved breath. Merlin's eyes were instantly filled with recognition. There was relief and several other emotions. Those blue eyes stared back at him from the forest floor. Merlin was about to breath out something but Arthur pressed his hand softly to his lips.

Merlin silenced instantly and looked at him. For a moment, they shared a look of mutual understanding. There was no need for words. They were both happy that the other was alive. There was hope and fear and affection, but no words spoken.

Arthur nodded towards the tree they were shackled into. Merlin nodded slowly, glancing at the guards. They weren't paying any attention.

So slowly, Arthur pulled Merlin up, and it took a while. Arthur's head was dizzy and painful, Merlin's breathing became even more troubled when he was sitting. For a moment, Arthur feared Merlin wasn't able to breathe properly or a coughing fit would hit him, but fortunately Merlin managed to calm down his breaths.

They both half-crawled, half- carried each other next to three. The trip wasn't more than two or three metres, but it felt like forever. Then they finally sat down, exhausted. Merlin had trouble finding a good position, because every breath hurt and stung him.

They were both shivering. Every normal rule was discarded for now, so they leant their shoulders together, getting as close as possible to each other, sharing some body warmth. For a long time, none of them said anything.

They both knew how bad their situation was.

-How are you feeling?" Arthur finally said quietly.

Merlin tried to gather his voice. Just a whimper came out. He coughed, and it sounded he was close to choking. Arthur winced next to him.

-Sorry, that was a stupid question." Arthur said quickly. _Obviously not good._

Merlin turned to look at him. -Y-you?" he managed to whisper hoarsely.

Arthur sighed. Merlin was always just worried for him. -It seems I've received a heavy blow to the head. And some small scratch with it."

-Scratch? You...l-look horrible." Merlin stuttered.

Arthur let out a miserable chuckle. -You don't look that good either."

Merlin let out a vague smile but then it faded away. His loud breaths filled the pause between them. Arthur eyed him, worried. He shouldn't sound like that. Even if the water hadn't done any good to his lungs, Merlin's breathing sounded far too painful and horrible than it should. Besides, Merlin's answers were far too quiet and short. He really didn't look too good.

-They didn't hurt you, did they?" Arthur asked warily.

It took a moment from Merlin to answer. -No." he croaked. Arthur expected him to continue, but Merlin just closed his eyes for a moment, clearly struggling for a proper breath. Arthur bit his teeth together angrily. They both would have needed a physician. They both should have been in Camelot, and not here. But it seemed that wasn't going to any time soon.

-Good." Arthur finally said and glared grimly at the camp. -To be honest, I have no idea why we are still alive or what they are planning to do, and why they set up a camp. But we will find a way out of this, alright?"

Merlin glanced at him, hidden disbelief in his eyes, but didn't say anything. Instead, he lifted his bound hands and his broken wrist against his chest, and curled himself more tightly next to Arthur's side. They were both shaking from the cold.  
Arthur only wished they wouldn't freeze to death during the night. The temperature would drop more in the few next hours.

They were in deep, deep trouble. Arthur had absolute no idea how they could get away from it. He had no idea what this Dex and his men were waiting for and why. He knew that they were both in a bad shape, and the cold weather didn't help at all. Arthur was rarely scared, in true sense of the word - but in the cold night, fear started to cripple his heart.

They were quiet. Arthur listened to Merlin's troubled breaths, fighting the urge to wince every time. Arthur's head was still like on fire and he didn't even dare to touch the side of his head where the axe had scratched him. Minutes passed.

Rain fell onto them, every drop feeling like an icy needle. They both shivered heavily.

Merlin let his head fall against Arthur's shoulder.

Arthur turned to look at him. For a moment, he just stared at Merlin's dark, still wet hair. There was slowly some hoarfrost forming into it.

Then, without saying a word, he pulled Merlin carefully closer.

As the night darkened, their breaths turned into a chilly smoke.


	8. Chapter 8

Hello again!

So, the last chapter didn't have a cliffhanger, but they are in a deep mess. And since someone asked about this from the review - their hands are tied in their front, not in their back. Just to clarify that. :)

Also, many of you said that they're in deep trouble. Yes, I agree. Just let me know what you think about that after reading this chapter!

I've just watched the new episode (With all my heart) and I almost choked laughing because of Dolma. But I will not get into that, otherwise I'll be rambling here for the rest of the day.

So, here's chapter eight. It's not that action-packed, but the next one will be. I hope you like it anyway. Please review! :)

Story: In Deep Water (Chapter 8)  
by:** Niphrehdil**

* * *

The night seemed to last forever.

Arthur fell asleep from time to time, only be woken up by the rain, the coldness, his throbbing headache or Merlin's badly wheezing breaths.

Arthur's back ached for being in the same position for so long, but he didn't want to move. Any movement caused him to cringe in pain as his head was still reminding him of the massive blow it had gotten earlier. Also, Merlin was curled tightly to his side, head still pressed on Arthur's shoulder, and seemed to be sleeping.

Arthur didn't want to wake him up. A nagging worry had settled into the back of Arthur's head, and it couldn't be silenced. Merlin had already stirred awakes several time because of sudden coughing fits, that sounded like his lungs were being ripped out and that he could barely breathe. There wasn't much Arthur could do to help during them - he just sat there, keeping Merlin upright and making sure he got through them.

They didn't talk.

Some time in the middle of the night, their guards noticed they had woken up and moved around a little, but they didn't react. One of them ensured that their shackles were in place, but nothing more. Arthur watched them closely but they looked more or less bored while doing their job - they didn't strike Arthur particularly as evil or mean. They just doing as they were told. The real problem would be their leader, this Dex, who had stayed in the camp for the whole night, not bothering to check on his prisoners.

But now it wasn't the time to ponder on that. First they had to get through the night, and Arthur didn't have energy to think about anything else.

He was freezing. The damned rain just didn't stop. They were both still wet because of their jump into the river, and their clothes hadn't dried at all. Merlin's hair had some hoarfrost in it, and Arthur could feel his own were decorated with it too, alongside the dried blood in the left side of his head. They were both shivering.

They could very well freeze to death if the morning didn't come soon.

Arthur was worried. He was worried for their situation - he had absolutely no idea why this Dex had left them alive and what he was planning to do with them. He had no idea what had happened to his knights - had Leon, Percival and Gwaine managed to escape or not.  
Arthur also had no idea how could they get out this mess.

Arthur was worried for all of these things, but mainly he was worried about Merlin. Merlin was rather tiny, and Arthur was increasingly aware of it when Merlin kept shivering even more badly as the night went on. He was almost just skin and bones - Arthur had of course noticed it long before this and complained about it to Merlin, but of course that had been mostly waste of time. Merlin had just offered him a witty comment about it more than once. Right now those times seemed to be million years away.

Besides shivering badly, Merlin's breathing hadn't eased at all. Arthur cringed his teeth for hearing it. It sounded painful and raw, and the coughing fits that had struck Merlin had nearly left him breathless. It wasn't normal.

Arthur blamed himself. It was his fault that they had ended up in this mess. He had been the one wanting to go on a patrol. He had dragged Merlin with him - not like he hadn't come anyhow - and the knights, too. The ambush had been quick. Arthur knew he should have at least taken more men with him - four men against sixty wasn't a fair fight in any circumstances. And it had been his fault that Merlin had almost drowned.

He still felt sick for thinking about it. That moment would always haunt him, because it had come too close. Too close. It was a miracle that Merlin had pulled through it at all.

Arthur glanced at Merlin, who was heaving painful breaths, shivering badly. He looked so small and fragile, even if he was one of the bravest people Arthur had ever known. Merlin had this fire in him that drew people towards him like moths - Arthur didn't know how that even worked, but he knew it was there. People trusted Merlin easily and treated him well. And if they didn't, Merlin usually told them off. Arthur could very well remember the times that Merlin had called him an idiot and told how much of a prat he was being. It brought a small smile to his lips.  
Merlin had a gentle heart, but he wasn't soft. Arthur was time and time again amazed how fearless and unselfish Merlin could be. He never left Arthur's side. Even when he had been dethroned by Morgana, Merlin had been there with him.

That fire in Merlin burnt brightly, but there was something about it that Arthur had never been quite able to put his finger on.

In the quiet, damp forest, Arthur promised himself he would get them both out of this somehow. He had to.

Rain rattled to the forest floor.

Arthur let out a long breath, and it turned into blue smoke. He watched it disappear into the darkness. The faint light of the campfire shone through the trees. Most of the men were sleeping, there just few of them guarding the camp.

Arthur wondered if the people in Camelot had already sent search parties after them. If they had luck, Leon, Gwaine or Percival had made it back to Camelot and alerted them. Leon was the commander of the knights, so he had the biggest authority after Arthur. But if he hadn't returned for some reason, Percival or Gwaine could send others too. But nevertheless they wouldn't start searching until dawn.  
So if they managed to stay alive the following two days, the search parties should be able to find them. That was Arthur's guess. Two days didn't sound much, but considering their situation it didn't look too good.

Arthur fidgeted his bound hands. The rope around them was thick and raw, and it had made several bruises already. The knots were tight and he studied them for a moment, only to realize that he would need a knife to open them.  
With a wary glance, he looked down at Merlin who was slumped against him. Arthur remembered that Merlin's wrist had hit a rock during their fall, and it probably didn't do any good to have it tied like this. But there really wasn't anything that could be done about it.  
On a side note, Merlin's hair was tickling Arthur's neck, and he felt ridiculous thinking about it. After trying to ignore it for a long time, he finally had to lift his hands and brush it away. Merlin didn't even stir. Arthur leant back to the tree.

Minutes passed.

Arthur shot a dark look towards the camp. These men didn't have any sense of mercy or kindness - they were treated worse than dogs. Well, considering that Morgana was behind all of this explained a lot. Arthur didn't want to think about her - there was just too much to worry about in the moment.

Merlin shifted a little, and Arthur waited him to settle again. The rain felt icy, and Arthur had never hated it more.

He leant his head to the tree and closed his eyes. He listened to Merlin's breathing, trying to think everything that could get them out of this mess.

* * *

Merlin's dreams were restless.

He kept dreaming about water - there were flashes of dim sunlight shining through the surface, sharp rocks and the lack of air. The memory was uncomfortable and too familiar - he wasn't sure whether the memory was from the earlier day or from all those years ago.

Then Merlin dreamt of Morgana, seeing her face twisted in sick pleasure. Her cold heart shone through her eyes, the same heart that had once been so warm and righteous. Now all of her words were laced with venom and hatred. Then Merlin saw her gasping for air, betrayed look on her face, over and over again, dying from the poison that he had given to her. Even after so many years, he still kept having that nightmare. It just didn't let him go.

Merlin dreamt of burning at the stake. This was one of his worst recurring nightmares. He could see Arthur standing at the balcony, staring at him with cold eyes. Hundreds of faceless people staring at him, watching him, as he started to lit up in flames. He could smell his own burning flesh.

Then the dream changed. Merlin saw the axe hitting Arthur's head and heard a sick crunch. He saw Arthur dying, and dreams like these were still the worst of his nightmares. Always. Merlin could feel nausea taking over him. There was just so much blood.

He suddenly startled awake, drawing a quick breath. His lungs instantly flared up in pain and Merlin started coughing badly, Arthur taking a firm grip of him. Every cough rip his throat and Merlin feared it would start to close soon - his breathing whined and wheezed, and he felt dizzy for the lack of air. He kept coughing and coughing, every one of them feeling like torture.

It felt like forever. But then he finally managed to get the air flow in and out without serious trouble, exhausted. When Merlin finally opened his eyes, the dark forest surrounded him. The rain hadn't stopped and Arthur was partly covered in hoarfrost, their breathing turning into blue smoke.

Arthur was looking at him, worry hidden in his features.

-Did it pass?" Arthur asked quietly.

Merlin just nodded. He was so tired. He couldn't stop shivering. Arthur bit his lip and was quiet for a while. -You were sleeping. What were you dreaming about?"

Merlin lowered his eyes, a familiar ache in his chest that always appeared when he had to lie. -Nothing." he said, voice hoarse and almost unrecognizable.

Arthur sighed. -Alright." he said, sounding a little disappointed. This was one of the moments when Arthur knew Merlin was keeping something from him and felt slightly hurt. Merlin felt a sting of guilt, but he kept quiet anyway. He knew Arthur was blaming himself because of what had happened in the river, so telling him about his nightmares about drowning - or the other ones - didn't even cross his mind.  
These moments were a bothering reminder that there were secrets between them that were holding them both back.

Merlin shifted a little, shivers going through him once again. It was just so _cold_. He felt unreal, like he wasn't really here, like he was still dreaming. Everything was muddled and blear. He hadn't even noticed before, but now when he had woken up, he felt dizzy and cold and...distant, somehow. His mucles were aching. He thought it was probably because he had been lying in the same position for so long.

Angry shivers went through him again. Merlin tried to stop them, but couldn't. Arthur was shivering, too, but much less alarmingly. He was studying Merlin. Merlin just blinked, trying to get his head together. He fought the urge to just slump back against Arthur and give in to the exhaustion.

-Something is wrong with you." Arthur suddenly said with a tensed voice. Merlin looked up, but surprised how long it took to make his muscles work and fix his eyes on Arthur. And he was so tired. And so cold.

-C-cold." Merlin stuttered, like it wasn't obvious. Arthur searched his face, swallowing. -Yes, I know that, Merlin. It's cold in here and our clothes are still wet. But your breathing shouldn't sound like that." Guilt crossed his face. -And it's not just because of the water...it's something else."

Merlin just stared at him, feeling light-headed. He avoided talking as much as he could, so he just lifted an eyebrow. Briefly he wondered if he could use magic to warm himself up a bit, or even them both, but it would be hard to without Arthur noticing. Besides, Merlin wasn't sure whether the shackles would react to magic in general, and tighten if he tried anything. The thought that they could block all of his magic was something he didn't want to consider right now.  
There was also the fact that he really shouldn't ever use magic on himself. It didn't usually work - he seemed to be miserable with healing spells, enchantments and everything alike. He had almost managed to get himself killed just earlier that same day by using a spell to block the lack of air while starting to drown.

Merlin concluded that using magic right now was too risky. He just might make things worse.

So he just kept breathing in and out, tired and a little out of it. All of his movements were slow and dull, and there was something unnerving in that. Arthur seemed restless. Even Merlin could feel it through his muddled thoughts.

-Merlin, look at me." Arthur suddenly said with an intense voice. Merlin obeyed, searching for Arthur's eyes. There was worry and fear in the king's eyes. He locked eyes with Merlin and his expression changed into more serious. Without a word, he pulled Merlin closer.

-There's something wrong with your eyes."

Sharp panic stung Merlin and he almost forgot to breathe - surely his eyes weren't glowing? They shouldn't be. He was aware that they looked golden when he was doing magic and it flowed through him, but they shouldn't be doing it now. Merlin looked away and panted for a while, almost spiraling back to another coughing fit. Fortunately he didn't. Instead, he was left heaving and shivering, and Arthur waited in silence. Then after a moment, Merlin forced himself to turn back to him. His world tilted in an odd way.

Arthur didn't look furious. He didn't look shaken or surprised, just very worried. Merlin dared to look him into the eyes again, and tiredly gave a questioning look.

Arthur shook his head. -There's definitely something." he mumbled. Then he leant forward, and Merlin almost fell backwards for the sudden movement, to his own surprise. Arthur caught him and pulled him back. Merlin's world was suddenly spinning slightly and he felt disoriented.

He gasped as carefully as he could, blinking hard. Merlin could feel his magic shifting inside him nervously, as if it knew something was wrong.

-Something's wrong with you." Arthur repeated with an intense voice. Their faces were really close to each other, their breathing mixing into a blue smoke that danced in the air between them. Merlin's thoughts started to wander - he really couldn't focus on anything. Distantly he realized that Arthur was right - there was something wrong with him. Only thing Merlin could spot that he was freezing. Truly freezing, his teeth chattering slightly together.

Arthur studied his face and shook him carefully, but it turned Merlin's eyesight blurry and narrow - the forest seemed to bulge in his eyes and then turn back into normal again. There was definitely something wrong with him. Merlin tried to focus on breathing. Arthur was so close to him but nevertheless he had a lot of trouble fixing his attention to him.

-Merlin?"

Merlin felt like he wasn't awake at all. It was like he was somewhere between dream and reality, floating in nothingness, just like in the water before, bubbles dancing and currents flowing...

-Merlin!"

Merlin blinked and tried to find Arthur once again - he sounded so demanding. Merlin blinked again and then he managed to fix his eyes on Arthur. And it almost startled him how scared Arthur looked. His face was full of concentration and worry. So much worry. Arthur rarely worried about anything this openly. It was as if there was actually something to worry about so badly. It was just like that one time when...

-Merlin, look at me." Arthur said, pronouncing every letter clearly. -Focus."

Merlin did. Or at least tried. Arthur's breathing felt hot on his skin, and it just reminded Merlin how cold he was. He shivered again.

Arthur looked even more worried. -What is it? You weren't like this before. Is it because of the cold or..."

Merlin's head felt suddenly very heavy. He tried to hold it up but he was just too cold and tired. He tried to focus for Arthur's sake, because he was so worried that it was touching, but the blue smoke that was their breathing made him feel messy and dizzy that he couldn't help himself suddenly falling forward a little. Arthur gasped for surprise and caught him, although quite slowly because of their tied hands.

When Merlin's head collided with Arthur's chest and the chain mail, he winced and let out a moan - that just might leave a mark. And he really didn't want any permanent scars into his forehead that looked like Arthur's chain mail. It would look ridiculous.  
Arthur cursed quietly and struggled to lift Merlin back to sit.

Just by chance his fingers brushed Merlin's cheek. Merlin only noticed it because they felt absolutely freezing on his skin and he pulled away instantly. Arthur, however, had completely frozen.

With a lot of effort, Merlin lifted his head up again.

Even in his blurry and disoriented state, he could see the change in Arthur's face. If he had looked scared before, he now looked horrified.

-You're burning up." Arthur whispered.

-What?" Merlin asked with a hoarse voice that didn't sound anything like his own. He sensed the change of atmosphere. It had turned even more grim it had been before. The rain was the only sound for a moment.

Then, Arthur looked at him, hidden despair in his face. He swallowed. -You're burning up, Merlin. You have a fever."

Merlin just stared at him, and it took a moment to sink in. -Oh." he just breathed out.

He sensed the mute horror radiating from Arthur.

This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all. But everything made suddenly a lot more sense - for example why he was feeling so out of it. Merlin waited for Arthur to say something, but he didn't. Instead, he stared at Merlin with wide eyes, colour draining from his face. He looked so...not-Arthur. He looked scared, and worried, and even despaired - three things he rarely was at the same time and even more rarely showed it.

Arthur lifted his hands again, pressing them carefully to Merlin's forehead. They felt chilly against it, but Merlin leant against them. He felt exhausted. He could hear Arthur was cursing again.

Merlin shivered badly.

Then he suddenly had trouble breathing, and he started coughing, every cough ripping through his lungs and throat like burning knives. He doubled over and everything turned into a painful mess without any track of time.

* * *

Arthur was frozen.

This just couldn't be happening.

As he sat there, keeping Merlin upright as he was having another violent coughing fit, he cursed furiously their damned patrol and their extremely bad luck. He cursed Dex and his men, Morgana, the damned river. Most of all, he blamed himself even more badly than before.

Merlin was burning up. His skin was clammy and hot, and his eyes were glassy. That had been the first thing Arthur had noticed - Merlin's eyes - usually so sharp and bright pair of deep blue - now sluggish and blear. Merlin's gaze had went here and there, like he couldn't fix it properly anywhere. Arthur wasn't sure if Merlin had just fainted for a moment when he had hit his head softly to his chain mail - and before that, he had almost fallen backwards when Arthur had moved just a bit. His reflexes and senses were dull and slow, too slow. Merlin was clumsy, yes, but not nearly like this.

He had a high fever.

As if their situation wasn't bad enough already. Merlin looked sick and most of all - he _sounded_ very sick. Arthur bit his lip, hating every second that Merlin spent coughing. It was without a doubt painful, and there was nothing he could do to help.

They were both soaking wet. The rain hadn't stopped. They were both freezing, and tied up, imprisoned in the enemy's hands. Arthur had almost gotten his head bashed in and he had a half of an arrow in his leg - which would soon or later start an infection if it wasn't taken out and the wound cleaned. Merlin had almost drowned and his lungs sounded like they were slowly giving in - not to mention his wrist was very likely broken and they were both at risk to die from the cold before the dawn.

Arthur had tried to resist falling into despair, but his grip was slipping.

He was scared. He didn't even try to deny it. Their situation was far too serious and dangerous for that. They wouldn't be able to escape. Even if they somehow managed to free themselves from the shackles and the ropes and leave unnoticed from these men, Arthur knew he wouldn't be able to walk properly. He would be limping more or less, and his head wound could cause trouble. Merlin wasn't in any shape nor to walk or run. He could barely breathe properly while sitting down, and making him stand or walk wouldn't be an option.  
Arthur could carry him otherwise, but not with his leg being like this. They also hadn't eaten anything in almost a day - not to mention drinking water. Or the freezing cold weather and their wet clothes that hadn't dried a bit.

Calling their situation bad was an incredulous underestimation.

Arthur had already thought about any possible escape plan - and they had already backfired in his head. If Merlin was really getting a fever, Arthur could forget even the most dysfunctional plans. He wouldn't leave Merlin. He didn't even consider it. No matter what would happen, they would be in it together.

Merlin's coughing fit lasted even longer than before. Arthur just sat there, face twisting, empathic lump in his throat. Their guards were throwing nasty looks in their way. Arthur's only consolation was the thought of killing them and everyone else in the camp. He usually considered carefully before taking unnecessary human lives, but right now he felt murderous. He could rip them all apart with his bare hands if he had the chance.

He just wanted out. He wanted to get back to Camelot. Home. He wanted to get Merlin to Gaius as quickly as possible. He wanted to get Merlin out of here.  
He wanted them both out of here right now but there wasn't anything he could do. And this feeling of powerless was almost paralyzing. He wasn't used to being someone who couldn't make a difference.

Merlin kept coughing and coughing. His breathing whined so badly that Arthur felt fear lurking at the back of his mind - what if Merlin wasn't just getting a fever, but something worse? What if he was getting...what was it that Gaius had called it? He couldn't remember the name of it, but Arthur had gotten it once when he had been younger. It had been a cold that had gone into his lungs. But surely Merlin couldn't have that?

The worst part of it was the fact that he could. Arthur squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, almost wanting to pray that it didn't happen. It could be fatal. It could very well take Merlin's life. And Arthur couldn't let it, not after what he had gotten through today.

Merlin still didn't stop coughing. It just seemed to get worse. In agony, Arthur listened to every troubled breath Merlin was drawing, but they sounded shallow. It was almost like Merlin could barely get air in.

A horrifying feeling hit Arthur, just when Merlin was suddenly left breathless, just heaving and swaying in place. He struggled to breathe.

-...rthur." Merlin gasped out. -C-can't b-breathe."

Panic started to rise and Arthur felt helpless, quickly trying to figure out what he could do. Merlin drew air in, but Arthur could see from the alarmingly small amount of the blue smoke floating in the air that he was barely getting any.

With a hasty movement, Arthur pressed Merlin to his back, against the wet ground, and turned to his side. He had no idea if it helped at all, but anything was better than the current situation. For his relief, Merlin whimpered and managed to breath in again, and his coughs finally starting to die down. Arthur was on full alert for a long time, but Merlin just kept breathing in and out. Arthur almost welcomed back the loud and disgusting sound of it. It was better than the sudden silence.

For a long time, they stayed that way. Arthur tried to make the lump in his throat to go away, but it didn't.

-Merlin." he called quietly. Merlin just blinked. He looked exhausted. Rain was hitting his face, rolling down his cheeks. He was pale, looking ghostly in the dark forest.

Arthur knew he couldn't let Merlin stay there - he would freeze to death. But he couldn't make Merlin sit either, because it seemed to make it almost impossible for Merlin to breath at all. After thinking about it for a while, Arthur just sighed.

-Alright. You can't sit upright but I can't leave you there to freeze, so we'll just have to do it like this."

Then he pulled Merlin carefully closer. As ridiculous as it would have felt in any other situation, Arthur didn't have the luxury to worry about anything else than to keep Merlin breathing. He lifted Merlin so he was close as possible to him. Merlin leant his head to Arthur's right thigh, so he more or less lying on his lap.

Merlin's breaths came easier. Arthur noted it with relief, as he watched Merlin's breaths turn into smoke again. Merlin glanced at him, but his eyes were feverish and he looked like he could pass out any second. He clearly wanted to say something.

-Don't talk. Just...try to get some rest." Arthur whispered, not able to cover his voice shaking a bit.

Merlin's eyelids slid closed.

Arthur didn't like the fact that the rest of Merlin was sprawled on the ground. They wouldn't be able to share as much as body heat than before, and Arthur could feel himself shivering already, not to mention Merlin. But it was all secondary. Merlin's breathing was more important than that. The lack of air could kill a lot more faster than the cold air.

Arthur felt too hopeless to even think about how ridiculous they must have looked like. He didn't spare a thought to that. Instead, he once again leant his head against the tree, ignoring his own throbbing headache and just watched as Merlin's breaths turned into blue smoke and slowly disappeared into the night air. He didn't close his eyes anymore, because he didn't risk himself to fall asleep. He had to stay awake and make sure Merlin was alright. Keep him breathing. Keep him somehow warm.

Keep him alive.

Merlin shivered. Arthur stared straight ahead, in blind rage, furious at fate and Morgana and himself. He had been this angry only a few times in his life. And this scared.

In the quiet forest, Arthur started to wonder if there was even a small chance they could get out of this alive.


	9. Chapter 9

Hi again.

I should be studying. I should be doing dozens of things but here I am, updating again. I should really think about my priorities... :D

Jokes aside, I'm actually very busy. I have so many deadlines coming on that I don't know how I'm going to get everything done. So if you enjoy reading this fic and think it's worth writing for, and want me to maintain the current updating pace, please give me a review. I'm just feeling so tired that sometimes I feel the reviews are the only thing keeping my enthusiasm up and running. Thank you. :)

Alright. But let's get into it, then.

Story: In Deep Water (Chapter 10)  
by:** Niphrehdil**

* * *

As the dawn finally started to spread its light on the forest, Arthur hadn't slept in hours.

He was still freezing. His head was still like on fire - and there was a nauseous feeling in his stomach. He didn't know was it because of the probable concussion, the lack of food or the worry.

Merlin had been out for the most of the night. And when he had stirred awake from time to time, he had coughed violently, and every time Arthur had feared for his life. Fortunately they had all passed. They left Merlin exhausted and disoriented, and his breathing still sounded like his lungs could give in any moment now. Arthur didn't dare to move him at all, so Merlin spent the night lying on his back, head in Arthur's lap.

Most of the time Arthur couldn't tell whether Merlin was asleep or unconscious, and when he was awake, his eyes were sluggish and everything in him indicated a high fever. Arthur could feel heat radiating from him, and as much he graved for any kind of warmth, the agonizing awareness of Merlin's worsening condition made him feel angry. They were both shivering all the time, Merlin so badly that Arthur had to cringe his teeth for seeing and feeling it.

Once or twice Merlin had opened his eyes and stared at the sky. Rain had made him flicker his eyes but Arthur avoided asking anything, because Merlin really shouldn't be talking any more than necessary. Merlin had also glanced at Arthur, but the familiar sharpness of those eyes were lost. Arthur wasn't completely sure Merlin even recognized him, or knew where they were - that's how feverish he was.

When the light of the morning started to increase, the damned rain finally stopped. Arthur was relieved, but also very aware that the rain had already done the damage. But at least they had made it through the night.

The men in the camp were also waking up, moving around and doing chores. Arthur was too tired to watch them. He didn't want to admit to himself, but he was getting weaker. He could feel his leg starting to become more and more pained. The rest of the broken arrow was still in the wound. Merlin could have probably pulled it out and done something about the quickly forming infection, but he was in no shape to do anything but breathe.

Arthur didn't think about losing Merlin. He didn't give it a chance. He kept his mind strictly planning their escape. He refused to give into despair, as grim as their situation looked like. Merlin was still breathing. Feverish and very much out of it, but alive. They were both alive. If they tried to hurt Merlin, they would have to get through Arthur first.

Arthur tried to pull his hands away from the ropes, but he only ended up causing bruises to his skin and feeling even more frustrated than ever. He almost felt like pounding his head to the tree they were shackled into.

He wasn't able to sleep. He was afraid that something would happen if he did. Fortunately he could rest his eyes, because Merlin's breathing was still loud and wheezy, so Arthur noticed instantly if it came to a sudden halt or got troubled.

There had been those moments too. A sudden silence from Merlin had almost made Arthur's hear stop for a few times - once during the night, Merlin was left completely breathless. Arthur was afraid that his throat was starting to close. If that happened, Arthur would be powerless. And he couldn't let this go that far. There just wasn't much he could do.

Arthur thought about his knights. He thought about Gwen. He thought about his own chambers and his own, nice bed. He thought of home and Merlin being back to his own self, coming in without knocking and waking him up every morning, saying the most ridiculous things. He thought of the quiet moments when Merlin was about to leave for the night, and Arthur asked him to stay for a while. And Merlin always did. No matter how tired he looked or how long day it had been, he always stayed.

Arthur thought of these moments, so normal and mundane, but now more precious to him than ever.

It almost struck him odd that he didn't spare a second's thought to his council members or the people of Camelot. In the moment of hopelessness, Arthur only thought of the few people closest to him. One of them was right here with him, as always, but the few that were back in Camelot felt so distant. Arthur briefly wondered how many of them truly cared about him, not as a king but as a person. He wondered if he was just a duty, someone so high-born that he always counted, someone who needed to be saved.

If he wasn't a king, would they be still searching for him?

Arthur sometimes wondered what it was like to be a commoner. What it would have been like to grow in the countryside like Merlin, or in a buzzing city like Gwen. Gwaine was high-born, but he didn't like people reminding him about it. He couldn't care less about statuses and family trees.  
Arthur had wondered what Percival's life had been like before, when he hadn't been knighted. Or Lancelot's. Or Elyan's.

A grim shadow passed his face for thinking about them. He wouldn't have the chance to ask.

But he did wonder. He had always been the king's son, the future ruler of Camelot. He had never been ordinary or faceless. Being royal had defined his whole life. Yet the closest people to him weren't high-born. How could he ever know if they had shown such devotion and loyalty to him if he wasn't?

But then Arthur glanced at Merlin and all of his doubts faded. Merlin had made very clear that he didn't care about Arthur's status at all. Sometimes Arthur actually wondered if Merlin had forgotten the whole thing. They were together all the time, everyday, that it had become so normal to Arthur. He didn't really think about it. But when they had royal visitors, Merlin's familiarity with him made people bulge their eyes, raise their eyebrows or even nearly choke to their food.  
It was the moments when Arthur actually remembered that Merlin didn't act like a servant. Not at all.

But there were also times when Arthur watched their visitors' servants. They hung their heads, stared at the floor, bowed all the time, spoke extremely politely, addressed their masters with their proper titles, kept apologizing all the time and worked like dogs. All they got in return was just grunts and complaints or muffled insults.  
Arthur had a hard time enjoying the feasts when he couldn't stop staring at those servants. He appreciated good servants, of course he did, but he hated seeing them treated worse than dogs. Some kings and lords even hit them when they did something wrong. Arthur had almost compromised a peace treaty when he had stepped in between during one of those moments. Lord James had hit his small, young serving boy with the hilt of a knife several times. Arthur was just shocked by the whole thing and had gotten in between.

Arthur didn't want bootlickers. He also couldn't stand frightened servants that looked like startled deers all the time. He just wanted Merlin.

As annoying as Merlin could be and drove Arthur to the walls from time to time, Arthur couldn't for the life of him even consider sacking him or forcing him to act like a proper servant. Merlin did what he wanted, even when Arthur told him otherwise. Merlin had actually said to him once that '_even if you're a king, it doesn't give you the right to act like a brainless fool, Arthur. _' Arthur was certain that had been one of the most honest comments he had ever gotten, and also one of the most useful ones.

Now the memory made him chuckle, but back then he hadn't been laughing at all. Merlin just couldn't shut up sometimes.

Arthur's smile faded when he glanced at Merlin now. He was shivering, eyes closed and looking even worse now that the light started to increase. Arthur had seen him look this sick only two or three times before.

Arthur squeezed his eyes shut and slumped against the tree. He knew their time was running out.

* * *

Hours passed.

Arthur couldn't really keep track of the time, because the time seemed to crawl. But somewhere close to mid-day, Arthur suddenly heard someone coming towards them. Arthur stirred and was now fully on alert, stiffening and straightening his back. Merlin let out a muffled sound but didn't open his eyes.

Dex was walking towards them. Anger instantly flared up in Arthur, and he glared at the man coming closer, followed by four other men.

-Good morning, Pendragon." Dex said with a sly smile. -I see you didn't lose your mind even if you almost lost your head."  
Arthur didn't answer, just stared at him with murderous eyes.

Dex's eyes fell to Merlin. He let out a deep laugh. -Was I right when I thought you two are in love? Because it seems pretty intimate to me."

When Arthur still didn't answer, Dex's face fell. -Have you lost your ability to talk? Maybe I hit you too hard with that axe of mine."

Finally, Arthur drew a deep breath, trying to keep himself calm. -We had an agreement." he said with a low voice.

Dex rolled his eyes and spread his arms. -What is with you Pendragons, always so strict about promises and deals? Ordinary people like me don't have the luxury of those. Me and my men are free to do what we want."

-To murder, rob and hurt people?" Arthur spat back. He eyed the bandit leader with despising eyes.

Dex shook his head. -You don't have any sense of humour, do you?" He sighed and eyed Merlin again.  
-He sounds like his lungs were removed." Dex said, tilting his head, looking curious. He stepped closer to Merlin. Arthur stiffened instinctively, pulling Merlin protectively closer.

-Touch him and you'll die." Arthur hissed. He tried furiously to stop himself shivering and showing any kind of weakness to his enemies. In a fleeting moment, he realized that he felt an urge to rip the man apart with his bare hands. If they tried to hurt Merlin, he just might try. He gritted his teeth in rage.

-Oh." Dex said mockingly, pretending to be shocked. -What are you going to do about it, then? As far as I can see, you are my prisoner - bound, shackled and not looking so pretty."

Arthur stayed quiet, not sure if he was shaking because of the cold or the rage. He also knew that he couldn't really threaten these men. He had absolute nothing to threaten them with. He was entirely in their hands. Arthur breathed out quickly, thinking fast. There wasn't really anything he could say or do to make things worse than they already were.  
-What do you want from me? If you wanted me dead, you could have done it already." he said, challenging.

Dex nodded. -True. But there has been a change of plans."

Arthur furrowed his brows in confusion. -What kind of change of plans?"

Dex eyed him, like trying to decide whether to tell him or not, but then he let out a satisfied smile. -Like I said, you Pendragons put too much trust in promises. Morgana offered me money and weapons for the exhange of your life, but I don't think that's enough. I want more, much more. She wants you dead more than anything. And now I, Dex, have you here in my camp, shackled down like a dog. I think have something called leverage here."

Arthur looked at him, incredulous. He couldn't believe his ears. -Do you seriously think Morgana will start to bargain with _you_? You're nothing but a bunch of outlaws, murderers, thieves and bandits. She is a sorceress and a High Priestess, and you are much more stupid than I thought if you think you have even a chance against her."

To Arthur's surprise, there wasn't even a flash of hesitation in Dex's face. Not a crack of fear. Arthur didn't know if the man was just crazy or arrogant enough to think that Morgana couldn't beat him.

Instead, a wide smile spread to Dex's lips. There was an odd, sick glow in his eyes. -Yes, well that's where your servant steps in."

For all the things he could have said, this was the last thing Arthur expected. He fell a sting of fear and confusion, quickly covering it. He couldn't figure out anything that they could use Merlin for. He let out an exaggerated breath.  
-That's ridiculous. Morgana doesn't care about anything besides killing me."

There was something unnerving in Dex's face and the grin on his face. Arthur felt fear starting to form knots to stomach. There was something deeply bothering in the cold calmness of these bandits and their leader. Arthur stared at Dex with harsh eyes, trying not to show any of his emotions, ignoring his own doubts.

-That's what I'm counting on." Dex said. -Morgana will come after us. I know she will. She will probably be here before nightfall. It won't take her long to realize we haven't kept our end of the bargain. That's exactly what we want. She has to come here. But Morgana is a sorceress, just like you said. Swords are useless against her magic; sorcery can only be fought with sorcery. We had no intention to trick her before, but then came a gift from the heavens - we just happened to catch a powerful sorcerer."

Arthur just stared at Dex blankly, confused. He glanced at the camp behind him, wondering why he hadn't seen any other prisoners besides him and Merlin. If they truly had caught a sorcerer, where were they keeping him?

Arthur tilted his head a little, locking his eyes to Dex. -So your plan is to force the sorcerer to fight for you?"

Dex sighed with satisfaction. -Yes. It's almost too good to be true."

Arthur huffed, rolling his eyes. -And what makes you think he will do anything for you? If you have imprisoned him, I don't think he will be quite willing to do anything but kill you or escape."

Dex just kept smiling his unnerving grin. -Not if we make him choose between keeping you alive or fighting for us."

-_Me_?" Arthur asked, incredulous. Now he almost felt like laughing aloud. He fidgeted his hands and studied the bandit leader. -Why would any sorcerer would want to save my life? I'm the king of Camelot as you well know. Sorcery is outlawed."

Dex lifted an eyebrow. For the first time, he looked slightly confused. His eyes shifted from Arthur to Merlin and then back again.

There was a heavy silence for a moment, Arthur trying to think quickly. But he couldn't for the life of him understand why this Dex thought his plan would work. Or what it could possibly have to do with Merlin. It just didn't click.  
Dex leant closer, scanning his face, like trying to find something. Arthur knew his confusion was shining from his face, he didn't even try to hide it. He just shook his head, looking at the bandits with slight pity.

-Your plan will not work." Arthur said. -No sorcerer would ever fight for my life. Those who practise magic are evil and only seek to destroy."

Dex looked even more confused, shaking his head. -Aren't you a two-faced liar?" he said with venom. -It's useless to try and deny any of it. He already tried to save you." he said, staring Arthur intently.

Arthur just gaped at him. When had this sorcerer tried to save him? He had even seen him at all! Arthur couldn't have been any more confused.

-At the river." Dex said meaningly. -He almost sent me and half of my men flying all the way to Mercia. He made the ground shake, all very impressive. We could all feel it. Never felt anything as powerful in my whole life. He can fight against Morgana, I have no doubt in that."

Arthur sighed. -You're wasting your time. Like I said, no sorcerer would ever fight for me."

Dex's eyes slid to Merlin. Arthur furrowed a brow, followed his every moment, his mind blank. Then the bandit leader looked at him again, now looking despising.

-You are the worst liar I've met in my whole life, Arthur Pendragon. And two-faced. I thought Morgana had some questionable morals, but you are far worse than her. You slaughter people for using magic and yet you harbour a sorcerer?"

Arthur's eyes widened. He couldn't understand a word Dex was saying. It was like he was speaking a whole another language. Nothing made sense.

Dex just shook his head, clearly getting upset. -You are a horrible king, just as much as tyrant like Uther was. You Pendragons are just a bunch of liars and betrayers. You all deserve to die. You act like you're better than us, but you're even worse. You even reminded me of your so-called high principles back at the river! I was right not to trust your stupid bargain. I hope that someday you and your puny sister kill each other so we the era of Pendragons would finally end."

Arthur just stared at him, stunned and speechless. Dex _had_ to be insane. And paranoid. There wasn't any other explanation.

-You are insane." Arthur breathed out.

Dex shook his head, and his face hardened. -If your sorcerer cares about you even half as much as you seem to care about him, I have no doubts in my plan." Then Dex turned on his heels, starting to walk away.

Arthur just let out a nervous laugh. Dex was not making any sense. His plan was so flimsy that it would never work.  
-You are delirious." Arthur shouted at him. - I haven't even met this sorcerer!"

Dex froze. For a long moment, he just kept still, his back towards Arthur. Arthur could feel his heart pounding in his ears, confusion making his thoughts messy. He waited in growing bad feeling what Dex would do.

Then suddenly, Dex started to laugh. It was a laugh that quickly turned into a barking, mocking laugh. It got louder and meaner. Arthur furrowed his brows. The man had clearly lost his mind.

Dex turned around slowly, eyeing Arthur from across the distance. Wind moved quietly in the trees above them, making Arthur shiver. Dex wore a grin that almost looked sadistic.

-You don't know?" Dex asked, sounding disbelieving. Arthur stayed quiet.

Dex laughed again. -Oh, this is almost _too good._ Much better than I thought." He threw his head back and laughed again. He pointed at Arthur, still laughing. -He doesn't know." he told one of his bandits.

Arthur just stared at him in deep confusion, not really knowing whether he should be amused or afraid. He didn't know _what_?

-Delicious. Truly delicious." Dex finally said. For some reason, he fixed eyes on Merlin. Then he looked back at Arthur.

-Your _servant_. The man you were ready to die for, cradled in your arms like the most precious thing you know, is our sorcerer."

He laughed again, but suddenly Arthur couldn't hear it anymore. All of sounds and voices were suddenly muffled. Dex's laugh echoed in the forest, falling to the ears of his own bandits. Long after it had faded away, Arthur was still staring straight ahead of him with cloudy eyes, seeing nothing.

* * *

Merlin didn't know whether he was dreaming or not.

Most of the time he couldn't form any coherent thoughts or even remember where he was or what had happened. He just felt cold.  
It was just so _cold_, all the time.

He had nightmares. He dreamt the same dreams again. He struggled to breathe, that much he was aware of. There were times that he suddenly couldn't get any air in at all, but fortunately they passed. Merlin spent the day somewhere between the lines of reality and sleep, his high fever making him light-headed and disoriented.

Then for a small, sober moment Merlin could remember the situation he was in. He remembered the bandits and getting caught. He knew he had to be still in the forest, but he didn't have the strength to open his eyes. They weighed like lead. He knew they were doomed. They wouldn't be able to escape without his magic, and even they could, he was in no shape to use it. All of his magic was trying to bring the fever down, to ease his breathing, but the odds weren't in his favour. The weather was chilly and their clothes still damp.

Merlin heard distant voices, realizing that there were people talking somewhere around him. He couldn't make out any of the sounds. He was too deeply in the fever's claws, and even if the tried to get away, he couldn't.

Arthur was taking care of him. Merlin knew he was. Arthur wouldn't let anything happen to him - but that wasn't what Merlin was worried about. He worried more about himself being unable to help if anything bad happened. Merlin was powerless, he couldn't probably even sit up on his own.

As feverish dreams took him back again, Merlin only prayed that they would be safe for now.

* * *

The whole day, Arthur was unmoving. The bandits didn't try to talk to him or even approach him. Even if they did, Arthur wouldn't have noticed. He was in a trance-like state.

Hours and hours later, when the day was slowly turning into a night again, the men became more and more restless. Morgana would be there soon, and everyone of them was afraid of her. None of them were stupid enough to think that she would let them off the hook easily. Many of them would have liked to protest against the whole blackmailing plan, but they feared their leader far too much to open their mouths. The atmosphere was restless.

But none of them were ready for the sudden attack that hit them just before the twilight settled in. In just a blink of an eye, the air was filled with swirling arrows and painful screams. Then swords were drawn, and the camp was catapulted into chaos. Everything happened in mere seconds - there was smoke, cries, and panic. Dex tried to shout orders but they were drowned under the sounds of the fight and dying men. Red-cloaked men were running from between the trees, striking the bandits down one by one.

In the middle of the chaos, Sir Leon ran next to the big tree and crouched beside his king.

-Sire?" he whispered into the cold night.

But Arthur was transfixed. His eyes were empty, his face blank, and he was staring numbly straight ahead. Leon wasn't sure if Arthur had even noticed that the camp had been attacked.

-Sire, are you alright?"

Arthur didn't answer. Slowly he turned to look at Leon like he didn't understand what was happening. He looked catatonic. Leon looked at him, uncertain. He could see the massive amount of dried blood on the king's head and shoulder, but it didn't look fresh. It couldn't be the reason for Arthur's odd behaviour.

-Sire, we've come to save you. We are outnumbered so we have to hurry. Morgana could be here any minute now."

Arthur's eyes were empty.

Without saying anything else, Leon swallowed and took a knife, cutting the ropes from Arthur's hands. Then he took an axe and started to hit the chains with them. The sound of it seemed too loud but it was drowned under the sounds of the battle and a fire that was spreading to the trees next to the campfire.

There was smoke and the situation was quickly swirling out of their hands. Camelot's men had a surprise attack as an advantage, but it wouldn't last for long. Their main goal was to free their king, not to wipe out the bandits.

When Leon finally managed to break the chains, he pulled Arthur up. Arthur's leg almost gave in but Leon steadied him. -Can you walk, Sire?" he shouted over the noise but didn't get a response. Arthur seemed like he didn't hear anything.

Leon was starting to become very worried. Fortunately it was the moment when Percival joined them. Percival didn't ask any questions. Instead, he knelt down and picked Merlin up from the ground, more or less shoved him to Leon's arms and then put Arthur's arm around his own shoulders and started to lead the king away from the camp, dragging him forward. Leon quickly recovered from this and followed them, Merlin still in his arms.

They ran as fast as they could, but with Arthur limping badly they weren't fast enough. Soon there were bandits running after them, some of them already sending arrows in their way. They weren't close enough but there were more of them gathering together, clearly about to chase them. -Percival! We need to hold them back!" Leon shouted.

Percival nodded and tried to catch his breath. Leon lowered Merlin hastily to the ground and drew his sword. Arthur looked at them, and then to the direction the bandit camp was. Suddenly there was some life in his eyes now, like he was slowly making up from some kind of trance.

Leon looked frantically around. -Sire, we will hold them back. We will hold them back as long as we can. But you need to run."

Arthur just shook his head, mumbling something. He couldn't get coherent sentences out. Smoke was slowly starting to surround them - the fire was spreading out.

The yells of the bandits were getting closer now, and Percival was getting anxious. -Sire, you need to run, as far as you can. Don't look back. We will search you out again."

Arthur looked at him, then Leon. The knights quickly glanced at each other. Percival stepped further and shook Arthur by the shoulder. -Sire!" he called. Fortunately the gesture put some action back into their king. Arthur blinked heavily and took a deep breath. -Alright." he said with a hoarse voice.

-Alright." he repeated.

The knights looked relieved to get a reply. Percival let go of him and stepped back. Arthur shook his head, obviously trying to clear out his thoughts. Then he hesitantly looked down on Merlin.

Leon swallowed. -Leave us all behind, Arthur. We will only slow you down. You are wounded and our rescue party is outnumbered. We will bring Merlin with us."

There was an odd look on Arthur's face. He was quiet for a moment, the shouts and the sound of the fire rattling in the background. Leon and Percival could barely recognize their king. But then Arthur's face changed and there was some familiar determination forming into his face. He looked up to his knights, and suddenly the most of the hollow emptiness was gone from his eyes. It was like a sudden click.

-No. I'll take him with me." Arthur said, his voice suddenly filled with authority. He gave a serious look to the knights. -Distract the bandits and then scatter out. Be careful, Morgana might be near. Search for us somewhere near from the eastern border. Do you understand?"

Percival and Leon nodded. Arthur gave them a reassuring nod and then the knights were already on their way, running to the opposite direction, trying to mislead the bandits.

With a grim determination, Arthur bit his lip as his leg protested every movement, and turned around. He looked at Merlin.

Merlin was unconscious and deathly pale. There was sweat on his forehead, a reminder that he was still having a high fever. He was struggling to breathe, and his hands were still bound. If the bandits didn't get to him, then the fever would.

Arthur could leave him there.

Arthur could leave him and no one would ever know.

Frankly, he didn't even consider it. And no matter how much his leg hurt, he crouched down and lifted Merlin slowly up from the ground.

Screams, smoke and arrows filling the dim air around him, Arthur shakily turned around and prayed they would make it out alive.


	10. Chapter 10

Hey!

I can't thank you enough for the heart-warming reviews I got! :) Despite my tight schedules, here I am, updating again. I really hope this chapter was worth the slightly longer wait and that you like it.

Merlin episodes are starting to run out soon...I feel sad already. But let's not think about that yet.

Instead, let's get into the story. Please drop me a review and tell me what you think! :)

Story: In Deep Water  
by:** Niphrehdil**

* * *

Arthur couldn't get far.

If he had been alone, he might have made it further, but limping with his injured leg and struggling to carry Merlin took everything out of him. The lack of food, water and sleep had partly drained him already. But the forest around him was squirming with deadly bandits and possibly Morgana and her men, so stopping wasn't an option. The situation was far too dangerous for that.

Arthur stopped to cough from time to time - it seemed that the bandits' campfire had spread and started a forest fire. While it caused a perfect distraction and offered some cover, it also made it hard to see anything in the forest and Arthur feared he could lose his sense of direction if he just went on blindly by instinct. Screams, horses neighing, swords clanging and the distant rattle of the fire filled the air, even as Arthur got further and further away from the camp. Once again, he stopped to cough a bit.

He didn't even dare to think what the smoke could do to Merlin's already tortured lungs. Although, he didn't think about Merlin.

He didn't. Couldn't.

He didn't let any thought of Merlin in to his head, because it would paralyze him. He had pushed aside from his mind to be able to function, and he wasn't letting it out until they were lot more farther away from the deadly arrows, suffocating smoke and the running bandits.

So, Arthur went on.

It was painful and it got harder and harder all the time. Arthur knew that his knights were outnumbered, so the battle would be over soon. Dex and his men would come after them, not to mention Morgana who had to be furious right now. So Arthur ignored his own pain and continued.

After long minutes that felt like hours, his knee finally gave in. It just didn't carry him anymore, and Arthur crashed to the ground, Merlin landing to the grass, face down.

Arthur let out a grunt and slowly sat up. He took some calming breaths and blinked hard. The smoke was making his eyes water. He glanced back - he couldn't see a thing. Behind him, the smoke was thick and grey, and the already darkening night was making it even more harder to see anything. The distant glow of the fire was the only thing Arthur could use as a hint of where the camp was.

Arthur turned back, and pressed his knuckles against his lips, trying to think clearly. It almost seemed impossible to do so. Adrenaline was pumping inside his veins, probably the only thing numbing the pain in his leg and on the side of his head. He felt anxious - he was unarmed, alone and hurt. Not to mention Merlin hadn't moved an inch after landing quite hard on the ground.

Arthur flickered his eyes to him, holding his breath. There were leaves mixed into Merlin's dark hair. His skin was too pale. His broken wrist was in an odd angle, resting on the top of grass and small stones.

Arthur felt a rush of hatred and worry at the same time.

Instantly, he forced himself not to let it in. There wasn't time for this. There wasn't time for any of it. Arthur wanted himself to act like a machine - like a trained knight he was. He just had to get out of the immediate danger. He would gladly help his knights and fight against the bandits - he still wanted to kill Dex badly, but he wasn't in any condition to help right now. He wasn't in any condition to do anything but escape.

His knights had risked their lives only to give him a chance to flee, and Arthur was not going to waste it. Clenching his teeth, Arthur tried to get up despite the burning pain in his leg, but he fell right back to the ground. His leg just didn't carry any weight anymore. Arthur stared at it helplessly. No matter how hard he tried, he wouldn't be able to use it anymore.

Arthur looked around. The forest was dark and cold, filled with smoke and several sounds and voices. Arthur knew that any second he spent just sitting there gave more time to his enemies to gather their forces and come after him.

If one of the bandits got to him now, Arthur knew he wouldn't have a chance. He would be as good as dead then. He wasn't even able to stand upright.

Despair started to finally take its toll. For two days, Arthur had held himself together. For two long days, Arthur had kept his hope alive, made plans, determined to survive. He had promised to himself that he would get himself and Merlin out of this mess.

Merlin.

Arthur's face twisted and he bit his lip angrily. _Stop it. _He kept repeating it like a mantra, trying to ignore the chaotic thoughts that were boiling right under his shaky calmness. He tried to remind himself what he should do if he was just another knight. He didn't have to think long - escape as far as he could. Since that wasn't an option anymore, he would try to find shelter or a place to hide.

Arthur looked around. There were some rocks and cliffs to his right, he was sure of it. He had hunted here for a few times before. If he could get next to them, at least they could offer some shelter from the wind and the smoke, and for the possible rain.

Arthur coughed once, eyes landing on Merlin again. Merlin hadn't been around for hours now. He hadn't shown any signs of waking up during their escape. He was breathing, though - the horrible sound of it was hard to miss. Several strong emotions - worry, rage, uncertainty - struck Arthur at the same time. Arthur squeezed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath.

Merlin was in a bad shape.

There was no question about it. He could very well die during the night. Arthur didn't know how he felt about that. He didn't know how he felt about anything. He didn't even know what he should be thinking. Or even doing.

Their stupid patrol had gone so horribly downhill that it seemed ridiculous.

Arthur breathed in and out. In. And out. It seemed that was the only thing he could do right. Merlin, on the other hand, was struggling to breathe. The smoke was getting to him. Arthur felt guilty for just sitting there, not getting them both further away from the smoke and the bandits.

But he was just so tired. And messed up.  
All he wanted to do was to let himself fall to the ground and sleep for a week. But he knew he couldn't.

Because Merlin was there, like he always was, yet nothing was the same anymore. Everything had changed. Arthur didn't know what to do.

Arthur was so close to lose it completely, to give into his emotions and rage. But the nagging feeling of worry and anxiety was stronger. He _had_ to find a place to hide. It was the only coherent thought in his head, so he decided to go along with it.

Arthur crouched towards Merlin, and reached for Merlin's uninjured wrist. His fingers hovered over it for a moment. Touching Merlin felt suddenly odd and wrong. Like the touch could burn him. It sparkled the familiar, red disgust inside Arthur's heart that the thought of magic always did.

But with all his remaining willpower, Arthur forced his emotions away again and just grabbed Merlin's wrist, squeezing his fingers around it, waiting to feel Merlin's pulse.

It was erratic.

Arthur knew how much of an alarming sign it was, and swallowed heavily. He blinked his watering eyes, and just shook his head.

-Now is not the time to die." he told Merlin. His own voice sounded strange and alien. It was hollow, but it had a hint of panic in it. Arthur felt surprised by it, like his heart was pouring panic into his every bone even if he tried not to let it in.

-Merlin?" he said through tight jaw. The name, so familiar, tasted odd now.

Merlin didn't stir. Arthur sighed and shook him carefully.

-Merlin!" he hissed, but got no answer. Frustrated, Arthur turned Merlin to his back. Merlin was completely limp in his arms, and sagged onto the forest ground. Arthur tried to ignore the sharp sting of worry in his heart - the same heart that had just felt disgust and rage. He was a wreck himself, but he couldn't spare a thought to that now.

Arthur tried once again shake Merlin awake, but Merlin didn't answer. Arthur glanced at him, and seeing his face made it so much harder to keep his head on track. Arthur reached for Merlin's broken wrist, feeling slightly guilty, but knowing it was the only way.

He squeezed the broken wrist lightly and it sent instant, visible waves of pain through Merlin. He whimpered and shifted feverishly.

-Merlin, wake up." Arthur commanded. His own voice sounded harsh and cold.

With growing frustration, Arthur gave Merlin's wrist another squeeze. This time Merlin jolted for the pain, and his eyes flickered open.

Arthur almost jumped a little for seeing them.

Merlin's eyes were empty. They were open, but that was it. They were fixated somewhere far above them, to the night sky, but they clearly saw nothing.  
In the pale light, Arthur could see the cold sweat on Merlin's forehead. He was pale and his skin was hot to touch, his pulse erratic and unstable.

For the life of him, Arthur couldn't understand the powerful wave of protectiveness to wash over him. He was _worried_. His throat felt dry and his eyes were still badly watering from the smoke. And he was worried. And afraid.

-Don't you die on me. I'm so mad at you already." Arthur stuttered through his teeth. His tone sounded fragile.

Merlin didn't react. He just kept lying there, unmoving, struggled breaths the only thing to make him seem even alive. Arthur clenched his left hand to fist and shoved it into the ground. He was so close to lose the battle with his self-composure. So close.

He was torn with anger and worry. Together, they made him despaired.

Arthur shook his head. Quickly, he lowered his fingers on Merlin's forehead and pressed them against the skin. Merlin's eyelids slid closed for the touch. Arthur felt his heart sank - Merlin was still burning up. If it was possible, his fever seemed to have gotten even worse.

There wasn't any guarantee Merlin could make it through the night. Arthur lost the last bits of his false hope - Merlin wasn't getting any better. He was only getting worse. The sickness had gone into his lungs, and he would have needed Gaius' instant care to stop the progress. But Gaius wasn't here. Arthur was alone with him, and there was nothing he could do.

Arthur drew air in, but it sounded like a sob. He could hear that the sounds of the battle were coming closer - the bandits were chasing them already.

Arthur didn't think about leaving Merlin. He refused. No matter how hopeless his condition seemed to be. Arthur refused to do anything but get them both into a hiding place and out of the bandits' way. So with a lot of effort, he took a grip of Merlin and started partly crawl and partly walk forward. It was a slow and painful process, but Arthur ignored his own exhaustion. He took support from trees and rocks. He kept on going, nevertheless how hard it was.

He almost jumped out of his skin when Merlin spiraled towards violent coughing fits. They lasted longer and became more and more horrible to listen. Arthur dragging him around didn't help at all.  
Arthur also feared that the bandits could hear the coughs. He had no idea how close they were, because he could barely see where he was going. But Merlin pulled miraculously through all of the coughing fits.

Arthur lost the track of time. The smoke was thick and it was getting harder to breathe. The trip felt like an eternity and it was full of stops and frights. Four or five times bandits ran right past them, and Arthur could only pray that none of them would spot them. He thanked their luck for the smoke, because without it they would have been killed already.

The smoke was their curse and their gift. It could protect as well kill them.

Finally, a cliff came into view from their right. Arthur didn't have the time or the energy to examine it further, so he just pulled Merlin with him and stumbled forward.

With just pure luck that there was a small cave-like hole in the wall of the large cliff.

It offered shelter and blocked most of the view from the direction the bandits were coming from. Without considering it any longer, Arthur gladly struggled the rest of the exhausting distance through. Then he finally lowered Merlin to the ground and sank against the cave wall.

Arthur could have just fallen asleep there and then. Every muscle in his body ached. He wanted to rest so badly, but he knew that he couldn't. After a moment, he used the last of his strength to lift Merlin deeper into the cave, so anyone that bothered to glance at the cliff wouldn't spot them right away.

Fortunately the rocks and cliffs blocked most of the smoke. The cave was far away from comfortable, but Arthur couldn't have hoped for any better.  
He didn't give a damn about the bandits anymore. He didn't care about Morgana and he didn't spare another thought to his knights. Everyone was on their own now.

Right now, he had to keep himself and Merlin alive. He couldn't set up a fire, because he didn't have anything to make it with and it would also draw attention.  
He was still cold, but fortunately not nearly as cold as the night before. His clothes had partly dried already, and all of the running had warmed him up a little.

Arthur winced and moaned as he settled himself against the wall. His leg and head protested every movement, and Arthur knew that his wound was already forming infection in it.

Unceremonially, he reached for the rest of the arrow that was still party sticking out from his leg and after biting his teeth hard together, yanked it out. He couldn't help himself letting out a cry of pain, and for a moment he felt dizzy. Arthur threw the rest of the arrow angrily away, breathing through his nose and leaning his head back to the cold stone.

After a long moment of just sitting there, trying to dull the pain, Arthur opened his eyes again. He glanced at Merlin, who was still exactly in the same position as before.

Arthur's jaw tightened.

And just like that, like a twig had snapped broken, all of the emotions rushed in. Anger, betrayal, hurt, fury, rage, sadness, despair, worry. And Arthur let them.

Now that they were away from immediate danger, Arthur let it all in.

He felt blinded by rage. He was so _furious_ that he almost scared himself. He felt betrayed.

How could _Merlin_ have magic?

It couldn't be possible.

Had Dex been lying? But he had claimed that he had seen Merlin doing magic. Why would he lie? He had no reason to.

No. Dex hadn't been lying, no matter how much Arthur would like to think so. Merlin had magic. Merlin was a sorcerer.

It seemed impossible. Yet everything started suddenly make sense.

Arthur's head was a chaotic mess of old memories of their incredibly 'good luck'. Fires litting up, branches falling just in the right time, miraculous cures, bad situations suddenly turning into success.

Arthur had always known there was something. Something about Merlin. That something had been in Merlin from the day they had met, something Arthur couldn't put his finger on. Arthur had always sensed it somehow, even if he couldn't explain it or guess what it was.

Merlin had magic. He was a sorcerer.

Somehow the whole idea just didn't fit to Arthur's head. Merlin was his loyal, stubborn servant who always stayed by his side, who never let him down, who always spoke his mind. Merlin was clumsy and cheerful. Merlin was kind-hearted - he hated hunting because it was just 'mindless killing of innocent animals when you're not even hungry'. Merlin was..._Merlin._

He had been Arthur's closest friend for years. But of course, in reality, he wasn't, Arthur thought bitterly. Merlin had been lying to him for_ years, _for God's sakes, straight into Arthur's face. He had hidden his magic from Arthur and used it in secrecy. He had practised magic in Camelot where it was punishable by death. He had defied every law and done it behind Arthur's back.

Arthur stared at Merlin with incredulous, angry eyes. How could Merlin lie like this to him? How _could_ he?

Arthur had trusted him. He had trusted Merlin and would have been ready to lay down his own life for him, had already done it for several times. Arthur had trusted Merlin with all his heart. And Merlin had shoved that trust right back into his face.

Was Merlin really a traitor? Was he secretly trying to plot against Camelot and Arthur? Was it all just a façade, a sick play? Had Merlin been acting all this time? Did Arthur know him at all? Or was Merlin really a heartless stranger?

Arthur clenched his teeth and closed his eyes. He had never felt this betrayed in his whole life. Even if it certainly wasn't the first time - Morgana, Agravaine, even Gwen had betrayed him before. Everyone he had ever loved and cared about deeply had turned their backs on him, tried to hurt him and destroy him.

What had he ever done to these people? What had he ever done to be so hated?

Arthur felt his eyes burning.

Why did Merlin hate him so much that he would betray him like this? Didn't Arthur mean anything at all to Merlin?

Arthur pounded his already aching head to the cave wall. He was so angry he was shaking.

How could he ever trust anyone? How could he, when everyone kept stabbing him in the back? This betrayal, however, hurt the most.

Merlin was his best friend. There was no denying it, not really. They were - no, _had_ been close. They had spent every day together for so many years. All the time, always together. Wherever Arthur went, so did Merlin. So Arthur couldn't for the life of him understand _why_ Merlin had done this.

When he started to think about it, Arthur became even more confused. Merlin had risked his life countless times to save his king. He had also never betrayed Arthur's trust in any other way. Merlin had never hurt him, even if there had been plenty of opportunities to do so. Merlin had access to his food and drink. And his chambers. Merlin could have murdered him in cold blood and never gotten caught. Or then he could have just abandoned him in a bad situation and leave him to die, and that would have been it.

Not to mention the times they had been in mortal danger. Merlin had thrown himself into dangerous situations and been willing to sacrifice himself for Arthur. Was it all just a twisted game? Was it all an act to convince Arthur that he was sincere?

Arthur didn't know. The past years just felt like a huge lie.

But it just didn't click why. Why would Merlin do this? Why would he do anything to hurt Arthur when had almost died for him so many times? Why be the servant for so many years? What did Merlin want?

_I will be by your side, like I always am, protecting you._

_It is your fate to become the greatest king Camelot has ever known._

Were they all empty lies? Everything Merlin had ever said to him. Everything he had ever done. Were they all just empty breaths of air? Lies, lies, lies?

_"You couldn't keep a secret if your life depended on it!" _ That's what Arthur had said to him all those years ago.

_"You'd be surprised!" _Merlin had shouted back.

A little slip. There were more of them, now that Arthur started to think about them.

_"Do you know how many times I've had to save your royal backside?"_

Besides being furious, Arthur felt suddenly stupid. The truth had been right in front of his eyes all this time, and he hadn't seen it. Merlin had almost told him, all those years ago in Ealdor.

_"Whatever happens out there today, please don't think any differently of me." _Merlin had said, just before the battle.

_"I won't. It's alright to be scared, Merlin." _

_" That's not what I meant." _

Of course that wasn't what he had meant. It was the sudden storm. It hadn't been Merlin's friend Will, it had been Merlin. Arthur felt suddenly frustrated at himself - why had he been so blind? Had Merlin just been laughing at his stupidity behind his back, for not noticing the obvious?

But the more he thought about it, the less and less furious Arthur became. He scanned through his memories. And no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't find anything that would have proven his doubts true. More importantly, Arthur found all of his memories when Merlin had proven his loyalty to him. Merlin drinking poison for him. Merlin throwing himself in front of the Dorocha. Merlin using himself as a bait for the white dragon. Merlin risking his life to fight against Morgana and her army. Merlin, Merlin, Merlin.

Merlin had always been there. Always.

He had never abandoned Arthur.

No matter how hurt and betrayed Arthur felt, his rage lost its sharpness.

But there was also a nagging feeling in the back of his head that Merlin had been planning something bigger all this time. Maybe he was a spy? Or he worked for someone else? Arthur wasn't deaf nor blind - he knew Merlin went sometimes out on his own. He slipped out of the castle during the night or rode away without asking permission, always returning but never really explaining anything or then he offered some half-hearted lie.

Arthur had known this for years, and he had tolerated it because he had trusted Merlin more than anyone.

Now he felt like a fool. What if Merlin had someone he was working with, and he met them during those times? What if Merlin had used his magic on him? Or Gwen?

Arthur had never asked for this. Merlin wasn't supposed to have magic. Merlin wasn't supposed to lie to him, like everyone else did. Merlin out of all people shouldn't have betrayed him. But he had. He had magic.

And Arthur wasn't sure if he could live with that._  
_

There were just so many theories and questions inside his head that Arthur felt it could just split in two.

Suddenly Arthur became aware of the deep silence in the cave. His eyes snapped open.

Merlin had suddenly stopped breathing, and he was struggling to get air in. Arthur instantly got up and rushed to his side. Merlin wasn't even awake, there were just the silence after his terrible-sounding breaths were missing.

Anxiety washed over Arthur as he looked at Merlin. He tried turning Merlin to his side, but it didn't help at all. Merlin wasn't even jolting or convulsing like he usually was during coughing fits, he had just simply stopped breathing. He was quiet and unmoving, and it was much more unnerving than any pained movement.

Arthur cursed under his breath. As a panicked reflex, he pulled Merlin up from the cave floor and into a sitting position. Merlin, however, just sagged against him, his head lolling to Arthur's shoulder.

-Merlin, come on." Arthur commanded with an unstable voice. Merlin stayed unmoving and silent. He felt sickly limp in Arthur's arms, like all life had already been sucked out of him. It scared Arthur much more he wanted to admit.

Arthur could feel the heat radiating from Merlin, his skin hot. In a fleeting moment, Arthur simply realized Merlin wouldn't live through the night.

And that one, simple thought suddenly erased all of the doubt, anger and hurt feelings he had felt before. Suddenly the lies didn't matter anymore. Suddenly he didn't care if Merlin had magic or not - he just couldn't lose him like this.

Merlin couldn't die.

Arthur couldn't let him. Arthur spiraled into a deep panic, the moments from the river suddenly vivid back in his memory. He could remember the dark future there would be without Merlin by his side. He could remember it and it made him feel sick.

Silent seconds passed.

-Merlin, please just breathe." Arthur whispered, sounding miserable. He shook Merlin carefully, but his face remained blank and the silence continued. Arthur's own breaths that sounded a lot like sobs were echoing from the cave walls.

-Will you just once do as I say?" Arthur said, voice breaking.

He was so sick of this stupid patrol that had turned into a life-threatening race of time. He was tired of being betrayed. And he was tired of losing people.

-Merlin." he whispered, shifting him in his arms, but got no respond. Arthur squeezed his eyes shut.

_I'm so mad at you. I'm so mad at you for lying to me, for betraying me and my trust like this. I'm so mad at you for everything, Merlin, but please just breathe. Please._

Arthur's eyes were burning. He held his own breath and very carefully lowered Merlin back to the cave floor. He stared at Merlin.

Suddenly he found himself speechless. There were no words to describe his heart aching inside his chest.

Arthur didn't have much people left. He had lost so many of them.

No matter how angry or hurt he was for being lied to, it could never compare the hollow emptiness inside his chest now. Arthur felt...incomplete. Like he was one side of something whole, but the other part was missing.

He felt broken, dysfunctional.

Arthur sat there, alone, feeling like his heart could just burst out of his chest.

Then suddenly, Merlin drew a faint breath in. Arthur froze. Merlin drew another breath with great struggle, and then another. Slowly, he started to breathe again, the familiar wheezing sound filling the cave.

Arthur shut his eyes in relief, careful not to move Merlin at all, just staying beside him. He made sure Merlin kept breathing.

Then he slowly sat next to Merlin and fixed his eyes on the opposite wall.

The relief had somehow drowned the anger under it.

Arthur felt numb.

He couldn't feel anything.

He sank into the same catatonic state he had been in the bandit camp. He knew he had to sit there through the night and wait before Merlin's lungs would finally give in.

What did it matter how he felt? What did it matter how broken and betrayed his trust was? And most importantly - why would any of it make any difference is Merlin would die tonight?

Arthur didn't know.


	11. Chapter 11

Hey!

I didn't think that the previous chapter would have stirred so many emotions from so many people, but I'm glad to see it did. :) The overall feedback has just been amazing! I can't thank you enough for it, because I've been running around doing exams and writing essays all through the week, and the reviews are the reason why I'm able to update this so soon despite of my tight schedules. They keep me energetic. :)

So, here's chapter twelve. It's a bit longer now when it took me a while to update. Merlin episodes are running out soon, but fortunately there's at least 3 of them yet not aired. I'm so excited/slightly terrified of them actually. But let's make the most of the time, shall we?

Please drop me a review and tell me what you think! :)

Story: In Deep Water (Chapter 12)  
by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

The voices and sounds died down during the night.

Arthur didn't know what the bandits had done or where they had gone to, and he didn't really care. They haven't found the cave - and that's what mattered to him.

Arthur fell asleep from time to time, but he was restless. He was afraid that if he let himself sink into a deep slumber, then he wouldn't be able to watch out for Merlin.

The night was chilly and dark, but at least it wasn't freezing like the night before.

Merlin was unmoving. He didn't even shiver anymore. He didn't twitch his fingers or shift in his place, like he usually did when he was sleeping - Arthur had witnessed those small gestures so many times during the patrols and quests that the contrast seemed disturbing. Merlin was still. But he kept breathing. Arthur listened to the sound of it, dreading it would come to a sudden halt again. Fortunately it didn't.

The smoke started to clear out on the outside. Arthur stared at the stars for a while, but didn't really see them. Instead, he turned to stare at the opposite wall of the cave with glassy eyes.

Merlin had magic.

Arthur was still having the hard time processing it. Yet he wasn't angry anymore. The biggest shock had passed, along with the fury. Now he was just...sad. Tired. Arthur wondered why Merlin hadn't told him. Didn't Merlin trust him enough? Did Merlin think Arthur would imprison him, or even worse - behead him?

Arthur startled for the thought. During all this time after finding out about Merlin, death penalty hadn't even crossed his mind. He hadn't even considered it as an option. It sounded plain _ridiculous_. Not even in his deepest rage would he be able to condemn Merlin to death.

No. Not after _everything_. Everything they had gone through together and survived from.

Arthur was the kind of person who didn't like to talk about his emotions or ponder over them, but he didn't have to wonder whether he cared about Merlin enough or not. He did. If he didn't, he might as well have let Merlin drown into the river. Or left him behind to the forest.

Whether Arthur liked it or not, it wasn't even an option to leave Merlin behind.

The realization was simple, but somehow very important - Arthur wouldn't hurt Merlin. _Of course_ not. When Merlin had been almost killed by the Dorocha, Arthur had gone through some rather dark thoughts. One of them had been the most scariest one - the length he was willing to go for the few people that really mattered to him was frightening. Arthur had risked his own life so many times for Merlin that he had lost count. Uther had always despised it, and had always told Arthur that he was first and foremost the heir to the throne, and he was the most important person, always.

In the quiet and cold night, Arthur realized that to himself, he wasn't. What would he be without his closest friends? Well, dead for one. Without Merlin he would have died all those years ago when the old sorcerer had taken the form of Mary Collins and tried to assassinate him with a knife.

It seemed like a whole another life now.

Arthur shivered a little and squirmed uncomfortably, shifting his throbbing leg. He was so tired of thinking anything. He just wanted to be home. He wanted things to be like they had been before.

But they wouldn't ever be the same again, would they?

Arthur was suddenly faced with the consequences of the revelation - what should he do next?

He was not going to condemn Merlin to anything. He might be angry, but he wasn't sadistic or fanatic. Most importantly - he wasn't his father. Arthur didn't want to finish his thought and conclude what that meant in the bigger picture. Deep down, he knew he would have to do that soon. But not yet. Instead, he had to know the next step.

So what was his options then, if they both got out of this alive by some miracle - what now when the death penalty had been ruled out? Arthur thought about it tiredly.

Sacking Merlin. Imprisoning him. Exiling him.

They all made Arthur cringe. He didn't want to see Merlin to be taken into the dungeons. What good would do it to anyone? If Arthur openly blamed Merlin for using magic, he would have to follow his own laws. Giving him a fair trial wouldn't change that - death penalty would be the result. And Arthur didn't want that.

He wouldn't be able to go through that. Not when it was Merlin.

Arthur clenched his teeth - he was a coward. When it came to the people closest to him, he wasn't able to act as king or a fair one at that. He wouldn't be able to watch Merlin being held by the guards and be forced upon his knees, looking at him from the floor.

Arthur shivered again, but this time it wasn't from the cold.

He couldn't act like the king of Camelot around Merlin in any other situation anyway, so how could a trial be any different? With Merlin, he was always just Arthur. He was a someone, a person, with his own personality, flaws and sense of humor. Merlin made him feel like it mattered. Merlin didn't make him feel like he was just someone to wear a crown and command people, Merlin was the one to made him feel like all of it mattered. Arthur felt a slight lump in his throat.

With Merlin, he was Arthur. The rest of the world, he was the king of the Camelot.

And Arthur didn't want to lose the Merlin he had known, the one who hadn't lied or practised magic. Arthur wanted the old Merlin back, the one he would give his life for and who he could trust more than anyone, the one that made him laugh and who spent every day with him.

Maybe that Merlin didn't even exist. Maybe he was just a ghost in Arthur's memory, a pretty lie. Maybe the real Merlin was just like everyone else with magic, cold and tricky.

But again, there was a nagging feeling at the back of his head - Merlin couldn't be like that. Arthur knew him too well. He had spent every _day_ with him for several years - how could anyone keep up a role up that long?

Arthur sighed heavily.

Slowly something dawned on him. If he wasn't going to imprison Merlin or exile him, Arthur realized, stunned, that he couldn't tell about Merlin to anyone. He slumped deeper into the cave's wall, as a burden settled itself on to his shoulders - Merlin's secret was now his, too. If he wanted to keep Merlin alive, he couldn't tell about it to anyone.

But he could exile Merlin. As a king, he wouldn't need a proper reason for that. That way Merlin could stay alive. But it would mean him leaving Camelot forever.

Arthur turned his head towards Merlin.

His eyes poured sadness over the empty space between them.

He didn't want Merlin to leave.

Not the one he knew, at least. If Merlin really was a traitor that practised evil magic, Arthur wouldn't want to even see him ever again.

But now that Arthur was thinking a bit more clearly than in his blind rage, his doubts and hesitation grew remarkably. Merlin didn't have a bad bone in his body. Merlin had seemed so good-hearted, always, and nothing suggested that he was evil or twisted in any way.

But of course, that was Arthur had thought of Morgana, too.

Arthur shook his head. He had spent_ every day _with Merlin for many years now. How could he be so evil and traitorous? How could Merlin plot against him while putting himself into mortal danger? How could Merlin betray him when all of his acts spoke of deep loyalty?

Arthur was confused. He couldn't _understand_.

Merlin had magic, yet he didn't seem evil.

Was it possible? That not all those who practise magic have evil intentions? Could it be only about how the power is wielded?

It wasn't the first time Arthur had wondered about it. As a boy, he hadn't spoken aloud any of it, as his father had been consumed by hatred for magic. But he had wondered. Then again, he had been proven wrong so many times. He had lost his whole family - both of his parents and his sister to magic. Magic only seemed to destroy and corrupt. Why would Merlin be any different?

Arthur sighed and buried his face into his hands.

These contradictions didn't seem to have any end.

But Merlin's life just might. Arthur felt anxiety dwelling inside him. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop himself from thinking about the magic. His inner battle seemed stupid and pointless - if Merlin died tonight, none of it would matter.

There wasn't anything Arthur could do about that, was there? He wasn't able to walk, his leg had given in on that. The forest could still be squirming with bandits and Morgana could be anywhere. Leaving wasn't an option, but staying wasn't either.

If they stayed, Merlin would probably fade away before the dawn. If they left, they could be easily hunted down and killed.

Arthur knew he could last at least one more day on his own if he stayed in the cave, and in that time more of his men from Camelot would have surely reached the forest and found them already.

But Merlin didn't have that much time left. Arthur wasn't a physician in any way, far from it, but he wasn't blind or deaf. Merlin was struggling to keep breathing, and he hadn't woken up even once during the time they had been in the cave.

Arthur was grimly certain that Merlin wouldn't even wake up if he tried squeezing his broken wrist again.

Arthur was too tired to feel angry. He was too tired to think all of his chaotic thoughts that went around in circles.  
Destiny really had a bad sense of humor - the thing he hated most and the person that was one of the dearest to him, were now united.

But maybe not for long.

Arthur opened his eyes slowly and turned to Merlin. Slowly he dragged himself closer Merlin, so that he was right beside him. Arthur looked down at Merlin. He had never looked so sick before.

Arthur eyed him, from his messy hair to his red scarf and to his broken wrist. Merlin didn't look like a sorcerer. He looked tiny and fragile. Too skinny for his own good. But still like he had always looked like before.

Arthur wondered if all that power was really somewhere inside Merlin, somewhere right under the skin. Arthur couldn't picture it. He still couldn't fit the idea to his head that Merlin could cast spells. He couldn't feel the presence of magic - not like he could in any other time, either, but he still tried.

But Arthur could feel Merlin's presence. No matter how ailing or vague it was right now, Arthur could sense it.

In a fleeting moment, he wondered if those two could be the same thing.

Arthur slumped against the wall.

-Merlin. Please pull it through the night. If I ever knew you at all, then you are a one stubborn idiot. So use it for something good for once, alright?" Arthur said aloud.

Talking felt good. He felt less lonely and miserable. For a moment the cave walls didn't seem to be closing in. But Arthur was mostly surprised how easily the tone of their usual banter just flowed out of his tongue, like everything hadn't been broken between them.

Arthur felt his eyes suddenly burning. All of the fear, worry, exhaustion and danger was finally catching up to him.

He squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that it could force the sensation away. He couldn't.

-Merlin." Arthur whispered. He tried to say something else, but couldn't. He had to swallow several times and blink hard.

Arthur felt so suffocatingly alone that it made him want to scream out. He was almost ready to pray someone to find them. Even the bandits, because it would have been easier than just waiting before Merlin would finally lose the battle.

Slowly, a rush of panic grew in Arthur. He wouldn't be able to let Merlin go. He wouldn't be able to let him die, sorcerer or not. Arthur needed him to be alive to be angry at him.

After knowing about Merlin's magic, this should have been easier. It wasn't.

Arthur blinked hard. His eyes watered anyway.

He couldn't even begin to understand how everything had gone so wrong. It was_ just _a patrol.

Arthur brushed his eyes angrily.

The cave seemed too small and suffocating. The night was too dark, too quiet. Merlin was too still, too unresponsive. Arthur hated waiting.

He hated just sitting there, helpless and alone. Arthur let out a long breath, almost feeling guilty how easily the air flowed, turning into a faint blue smoke.  
Every one of Merlin's troubled, wheezing breaths made him wince, and yet each of them made him relieved because they weren't the last.

Arthur was cold.

In every sense of the world, Arthur felt cold. The betrayal was running inside his veins like ice. Arthur eyed Merlin with deep sadness. Slowly, he moved his hand to Merlin's uninjured arm.

Merlin's fever hadn't gone down at all - the warmth of it even radiated through the layers of clothing. Arthur's fingers lingered on Merlin's arm - he waited to feel something strange, like all of that magic could burn him. It didn't.

Arthur eyed Merlin with tired confusion. Merlin didn't look different. He didn't feel different.

Nothing had seemed to change in him, even if Arthur knew now.

Was there really even a difference?

For the first time, Arthur considered the possibility that there wasn't. Maybe Merlin was just Merlin. Maybe he hadn't been playing any games or pretended to be someone else. Maybe the Merlin Arthur knew was the Merlin that was now dying on the cave floor.

Arthur's heart felt heavy in his chest, like it was suddenly weighing him down.

He pulled his arm away and took a shuddering breath, turning his head away.

Merlin kept breathing. Otherwise it was quiet.

Arthur couldn't keep a track of the time, because he kept dozing off, the exhaustion finally winning. He woke up only to check on Merlin.

Minutes passed. Maybe even hours.

It was a sudden feeling of being watched that woke Arthur. It evaded his restless dreams until he blinked his eyes open hazily. The feeling only grew when he was fully awake, and Arthur stiffened, looking quickly around the cave.

Nothing.

After quickly glancing at Merlin, Arthur narrowed his eyes to look towards the cave entrance and the small view of the world outside it offered. There were curtains of the smoke still left hanging in the air and it was still dark, so Arthur had trouble adjusting his eyes.

He couldn't see any movement, but he knew something was off. Adrenaline rushed into his blood, sharpening his senses.

Arthur cursed loudly in his head. The cave was a dead-end. If someone attacked them now, they would be trapped in there. He didn't even have any weapon - he had been too dazed to ask for a weapon from his knights when they had been freed from the camp. Arthur couldn't stand up properly either, so he truly hoped that whatever was out there couldn't fight very well.

Arthur struggled to get up from the cave floor, careful not to cause any noise and strain his injured leg. Taking support from the walls, he got slowly closer to cave entrance, putting himself between it and Merlin.

Arthur crouched down, muscles tense. He wouldn't take a peek out of the cave entrance because it could very well reveal their hiding place if they hadn't been found yet. Arthur bit his lip and tried not to think about his throbbing leg.

Suddenly, he could hear footsteps. They were light and clearly muffled. Someone was sneaking towards the cave. Arthur braced himself, tightening his grip from the cave wall, ready to plunge forward.

His every sense was heightened and the adrenaline was thrumming in his ears.

Then, someone with a dark hood appeared to the cave entrance. Arthur had only second or two to think about what he would do, so he decided he wouldn't risk it.

The figure came forward and before there was time for anything else to do, Arthur jumped forward, hitting the stranger and causing them both to collapse to the ground. A soft, surprised yelp, could be heard.

With quick and trained hands, Arthur rolled around to sit, his right hand around the stranger's throat and his left one on the side of their head.

-You have three seconds to tell me who you are or I'll break your neck." Arthur hissed.

-King Arthur?" a soft, scared voice stuttered out. Arthur lifted his brows in surprise. It was a woman's voice. Arthur eased his grip slightly, but couldn't see her face from under the hood. She was completely locked in Arthur's grip.

-Please, don't hurt me. I mean no harm." she said with a weak, frightened voice.

She sounded so innocent and fragile, but Arthur knew he shouldn't trust anyone easily. He kept quiet for a moment, hesitating to make his next move.

She took a breath. -But whatever you want to do with me, please stay quiet." she whispered. -Morgana and forty of her men are outside on the clearing. They are all searching for you."

Arthur's eyes widened. With a sting of fear, he glanced at the cave entrance. He wasn't able to see if she was telling the truth. Arthur's eyes flickered back and forth, trying to make sense of the situation.

-Please, Pendragon. I'm here to help. If I wanted you dead I could have led Morgana here or scream out right now."

Arthur tightened his grip instinctively around her neck, just in case. She made out a muffling sound, her voice strained. Arthur was in two minds whether to trust her. He tried to think quickly.

-I'm...here to help." she whispered with some trouble.

Arthur bit his lip hard. He wasn't a murderer. He wasn't able to kill the stranger just like that, no matter how shady her entrance had been. Arthur just prayed he made the right decision as he eased his grip and let her go. She inhaled loudly, catching her breath and then sat up. She turned towards Arthur and pulled her hood down.

She was a young woman with a long, dark hair and green eyes. Arthur was distantly reminded of Princess Mithian, but she was much younger than her. Then his eyes fell on the mark in her neck.

-You're a Druid." Arthur stated incredulously, recognizing the mark easily.

The girl nodded distantly, and she seemed restless, like she was in a hurry. Her eyes fell on Merlin, and Arthur stiffened.

She looked suddenly devastated. She covered her other ear with a pained expression.

-No wonder the High Priestess got here so fast." she muttered and glanced towards the cave entrance. Then she turned to Arthur and locked pleading eyes with his. -We need to hurry."

Arthur looked at her warily. -To do what?"

The Druid girl's eyes slided from Arthur to Merlin and then back again. She studied the king with a surprised expression on her features. -You can't hear it?"

Arthur was left confused for a moment, but then just scoffed bitterly. -Of course I can hear it." he said quietly. Merlin's breathing _was_ very loud and he would have needed to be deaf not to hear it.

She nodded her head quickly. -That's why Morgana is so close. She is tracing the sound to here."

Arthur's mouth fell open. There was no way Morgana or anyone else could hear Merlin's breathing outside the cave. Not even a slightest chance.

-What are you talking about?" Arthur asked, incredulous. He was starting to become more and more suspicious.

The girl gave her an odd, puzzled look. -The sound. Like someone was screaming and weeping all the time. It drew me and Morgana here. I'm certain that it can be heard miles from here. It's the Old Religion...it's like it's crying for help. And we need to make it stop."

Arthur was starting to think she wasn't in her right mind. His face hardened and he straightened his back, jaw tightening. -If you try to hurt him, I _will _break your neck."

He didn't stop to think why he was so protective over Merlin, even after everything. He just was.

The druid girl's eyes widened and she startled backwards. -But I'm here to_ help_. We need to mute that sound or Morgana will find us in the matters of minutes!" she stuttered out.

Arthur eyed her angrily. -Let her come, then. But I'm not letting you to hurt Merlin."

-Hurt?" she asked in confusion. For a few seconds, she looked genuinely disbelieving, but then her expression changed. -Oh. No, no_, no_. I'm not trying to hurt him, I'm trying to _save_ him."

Arthur glared at her, but didn't say anything.

She looked very restless and kept shifting her weight, glancing back towards the forest. She looked at Arthur, and her eyes softened.

-I am a Druid called Meria. I'm here to help you, Arthur Pendragon. I have risked my life to come here." she took a long breath and looked at Merlin. -He is going to die soon if I don't help him. I can heal him."

-How? Do you have magic?" Arthur asked with a tensed tone.

She hesitated but nodded slowly. -Yes. I know that magic is outlawed in Camelot, but...

-Can you heal him?" Arthur cut in, with an intense tone, locking eyes with her. There was a heavy silence between them for a few seconds. Arthur could feel his frustration and worry almost overflowing.

He took a deep breath. -Can you heal him?" he repeated, pronouncing every word clearly.

Meria looked at him, uncertain. -Healing magic is the only magic I know. I can't promise that I can..."

-Do it." Arthur said.

She blinked in surprise.

Arthur was too tired to think. He was too exhausted to run. He was in no shape to fight. What did he have to lose? Without help, Merlin would be gone in few hours anyway. If she was, in fact, a liar and was only trying to trick him, then...then he couldn't do anything about it. But Arthur knew for certain that he would never forgive himself if there was a chance to save Merlin and he wouldn't take it.

Arthur had absolutely no idea how she had found them or why she had risked her life to do it, but right now he didn't really care. He just wanted this nightmare to be over. He was too tired to think clearly things. There was a spark of hope in his heart, and he couldn't squash it. So he just nodded, swallowing.  
-If there's anything you can do to help him, do it." he said quietly.

Meria eyed him, like trying to guess whether he was trying to fool her. But then a look of determination filled her face, and she got up and rushed to Merlin's side. Arthur followed her, trying to not to show how badly injured he was.

-He's fading." she said with a saddened voice. Her plight sounded real, like she really did care about Merlin's life. -He's already so far away, I'm not sure if I can reach him."

Arthur lowered himself next to Merlin, on full alert, not tearing his eyes away from her. He could still take her down if he needed to.

Meria put her hand on Merlin's forehead. Without hesitating, she started to chant something. Arthur cringed his teeth - partly for worry and partly for the automatic disgust that magic caused in him. Meria's eyes turned gold and she kept chanting, hand still on Merlin's forehead.

For a moment, Arthur was suddenly aware of the situation. He was aware of what he was doing. He was giving a Druid to permission to use magic. He was right there next to her. He was injured, exhausted, suffering from the lack of food, water and sleep. He had no idea where his knights were. He had no idea if she was telling the truth or not, or if she really was a Druid at all. There was nothing normal or clear about the situation. Every normal rule was blurred or distorted. The whole thing felt unreal and shaky, like a bad dream he couldn't shake off.

However, there were two things Arthur _did_ know. Firstly, Merlin was going to die very soon without any help. Secondly, Arthur was too tired and worried to care about his own laws and morals right now. He just wanted Merlin to live through the night.

Arthur's head was so badly messed up from everything that he just wanted home. He wanted to get them both back to Camelot. Then he could start thinking clearly again and make reasonable decisions.

Tonight, there wasn't any time for those.

For the time being, every normal rule was discarded.

Meria kept chanting. Arthur watched closely her every move, feeling suspicious and worried. Merlin was unmoving beneath her hands, but she was trembling now, her face twisting in struggle.

Arthur couldn't help but to believe that she was giving everything she got. Arthur felt extremely uncomfortable watching the magic fill her eyes. Did Merlin's eyes look the same when he was using magic? Golden? Filled with power?  
The thought made Arthur feel slightly sick.

But he didn't have time to think about that because just then Merlin suddenly jolted under Meria's hands, breaths hitching and coming out as muffled. Arthur startled and crouched closer, flickering his widened eyes between Merlin and the Druid.

Meria kept chanting, and she was shaking from the effort.

Arthur clutched his hands to fists, trying to fight the urge just shove her away from Merlin, to put that golden glow out of her eyes. Merlin let out a moan and his face twisted in unconscious pain.

-Stop it, you're hurting him!" Arthur barked to Meria, but she didn't seem to listen.

Instead, her voice grew stronger, more desperate. Arthur hesitated cutting in, because it looked like she had tricked him - Merlin was in pain, not getting better. Arthur felt furious rage starting to build inside him - if she truly had tricked him, it would be the last time. Arthur was sick of being lied to.

She was shaking, and colour started to drain from her face. Merlin's breaths were troubled and Arthur feared they could stop again any second. Arthur rose his hands, about to draw her away, but it was then when the golden light faded out of her eyes.

The words died to her lips and she slumped back shakily, looking like she was about to pass out.

Arthur froze completely and Merlin grew still once again.

Meria was out of breath, blinking hard and pale as a sheet. There were tears in her eyes.

-He doesn't answer to my call." she said with an unsteady tone. -I can't heal his body if his spirit leaves." she cried out, sounding so genuinely sad that it put almost all of Arthur's doubts to rest. Instead, Arthur stared at her with helplessness, knots starting to form into the pit of his stomach.

-What do you mean?" he asked.

She shook her head, tears glittering in her eyes. -I took the fever mostly away, but he's slipping away anyway. I reached him but he didn't answer my plea to come back."

Arthur looked at her, frowning, not really understanding what she meant, but he could sense honest panic from her. It started to spread through Arthur too - his heart was thundering in his ears. He knew that the time had almost ran out already.

Meria buried her face into her hands. -I'm so sorry. I've failed the Old Religion and the prophecy of Emrys." she mumbled miserably, tears breaking free.

Arthur couldn't understand a word she was saying, but didn't spare a thought to it. He looked at Merlin. Merlin was still and his breaths were just shallow inhales and exhales now. Arthur shook his head fiercely.

-No." he just said, like he just could command people to heal by themselves. He felt a rush of affection once again, and it dulled all the anger and the hurt he had felt before.

-Do it again. Try to save him." Arthur told her loudly, but his voice was laced with despair.

Meria shook her head, sobbing to her hands. -He won't answer. No matter how broken his body is, it can be fixed but not without the spirit."

Arthur looked at her with anxious eyes, strangling feeling in his throat. He turned to Merlin and studied his face.

Arthur knew there wasn't much time left. Maybe only minutes. Merlin had fought a long fight with the fever and the sickness that had invaded his lungs, but he was clearly losing. Merlin was dying.

Arthur felt his eyes burning. -Come on, Merlin." he whispered and took a light grasp from his healthy arm.

-You're a stubborn idiot, we both know that, so just...come back from wherever you are."

Arthur felt like an idiot for talking such nonsense, but didn't really care. It was like his very soul was suddenly made of broken glass, because it felt like it was suddenly cracking and twisting, long creaks spreading into his heart and mind. He hadn't felt anything quite like it before. It was like bleeding from the very core of his being. Misery and agony dwelled inside him, making him desperate.

Arthur swallowed heavily and blinked, one tear rolling off his cheek and landing to Merlin's hair. Arthur took a deep breath that came out as a sob.

-Merlin." he called. Suddenly he felt angry and took a better grip from Merlin's arm, squeezing it. -Don't you die, you idiot. I didn't pull you up from a river and drag you across a deadly forest squirming with bandits just so that you can die in this stupid cave and this stupid patrol. I didn't leave you behind even if you have magic and you've been lying to me for years, so you better not leave me either."

Merlin kept still, and another helpless tear escaped from Arthur's eye, this time landing to Merlin's forehead. Arthur forced back another sob, shaking his head in defeat.

-You stupid idiot." he whispered, and his voice was thick.

Arthur hung his head, one hand covering his mouth. He was trying not lose it.

He was just so tired.

Tired of lies.

Tired of betrayal.

And most importantly, he was tired of death.

He hadn't asked for any of this. A heavy, tense silence settled to the cave. Meria had buried her face into her hands, and didn't move. Arthur breathed in and out. He let his hand fell away and he just stared at Merlin.

And stared.

And stared.

Something occurred to Arthur in that moment. Something that he had known all along, but hadn't ever realized before.

There really wasn't anything Merlin could do to make Arthur hate him. He was furious and hurt, of course he was, but he would never hate Merlin. Not even if he tried.

Arthur was suddenly left breathless, and this small realization seemed to make his heart so heavy that it pulled him towards the floor.

He felt helpless. Not because of the situation, no. He felt helpless because no matter how badly he felt betrayed, when it came to Merlin, he was defenceless. Arthur didn't know when it had happened, or how Merlin had become such a vital part of his life, but it_ had_ happened.

Arthur suddenly remembered what he had thought of in the river shore when he Merlin had almost drowned - that Merlin was _his_. It was ridiculous and he wouldn't ever say it out loud, but it was true. Merlin was his, his friend, his servant, his..._everything_ - despite the magic and the lies. Arthur had already faced the fact he wouldn't be able to condemn Merlin to death or send him away.

So, Merlin was his, and so was Merlin's secret.

Arthur was certain that Uther would turn in his grave for this single moment, because in those few, slow seconds, Arthur was committing a treason. Treason to himself, because he was the king and it was his kingdom. His kingdom, his Merlin.

Arthur hated magic with all his heart, but he cared more about Merlin.

He squeezed his eyes shut, because he knew that he had made just a very big decision, even if he felt like he didn't really have a choice.

Arthur took a deep, shuddering breath.

He opened his eyes and turned to Merlin, leaning closer.

-Merlin." he said with determination. -You better drag yourself back in here because I know about...I _know_ now. And it's not...it's not alright, not even nearly, but someday it might be. I'm not going to send you away. I'm not going to tell anyone. You can have your job as my lousy servant. We can fix things, just like we always do. But we can't do that if you don't get back here from wherever you are right now. I know you don't ever listen to my orders, so I'm not ordering you, I'm _asking _you - Merlin, please. Please wake up."

The moment was so thick of emotion that the air seemed to be sparkling with it. Arthur looked at Merlin with pleading eyes. The moment lingered, and they all waited with great hope.

Arthur was holding his breath, praying that Merlin could hear him.

It couldn't end here.

It just couldn't.

The deep silence was finally broken by a soft shuffle.

Arthur's eyes flickered around, only to see that Merlin's fingers had just twitched. He stared at them, hope and worry and adrenaline banging in his blood and making him feel light-headed. Relief flowed him like a sudden rush of euphoria.

Meria was by Merlin's side instantly.

Arthur's world suddenly became hazy and soft. He just stared as Meria's eyes turned golden again, and tears were rolling off her cheeks but she was...she was _smiling_ now.

She kept chanting, but Arthur lost the track of time.

He felt like he was in stuck in dream-like state, everything felt unreal. His heart was too loud in his own head.

-He heard you." she rejoiced, but Arthur could only hear her distantly. The words didn't sink in.

Arthur leaned against the cave wall, eyes suddenly glassy and his mind shutting down. Her chanting lulled him into a numb state, and Arthur thought slowly that the last two days of the nightmare patrol were finally catching up to him.

Arthur's eyes slid closed, and the oblivion took him in.


	12. Chapter 12

Hey!

So, the last episode really was quite epic, wasn't it? We only have the season finale left! I'm as scared as I am excited about it.

I finally got most of my school stuff done, so now I have more time with this fic. I don't know if you all dear readers have either more time now when the holidays are coming or quite the opposite. For me, I can't stay as much as in the computer as I usually do, but I will update as soon as I can, so no worries. :)

Thank you so much for the support, it really makes me happy and keeps me writing even if I have a lot of school stuff to do. Please tell me what you think! :)

Story: In deep water (Chapter 12)  
by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

Wind.

It was the first thing that Arthur could feel - a soft breeze on his face. He couldn't remember what had happened or where he were - all he knew that he was tired. Exhausted even. All he wanted to do was sleep.

But the wind kept brushing his cheek and Arthur felt the urge to open his eyes. He kept still for a moment. As conciousness streamed slowly back into him, the pain did, too. Arthur's leg was like on fire. He could feel it too clearly, and suddenly the pain made him remember everything that had happened.

Suddenly Arthur's mind was struggling to get back to full alert - the Druid girl had been there. Where...where was Merlin? Was he alright? What about Morgana?

Arthur forced the rest of the sleep away and flickered his eyes, only to close them quickly when the light seemed to drill into his skull. He let out a moan and shifted a little, causing his muscles to protest.

There were voices but Arthur couldn't concentrate enough on them. Instead, he waited patiently until his head cleared out a bit more, and then he tried opening his eyes again.  
Slowly, his eyes adjusted to the light and he blinked his eyes open.

He could see trees far above him. And a blue sky.

Where was he? He wasn't in the cave anymore. Suddenly Arthur felt panic rising in him - had they gotten caught? Had Morgana found them?

-Sire?" someone called and Arthur froze, trying to find the source of the voice.

Suddenly Gwaine's head filled Arthur's view. For a moment, Arthur stared at him, before the information sink in. Then he let out a long, relieved breath and sagged back onto the ground.

-Gwaine." he said with a hoarse voice.

-In the flesh." Gwaine replied happily. Arthur took another breath. No matter how irritating Gwaine could sometimes be, Arthur hadn't seen him in days, not after the bandit attack on their patrol, and he was glad to know that the knight seemed to be fine. Gwaine didn't sound like they were in trouble, either. Arthur noticed his own hands or legs weren't tied either, and besides the pain throbbing in his leg and dull ache on the side of his head, he felt mostly like he was in one piece.

His own health wasn't really what bothered him, though. -Merlin?" Arthur asked warily. He was too afraid to look at Gwaine, because he didn't want the knight's face fall - Arthur knew what that would mean. Arthur almost hoped Gwaine didn't answer, because Arthur didn't know what he would do if...if the worst had happened.

Arthur waited, holding his breath, eyes closed.

-We found him, too." Gwaine answered, but his tone wasn't happy anymore. It sounded hollow.

Arthur's jaw tightened and he squeezed his eyes shut tighter. -And?"

Gwaine shifted somewhere next to him. -Well, he wasn't in the best shape I've seen him. He sounded like some bastard had stolen his lungs." he said with a grim voice.

Arthur could feel an icy feeling starting to spread in his chest. He wasn't able to say anything.

-Merlin didn't wake up even if we tried everything, so we just let him be. He was out for half a day before he showed any signs of life."

Arthur's eyes snapped open. -But he_ is _alive?" he stuttered out.

Gwaine looked slightly confused. -Yes, Arthur, he is alive."

Arthur dropped his head back to the ground in overwhelming relief, letting out a breath. -Good." he mumbled, suddenly realizing his heart was beating fast. So they were both alive. That's what mattered. That's what was the most important thing there was right now after everything.

Gwaine sighed quietly beside him. -But he's still not nearly alright." he said. -I think Gaius just might kill someone when we get back to Camelot."

Arthur turned his head to Gwaine, bad feeling starting to grow in him.

Gwaine clearly startled a bit for the worried look that Arthur gave him. He lifted his hands to the air defensively. -It's not like we could have stopped it from happening, really. When those bandits attacked our patrol, we had twenty of them running after us in the woods. We tried to get them as far as we could from you, but unfortunately most of them followed you. I have no idea what happened to you and Merlin after that, but somehow you ended up in the bandit camp as prisoners. Me and the other knights couldn't get back to Camelot in time to get more men, so we waited for a another Camelot patrol to pass us by. When it did, we joined them and together we attacked the bandit camp. Leon and Percival freed you, from what I heard, and after that we tried to kill as many of those bandits as we could."

Arthur listened closely. -What happened to you after the battle?"

-We tried to lure most of them away, but we got lost from each other in the smoke. Percival almost choked because of that bloody thing. Anyway, we got the bandits scattered. That was when Morgana entered the picture."

Her name made Arthur feel sad and angry at the same time. He clenched his hand into a fist.

Gwaine sighed. -She is one hell of a woman, isn't she? She almost caught you from that cave we found you from. Fortunately the word had gotten to Camelot in time and there were enough troops to attack her men. "

Arthur blinked, confused. -So you, Leon and Percival first joined the other patrol and then the men that had come from Camelot, and attacked Morgana on the clearing?"

Gwaine shrugged. -More or less. We didn't catch her, naturally. But in the end she was badly outnumbered and she fled. We got rid of her men that stayed behind."

Arthur wondered briefly how many fine men of Camelot had died because of this stupid patrol and the catastrophic consequences of it. He knew it had to be many. But right now, he was too tired to think about them. He felt selfish because of it, but he didn't really have the energy to think these things with the seriousness they needed.

Merlin and him were both alive. So were his knights. They had gathered enough of Camelot's men to attack Morgana and drive her away. Arthur rested his head on the ground, his anxiety slowly easing. For the first time in days, he felt more or less safe. Their lives weren't in immediate danger. His knights had found them. For the time being, things were a lot better than they had been for two past days.

-There was this girl." Gwaine continued, hesitantly. -She lead us to you. She didn't tell her name, and when we offered her food and protection, she didn't take it. She just said that she had already been repaid in much greater way and left."

Arthur swallowed. So Meria hadn't meant any harm. She had done exactly as she had promised - saved Merlin. She had also kept an eye on them during the night and lead his knights to them.

-I owe her my life." Arthur said quietly with a tensed voice. -We both do." he added, thinking about Merlin's weak, shallow breaths that he had drawn with struggle. The Druid girl have had a perfect situation to kill both of them or sell them out. She hadn't done either. Meria had risked her life to save Merlin and him, and Arthur didn't know why. He couldn't understand such token of kindness of strangers - especially when she was a Druid and Arthur had killed her people more than he would like to admit.

He owed his life for her - a girl that hadn't asked for anything in return.

For the first time in years, Arthur couldn't deny that there seemed to be people with magic that didn't weren't evil to the core.

Maybe they weren't all corrupted and malicious.

Maybe...just maybe, she wasn't the only one. Arthur couldn't help but to think about Merlin. Were they just exceptions to the rule? Or was there really more of them, just paling in comparison to the ones that wielded the power in a wrong way?

Arthur sighed deeply and looked at the sky somewhere between the trees. He needed to sleep a lot more before he could think clearly again. Arthur glanced at Gwaine.

The knight gave him a questioning look. -Are you going to sleep there, princess, or are you going to get up?"  
Arthur gave him a look before reaching his hand towards Gwaine. The knight took it and pulled him up carefully, and offered him a water bottle. After some dizzying seconds, Arthur blinked hard and the world settled in his eyes and his head stopped spinning.

-How are you feeling?" Gwaine asked.

-Like death." Arthur said dryly, taking the offered water bottle and took a long sip. Then he took another and another. Gwaine breathed out in surprise and laughed.

-We can take you to the river if you're that thirsty." he offered.

Arthur huffed. -I haven't had a drop of water in...a day? Two?"

-If you don't count the rain." Gwaine said but his grin faded when Arthur glared at him.

Then Arthur eyed his leg quickly. Gwaine noticed it and sighed. -Yes, we didn't really know what to do with it, so Percival tried his best to clean it and bind it. Gaius has to treat it better when we get home." Gwaine looked up and glanced at the side of Arthur's head. -And we didn't dare to touch that wound at all. You're still covered in blood and for a moment we thought you had your skull divided."

-I almost did." Arthur mumbled. Somehow he could feel that the wound wasn't as deep as it had before, and there was only one reasonable explanation - Meria had helped him. But Arthur wasn't really worried for his own wounds - the worry for Merlin was constantly hanging at the back of his mind.

Arthur looked properly around for the first time and saw that they were in a small clearing in the forest. It was probably an afternoon and mostly sunny. There was a campfire near them, and Percival was sitting next to it. Some other Camelot's men were guarding the camp further away from the fire. But Arthur's eyes searched for someone else.

When he finally took a look to his right, he saw Leon sitting there with his back towards Arthur. And there Arthur saw a familiar flash of dark hair.

Without waiting any longer, Arthur struggled up. Gwaine protested a little but helped him to stand anyway. Arthur felt light-headed and his leg was still mostly useless, but Gwaine dragged him towards Leon.

When they got closer, Merlin came into view. He was lying against a tree, covered in several blankets, eyes closed.

Arthur felt a rush of relief fill him. Merlin didn't certainly look completely alright, but at least he was alive and some colour had gotten back to his face. He wasn't covered in feverish sweat, either.

Gwaine lowered Arthur to sit next to Merlin and Leon. Leon said something, but Arthur didn't hear him. Instead, he studied Merlin's face intently. Arthur also noticed something was missing - the horrible sound of Merlin's breathing. Merlin _was _breathing, though, and while his breaths came out as a bit raspy, they sounded like music to Arthur's ears compared to the earlier days.

For a moment, he just stared at Merlin, feeling grateful and happy that they both had survived. He felt overwhelming relief once again filling him, and he thanked his luck they were both here.

-...Arthur?"

Arthur was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts, realizing someone had been repeating his name and asking him something. He turned towards Leon, who eyed him with worry.

-I'm fine." Arthur said. Slowly, he let out a faint smile. He couldn't remember when was the last time he had actually smiled, even a little tiredly.

Leon looked glad and nodded. -We're all happy that you are, Sire." he said, and then his face fell. -Though no thanks to us."

Arthur shook his head. -No, that's not true at all. Without you we'd be still prisoners in the bandit camp. I owe you and the other knights my sincere thanks." he said.

Leon still didn't look convinced. -We left you behind during the attack."

-On my orders." Arthur corrected. -And the second time you left to lure the bandits into the wrong direction. There is nothing to apologize, quite the contrary. But let's not talk about this yet, we can do it later when we get back to Camelot."

Then Arthur turned back to Merlin and hesitated. He eyed Merlin and took a breath. -Is he..."

-Just sleeping, Sire." Leon answered. -He woke up once or twice before but he still had a slight fever, and he wasn't really making any sense."

Arthur tilted his head, taking the information in. -What about now? Does he still have a fever?" he asked. Leon shrugged a little. -We haven't checked in a while."

Arthur nodded and pushed himself a bit up, closing the small distance between himself and Merlin. He knelt on his good leg carefully. Now that he was very close to Merlin, he could see that Merlin wasn't completely still like he had been before. Merlin's hair was still a mess and had leaves sticking out of it, but his skin had returned to a rather normal colour. His body wasn't drained anymore, somehow, like some of his strength had already returned to it. He kept breathing in and out, but the air was flowing quite easily.

Arthur swallowed, thanking his luck. There was no doubt that without Meria, Merlin would have died in that cave. Without _magic. _And Arthur didn't know how he felt about that.

With a slow and careful movement, Arthur lifted his hand to Merlin's forehead and pressed gently the back of his hand to it. Merlin's skin felt warm, but the raging fever was clearly gotten down. Arthur let out a relieved breath - the Druid girl had really known what she was doing.

Arthur startled suddenly when Merlin moved under his hand. The movement caught him off guard because Arthur had almost gotten used to Merlin being out and unmoving all the time. Merlin's eyelids flickered a little and he shifted slightly.

Arthur dropped his hand. He listened carefully Merlin's breathing once again - it sounded mostly alright, and he didn't look like it caused him pain. Then Merlin's eyelids flickered again and they opened a little.

Arthur was suddenly left surprised and holding his breath.

Merlin blinked few times and before Arthur had the time to think, Merlin's familiar blue eyes looked hazily to him. Arthur didn't know why, but several emotions washed over him in those few, short seconds when their eyes locked.

He felt relief. He had thought he would never see Merlin looking at him ever again.

He felt worry. Merlin was clearly feeling much, much better than before but he needed to be taken to Gaius' care soon.

He felt shock. Merlin didn't look different, feel different. He was just like he had been before, even if Arthur knew now.

He felt affection. Merlin was going to be alright, they were going to both survive out of this nightmare.

He felt pain. Arthur felt the stinging pain of betrayal and mistrust in his heart.

Arthur felt them all at once, confused how many emotions there were. But he also felt surprised - he did feel a lot of emotions, but blind rage or hatred weren't among them. Arthur didn't know what to think about that either.

Merlin blinked again, and his eyes cleared a bit. Then recognition filled his face and his eyes widened.

-Arthur?" he asked quietly; his voice still almost unrecognizable but audible.

Arthur smiled instinctively. As betrayed as he still felt, the smile was genuine. He nodded, because he didn't trust his own voice to work right now.

Merlin's face was filled with such happiness and relief that Arthur almost felt ashamed for ever doubting him playing some kind of role and pretending to be someone else. How could he fake something like this? As twisted and odd it was, Arthur realized he_ knew _Merlin. Had always known. This was his Merlin, despite the lies.

The scary scenario of a two-faced traitor was erased from his head. It made it easier to breathe and look Merlin in the eyes. This was Merlin. The Merlin he had known before the patrol.  
Somewhere deep inside Arthur's heart, the pain dulled a little.

Merlin coughed once, but he didn't spiral into a coughing fit, fortunately. Arthur dared to hope that those were already over. Merlin leant heavily back to tree, blinking slowly, looking at Arthur. For a moment, their eyes were locked and no words were needed. Their eyes were sparkling, from pure joy knowing the other one was alright.

Arthur had thought that he wouldn't be able to act normally around Merlin, but he find it even disturbingly easy. Being with Merlin was so familiar. Arthur wondered briefly if it all changed when they would get back to Camelot, but right now he was more or less in peace.

Merlin blinked and smiled a little. He looked so tiny, covered in all of the blankets.

-How are you feeling?" Arthur asked. He waited himself to feel odd and disappointed with talking to Merlin, but he didn't.

It took a moment before Merlin cleared his voice a bit. -Been better." he whispered distantly. He was eyeing Arthur with worried eyes.

-And you?"

Arthur shrugged. -I'll live." he said, and Merlin smiled weakly. Arthur felt ridiculous for feeling so glad to see that smile - it was just stupid how it made him feel always better.

Arthur shook his head to clear his head. -You still have a slight fever." he said.

Merlin pulled the blankets carefully tighter. His movements were slow and his eyes were clouded - Arthur was reminded of the night in the bandit camp when he had first noticed that Merlin was getting sick. Now Merlin wasn't fortunately that badly out of it, but clearly it took him effort to concentrate on Arthur.

Merlin took a breath, and clearly had to think hard when he answered. -I'm cold...And...I don't really remember anything. Just bits of here and there."

Arthur nodded, huffing. -Well, that's isn't a wonder." he mumbled, reminded of the horrible past days. He lowered his voice. -We almost lost you." he said, his voice suddenly unstable.

Compassion filled Merlin's eyes, and Arthur once again realized that Merlin couldn't be evil. Despite the magic and the lies. He just couldn't.  
But then he was cruely reminded that he _had _been lied to, and it hadn't stopped bothering him for one second. Arthur could feel all the disappointment and anger and uncertainty bubbling somewhere under the surface. He just knew he couldn't let them out now.

A heavy silence landed between them. Arthur realized that he didn't know what to tell Merlin about the few past days. At least not everything. He wasn't ready. They needed to be alone, so they could really talk. And both of them needed to be in a better shape to do that, too.

There were too many things that couldn't be said aloud when there were other people around them. Arthur instantly hated the idea - he didn't like secrets or lies. He hated pretending. But he also knew that this wasn't the moment to let Merlin know that he knew. It had to be done later.

So, as much as Arthur graved to talk with Merlin properly, he turned to Leon instead.

-How far from Camelot are we?"

-From half a day's ride." the knight answered. -We waited for you and Merlin to get some rest, but we can't stay here for long. Morgana might come after for a revenge."

Arthur nodded. -Yes, I understand." Arthur's eyes flickered to Merlin. He eyed Merlin with a critical eye.

Merlin looked already tired, just from the small effort of talking to Arthur. Leon seemed to understand what Arthur was thinking before he had said anything.

-I know that neither of you are in the best shape to travel, Sire, but I think it's important to get back to Camelot as soon as possible. Staying here can be dangerous and you also need professional treatment."

Arthur felt slightly worried as he looked once more at Merlin.

Merlin seemed a bit out of it again, and looked like he was dozing off slowly. He was clearly exhausted, just like Arthur was. His eyes were sliding closed. Arthur knew that fever could rise easily again, and this time Meria wasn't there to cure it. So Arthur knew that traveling wasn't really a good idea, but staying was even worse.

-We'll leave as soon as we can. We'll try to reach Camelot before nightfall." Arthur said.

-Gaius will kill me." Merlin mumbled tiredly with his eyes closed.

Arthur startled just a little for the word 'kill'. He knew it was ridiculous and stupid, and that no one was going to die anytime soon, not if he had any choice in it - which he had.

-You'll be fine." Arthur said, and his tone was suddenly determined and serious. It even made Merlin blink his eyes open a little in confusion, and Arthur swallowed. He realized he had meant his words in a larger scale - of course Merlin would be fine. No one would hurt him - including Arthur himself. But Merlin looked at him with bleary eyes.

Arthur flashed a small, shaky smile. Fortunately Merlin was still feverish enough not to notice the half-hearted gesture, so he just closed his eyes again and slumped against the tree.

Arthur's face fell. He realized that the decision he had made earlier would have long, long consequences. How serious and far-fetching they really were, Arthur didn't know. That was something that would have to wait until they got to Camelot.

He was suddenly very glad that Merlin wasn't fully conscious to notice how strangely Arthur was acting. Arthur feared he wouldn't be able to keep this up for long. He hated the idea that he would have to pretend like everything was exactly like it had been before.

It wasn't.

It would never be the same again.

Arthur knew that the all of the disappointment and hurt were still boiling somewhere in him, but he knew that lashing them out in front of his knights would make things much worse. Besides, Merlin wasn't in any shape to answer questions or deal with this. He could barely keep his eyes open for five minutes, and even that drained all the energy from him.

No. This would have to wait.

Arthur swallowed and shut his mouth tightly. He watched as Leon got up and the knights were starting to prepare for the trip home.

* * *

It started raining after an hour or two.

Arthur had insisted that he was able to ride on his own, so his knights had let him. After a few hours of traveling, he started to think that maybe it wasn't that much of a good idea. His eyes were constantly sliding closed, because he was still so tired. He hadn't barely slept at all in three days, and his leg was making him wince from time to time.

Gwaine had taken Merlin with him. Merlin hadn't been awake in a long time, so Gwaine had carried him in the camp. Merlin did open his eyes once or twice, but he seemed very much out of it. Arthur tried not to worry too much.

The rain made everyone irritated and they rode in silence.

Leon asked Arthur several times if he could keep up. Arthur convinced he could.

The rest of the trip Arthur was struggling to stay in the saddle.

When he was just about to give up, someone shouted that they were arriving to Camelot.

Arthur swayed on his place. Suddenly Leon was there, steadying him with a reassuring nod.

Arthur would have thanked him if he hadn't been half-asleep.

He couldn't really remember anything about the trip.

When they finally arrived to the courtyard, several servants and knights ran to them. Arthur looked briefly up tiredly, catching a glimpse of Gwaine carrying Merlin hastily away. Arthur was pulled down from the saddle half-carried, half-dragged towards Gaius' chambers. When they finally entered the familiar chambers and Arthur was lowered into a bed, Gaius' face loomed over him.

Arthur knew he was going to pass out very soon from the exhaustion. So with his last remaining strength he took a breath and looked Gaius in the eyes. -Merlin first." he said, demanding. Gaius nodded.

Then Arthur was out.

He woke up several times during the night, sometimes panicking that they were still in the bandit camp. Other times he had trouble remembering where he was or what had happened. Either way, he always asked Gaius how Merlin was doing.

Not good.

His fever had risen a little again, and while Gaius assured Arthur that he had everything under control, Arthur feared the physician might say that just to make Arthur go to sleep again. He realized, too late, that Gaius had slipped something into his water, when he was suddenly too tired to keep his eyes open.

He tried to fight it, but couldn't. The oblivion took him in.

* * *

Merlin felt like he was trapped underwater.

He could breathe, but it was hard and slow thing to do. Everything around him was floating and twisting and turning, and he couldn't make sense which direction was which.

He had no track of time. His memory was full of holes and grey spots, and voices came in and went out. Sometimes he felt like he was in pain, sometimes he wasn't. Time to time, he felt his body and every ache in it, other times he knew it was there but couldn't feel anything.

There was Gwaine and trees and sun and Leon. Then there was Arthur and relief and joy. And confusion. Nagging feeling - like there was something wrong but he didn't know what. Like he was too tired to remember. Then it was horses and grass and rain and feeling cold. Then it was grey spots, then flashes of red cloaks. Then it was flashes of some girl he had never seen before, and Merlin was sure he must have imagined her.

Then there was Morgana's anger, her frustrated screams echoing in Merlin's head.

There was Old Religion crying, weeping miserably after him - like he was dying and abandoning the world and his destiny. The sound of it was loud and one of the most horrifying things Merlin had ever heard. It invaded his dreams. He couldn't understand why would the Old Religion weep after something if it wasn't very important?

Smoke. Lots of suffocating smoke.

Then there was Arthur again, saying something, but he couldn't make out what he was saying. Then he saw Will yelling at him for almost getting himself killed. Water. Suffocating feeling. Chains. Bandits.

Rain. Cold.

Gentle fingers on his forehead, brushing the skin.

Fever. His head against Arthur's shoulder.

Familiar scent of the physician's chambers. Rain. Sky. Gwaine.

Camelot. The faint scent of Arthur's chain mail - then firewood.

All of the things seemed irrelevant and small, like pieces of a puzzle he couldn't put together. They floated around him, and Merlin really couldn't make sense which was the result of his feverish dreams and which were bits of the reality.

No matter how much he tried to wake up and start organizing things into a reasonable order, he was too tired. Fever kept pulling him backwards.

Merlin was quite sure Gaius was there at some point, and it made him feel a bit better.

Then he got lost into the feverish dreams again.

* * *

When Arthur finally woke up again, sun streamed down from the windows.

He felt a lot better than before. This time, his head didn't feel like porridge because of the exhaustion. He could think more or less clearly, and the constant tiredness wasn't weighing him down.

His leg felt numb. He was certain that it was all Gaius' doing. Arthur blinked and narrowed his eyes to look at the sun through the window.

It was so good to be back home.

Arthur took a long breath and let it out. Then he lifted his hand to the side of his head, and noticed there were some bandages wrapped around it. He could feel the wound was more like a scratch now - Meria hadn't healed it completely, but closed it remarkably.

Arthur took support from the bed and pushed himself up to sit. For his surprise, the room didn't spin at all. He felt hungry and still a bit disoriented, but mostly fine. He was in the middle of the physician's chambers. It was quiet and still.

-Gaius?" Arthur called, and had to cough. He hadn't been talking in a awhile, and his throat reminded him about it.

No one answered. Arthur looked around but there didn't seem to be anyone in the room.

Arthur furrowed his brows - surely nothing bad had happened? A sting of fear instantly hit Arthur. He quickly started to look around the room.

His eyes found Merlin very quickly. Next to the fireplace, in the warmest place of the room, was Merlin. He was lying on another bed, face turned away from Arthur. He wasn't moving or showing any signs of being awake, and Arthur felt slight worry taking over him.

Arthur swung his legs over the bed and placed them carefully on the floor. His injured leg protested a little, but Gaius clearly had given him something not to feel it.

Arthur hoisted himself up and after swaying in his place for a moment, he took careful steps toward the fireplace, taking support from a table. Fortunately the distance wasn't long, and there was a chair pulled next to Merlin's bed - clearly Gaius had sat there earlier.

Arthur sat on it and let out a breath. His leg throbbed distantly, but he ignored it.

Instead, he turned to look at Merlin. Merlin was lying on the bed, under several blankets. His eyes were closed and his face was turned towards the fire that was rattling in the fireplace further away. Arthur studied him - he looked much better than in the cave, but otherwise his condition didn't seem to have really improved.

Arthur felt his heart sinking a little - Merlin should have been alright by now. He should have gotten better already.

But Arthur also knew that they had gone through a lot and the circumstances hadn't really been good to anyone who has even a tiniest bit sick. And Merlin had almost died.

-Merlin?" Arthur called quietly, uncertainly.

He got no response. Arthur wondered if Gaius had given Merlin some kind of sleeping draught, too, or was he unconscious. He didn't like either of the options. He hoped Merlin was just asleep. Arthur caught a glimpse of Merlin's bandaged wrist from under the blanket, and noted it with satisfaction. Gaius really knew what he was doing, fortunately.

Arthur tilted his head. Merlin looked tired. He was still a bit too pale, but at least Gaius was looking after him.

Arthur sighed.

He leant his jaw to his arms and stared at Merlin.

-I'm sorry." Arthur finally said. His own voice sounded loud in the empty room. It was quiet besides the sounds of the fire. But talking felt good. His voice was a bit unsteady, but Arthur didn't care.

-I'm sorry that the patrol went haywire. I'm...You weren't supposed to get hurt. I should have listened you on the first place and not make you stay underwater. It was stupid. I almost drowned you." The memory made Arthur cringe.

The chambers were very quiet. Almost too quiet.

-A lot has happened after that." Arthur said, his voice tensed. -You won't probably remember even half of it, and I don't know what should I even tell you. That I...that I know? Yes I know now, Merlin. And I have no idea what I should do about that."

The fire made shadows and light dance on Merlin's face, even if he stayed still. Arthur looked at him with eyes full of confusion and hurt.

-I'm still angry. I don't accept that you lied to me for years. I can't stand the fact that you kept something like this from me." Arthur felt his eyes glittering a little. -I_ trusted_ you, Merlin." he said with a thick voice.

Arthur shook his head as suddenly he felt a lump in his throat. He had to blink several times before he could continue his lonely discussion.

-It's not alright. Not even nearly. And I don't know if it can be alright, ever, Merlin. I don't know if I can forgive you or ever trust you again at all. But there's something I do know - that I can't let anything happen to you or send you away, so, it seems we have to figure out something."

Merlin didn't show any signs of hearing him. Arthur's eyes studied Merlin with contradicted emotions - disappointment, confusion, worry. Merlin looked so tiny and fragile under all of the blankets, and Arthur felt almost automatically protective over him. It didn't make sense. Nothing really made sense. He was hurt and felt betrayed by Merlin, but nothing he could think or feel would make him to hate him. It would have been easier if he could do that. Then he could have just sent Merlin away and hate him for the rest of his life.

But somehow, it was impossible. Arthur didn't feel hatred or rage - those had already passed along with the first shock.

Arthur swallowed hard and dropped his eyes to the floor, seeing nothing. His breaths were heavy. -You should get better. You have to."

The fire rattled quietly on the background. Arthur turned his head towards the window. He almost felt sad for knowing that he would have to leave this room and return to be a king once again. He would need to attend funerals of the men that were lost in the battle. He would have to go into meetings and think about Morgana and tracking Dex and the other bandits that had gotten away.

All of that waited him outside the room.

So did the big decision that was lurking at the back of Arthur's head - he needed to clear his head about everything that had happened. He would have to make decisions, big decisions. About Merlin. About his own beliefs and morals. And he would need to do it silence, because Merlin's secret was now his, too. And as long as Merlin wasn't fully recovered, Arthur couldn't bring it up.

He hated knowing that there would be fights, hurt emotions and hours and hours of discussion.

He hated knowing that it would all wait him later. That he was forced to go through them.

He didn't want to.

For a moment, he played with the idea that he wouldn't say anything.

His heart almost skipped a beat for the thought. It hadn't even crossed his mind before, but now that it had entered his head, Arthur almost hated himself. It couldn't be an option. It couldn't. _Right?_

Arthur took a long, shuddering breath.

The air seemed suddenly heavier, the fireplace colder and the sunlight darker.

What if he just decided that nothing had happened during that patrol?

What if he just...didn't say anything?

The thought was intoxicating and scary. Could he go on, pretending like nothing had happened? Could he act like everything hadn't been shattered from the very core?

Arthur stared at the flames with unseeing eyes.

The pillars of the sun streaming down from the window moved slowly on the surface of the floor when time passed. Arthur stayed there, long after the fire had turned into a red embers.

The chambers were quiet.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey!**

Whew. I'm finally feeling alright enough to update this story. The season finale...that was heartbreaking and sad and it really took me days before I could even think about writing this story forward. Also, there was Christmas in between (I hope you all good holidays) and naturally I couldn't be on the computer. I'm sad that Merlin is now over and even sadder about the ending, but let's keep the fandom alive, shall we? :)

By the way, someone asked me if I have Livejournal or Tumblr, and no, I don't have a Livejournal but I do have a Tumblr. If you want to follow me on there, you can find the link to my blog on my profile page. :)

Also, there's something I want to ask you all. I'm thinking about starting a reincarnation fic set in the modern day when I've finished this fic. What do you think, should I do it?

Alright, let's get into it then**. This is the last chapter. **I was thinking to do one more chapter after this at first, but when I started writing, I just knew how I wanted to end this story. You'll see what I mean when you finish it, hopefully. :)

So now it's the time to thank you all. I couldn't have kicked my writer's block this effectively to the head without you. Your enthusiasm and positive feedback has given me so much more energy and confidence in writing that I can't express it well enough through words. **Thank you**. I mean it.

So, for the one last time, I wish you give a review and tell me what you thought about this chapter and this whole story - was it good, bad, worth writing for and reading for? Tell me honestly everything - whether it's good or bad - I truly appreciate it. And also, please let me know if you want me to start writing that modern day reincarnation story, because you really have a huge effect on me on this.

Okay, so here's the last chapter of In Deep Water. Thank you all and happy New Year! :)

Story: In deep water (Chapter thirteen)  
by: **Niphrehdil**

* * *

During the next day and night, Merlin's fever went up and down.

Arthur stayed beside him all the time. Gaius had been treating some emergency case in the lower town, and he could only come to check in on Merlin from time to time.

The worst thing that there wasn't really anything that could be done. While Merlin was still out cold, his fever wasn't dangerously high, and his life wasn't in immediate danger. Gaius had given him some sleeping draught that kept him dreaming peacefully.

Arthur spent the day in the dark rooms of his own mind, turning thoughts and ideas in his head, trying to make sense of everything.

A lot of things started to click. Frightening amount of unexplained things and miraculous incidents suddenly made finally perfectly sense. Arthur wondered how on Earth he hadn't suspected anything or realized the truth himself. It had been there right under his nose. All he would have needed was to look closer.

But none of that mattered now, did it?

They were home. They were both alive.

When the night started to settle in, Merlin's fever finally got lower. Arthur buried his face into his hands in relief. He was getting rather tired himself, too. While he had gotten proper sleep before, he wasn't still fully recovered or rested.

Gaius had forbidden all visitors, and Arthur was actually very glad for that. He wanted to be alone and_ think_. His thoughts went around in circles. Always the same doubts, always the same hurt - but always the same conclusion.

Merlin was his. No matter how he turned things around in his head, it was the very thing that never changed. Arthur wasn't ready to let him go - and he didn't want to. Merlin's secret was his now too, and Arthur knew that.

Arthur wanted just things to get back to normal. Like they had been before. He wanted Merlin to get better and be his manservant and they could go back to their usual banter and flying objects and smiles and laugh.

Arthur wanted all of that.

He didn't want to break it.

As much as his heart ached and as betrayed as he still felt, Arthur needed to give Merlin time to get better. Then...then Arthur could make some decisions. Gaius came back to the physician's chambers sometime after the sunset with dark rings under his eyes. He checked on Merlin and assured Arthur that Merlin should be fine, but he needed time to heal and recover.

Arthur thanked him and demanded that Gaius should go to sleep. Arthur told him that he wouldn't be able to get any sleep himself. Not yet. Gaius said that Arthur really needed to rest some more, but Arthur refused, saying that he had slept almost whole two days earlier.

Gaius' eyes flickered between Merlin and Arthur. Then he slowly nodded. Arthur knew he understood. Gaius understood that Arthur needed to be there. That he needed this. So after a moment of silence, Gaius told Arthur that he should wake him up if anything changed, and Arthur promised him that he would.

Then Arthur was alone in the room again.

* * *

Hours passed. Night darkened. The fire died down.

When Merlin started to shiver slightly, Arthur ordered a guard to light up the fire again.

Arthur sat alone, sometimes watching Merlin and sometimes staring at the flames.

Shadows danced in the room, making it look eerie.

* * *

Sometime after midnight, Merlin suddenly moaned a little. Arthur was instantly on full alert, crouching closer to him, breaths quickening.

Merlin's eyelids flickered. Arthur suddenly felt his heart getting heavy in his chest. While it was filled with worry, there was also deep affection. Merlin opened his eyes slowly and hazily. Arthur looked at those familiar blue eyes wandering distantly for a moment before they found Arthur.

A weak smile filled Merlin's lips. Arthur felt a deep sting somewhere deep inside his chest, and had to swallow hard.

Merlin blinked slowly, clearly tired. He breathed in and out, just looking at Arthur. Arthur could see his exhausted eyes scanning for injuries and wounds, and filling with relief when they were all bandaged.

This moment was peaceful. It was natural and easy, just like it always used to be with Merlin. No words were needed. Arthur looked at Merlin - his blue eyes, dark hair, pale skin. No matter what he did, Arthur could feel his anger and hurt dulling all the time. The shock was fading. The anger was dying out.

It almost scared him, because Arthur started to feel _thankful_. If Merlin really was a sorcerer, then why didn't he seek any credit? Why did he keep cleaning boots and making beds when he could do anything he wanted, get anything he wanted? With all that power, Merlin still chose to be a servant?

Yet here Merlin was, lying half-dead because he would always follow Arthur everywhere, would do anything for him.

Arthur suddenly knew it. It had taken time, but seeing Merlin like this, under the blankets, on the warm orange light of the fire, Arthur could only feel fierce rush of affection.

Merlin was his.

Arthur could never hate magic enough to let go of him. He was once again reminded that even as ridiculous and stupid it seemed, Arthur was defenceless and powerless here. He wouldn't need to choose, because there wasn't any choice anyway, there never really had been. He would just have to deal with the consequences.

-Arth...ur?" Merlin whispered.

Arthur just nodded, flashing a shaky smile.

Merlin glanced around, slightly confused.

Arthur sighed. -We're in Camelot. You're safe...We both are. You still have a light fever, but it should be gone by the morning." he said quietly.

He knew there was something off about his own tone - it was too thick, too emotional, too troubled. He couldn't hide his inner turmoil. It caught Merlin's attention too. His brows furrowed and his eyes studied Arthur's face. -Are you...alright?" he said, sounding worried.

Arthur nodded, drawing a hitching, quick breath. -Yes, Merlin, I am alright." He looked away. -I'm just...relieved that we're back."

There was a silence filled with the fire rattling on the background. The air seemed suddenly thinner and heavier to breathe in.

Arthur forced himself to look back to Merlin. Merlin looked disbelieving. Even being only half-awake, he knew Arthur too well. -Arthur..." he said, a question in his voice.

Arthur leant slightly forward. Their faces were now close to each other, and the light of the fire was dancing on their faces. In a fleeting moment, Arthur looked into Merlin's eyes, and saw the same person there always had been before.

Not malice. Not façade.

Just Merlin.

Who was looking at him with his blue eyes, confusion and tired worry in them.

Arthur swallowed. Everything is alright, Merlin. You just...gave us quite a scare. You should get some rest." he said.

Merlin still eyed him with confusion, but it settled a little, and exhaustion was clearly taking over.

-Just sleep. I'll be right here." Arthur said with a quiet voice, turning his head away.

It was so hard. It was so hard, but Arthur knew now he could get through this. Somehow.

He knew Merlin wanted to ask him about his odd behaviour, but there was only silence. When Arthur finally turned his head towards Merlin again, his eyelids had already drifted closed and he was sleeping again.

Arthur let out a long, shuddering breath.

The night continued. Shadows kept him company.

* * *

Days went by.

Slowly but surely, Merlin started to get better. His fever went down for good, and he started regaining his strength. Soon he was sitting up and talking to Gaius and moving around a bit in the physician's chambers.

His breathing and voice got finally back to normal, and Arthur was satisfied to see the simple gesture of air flowing in and out without trouble.

Arthur's wounds healed quickly. It seemed there was some magic at work on the side of his head, because the cut on it shrank to a scar with an impressive speed. It was no doubt thanks to Meria.  
However, his leg was another story. Arthur kept limping badly for weeks, and Gaius didn't let him walk any more than it was necessary.

Arthur was busy. He had to go to the meetings and arrange funerals and sent patrols after the beaten bandits. He was partly glad that he had a lot of things to do and they kept his mind occupied, and partly he was frustrated because he didn't have time to think things through.

He visited Merlin every day briefly. Arthur talked with him shortly but he felt awkward and everything he said or did seemed strained or highlighted.

Merlin noticed it, of course. He asked Arthur if something was wrong or had something happened that he didn't know of, but Arthur bit his lip every time and told him that the hellish patrol had taken its toll on him and everything that happened during it.

Merlin believed him. Clearly he thought that him nearly dying was still bothering Arthur. Merlin even told Arthur that it wasn't his fault that he had almost drowned. Arthur's tensed replies seemed to work with that explanation.

At least for the first few days.

Then Merlin got suspicious, confused and somehow sad. They both knew something was off. Arthur couldn't act fully naturally around Merlin. He felt strained and troubled. He had trouble looking Merlin in the eyes for long periods of time, and he tried to mask their poignant distance between them with hurried excuses and half-hearted half-truths. The rift between them was widening anyhow.

Days passed, and they turned into a week.

More than once, Arthur stared at the ceiling on his own royal bed and thought things through during the nights. It was a dead-end, really.

Another week passed.

Arthur's anger was gone. So was the shock. The hurt and anxiety were left. He had so many questions he wanted to ask from Merlin, and he knew that he couldn't keep this façade up for long. Merlin and him knew each other too well, and when they would get back spending their days together from the morning to the late night, Arthur knew that Merlin would want to know what was bothering him.

The most frightening thing about it all was that the more time passed, the_ less_ the whole thing bothered Arthur.

He was starting to get used to the thought of Merlin having magic. He was starting to forgive Merlin.

Arthur had no idea how he was doing it or how was it even possible.

But very slowly, the fact that Merlin had magic wasn't constantly on his mind. It didn't keep him up every night or weigh him down him like a heavy cloak. The lies Merlin had told him seemed more reasonable now. Arthur started to see all of the past years in a whole new light.  
When days went by, Arthur thought about the whole thing less and less. He was getting back to his routines, he was healing - both inside and out.

Arthur found this unnerving.

He was harbouring a sorcerer.

In his own kingdom.

He was the king and his closest friend was a sorcerer.

Arthur knew that it should have been all kinds of wrong. He was the _kin_g of Camelot.

Yet, he felt sick for even considering the idea of revealing Merlin's secret to anyone. He didn't want to risk Merlin's life. He had almost lost Merlin already, and he had decided that it could never happen again.

So Arthur stayed quiet.

More days passed.

His anger lessened, his hurt dulled.

The knife of betrayal that had sliced his heart and pride, was starting to lose its sharpness.

* * *

It took almost four weeks for Merlin to get fully recovered, or at least enough to work. His wrist was still healing, but otherwise he was fine. Gaius nor Arthur had let him do anything for weeks, which had frustrated Merlin to no end.

When the day came when Merlin finally got back to his work, Arthur's emotions were more or less under control and only his magnified self-awareness was left. He fought the urge to stare at Merlin all the time. It was like he was waiting Merlin to use magic all the time, like he would suddenly turn into a malicious sorcerer.

He didn't, of course.

Merlin noticed Arthur's odd looks and too long pauses. While they both tried to act normally, something was off. They both just let it be for a few hours during the morning, but then Merlin finally snapped.

-What's wrong, Arthur?" he asked, lowering some clothes on the table and looking at Arthur demandingly.

Arthur swallowed. He knew Merlin wouldn't let this go. Of course he wouldn't. -What do you mean?" he said warily, not looking at Merlin directly.

Merlin shook his head, looking worried. He gestured distantly at the empty space between them. -This. There's something that has been bothering you ever since that patrol, and you're acting weirdly. What is it?"

A pause.

Arthur bit his lip. -I told you before...it's...We almost died. Dozens of my men died during the battle." he said, staring at the floor. Arthur didn't even know why he was holding it back. Why was he lying now? Merlin's life wasn't in danger anymore. Merlin was fine, almost fully recovered. He was in a good shape already, enough to go through with this. There wasn't a good reason to postpone this any longer. They could talk. They _should_ talk about this. Arthur should open his mouth and let Merlin know that he knew now.

But somehow, the thought terrified him. He didn't want to say anything. He didn't want to smash everything to pieces.

Merlin sighed. -I understand that upset you, but you can't delve in it, Arthur. It wasn't your fault."

Arthur nodded slowly. He glanced at Merlin, trying to hide his nervousness. He felt torn and there was a small knot in his stomach. Merlin's genuine worry made Arthur feel somehow bad. Like it was him that was keeping things and lying and not the other way around.

There was a short silence. The tension that had settled between them during the four weeks felt suffocating.

-Are you sure that's all?" Merlin asked carefully.

Arthur didn't look at him. His heart was beating quickly, adrenaline running in his veins. He was in two minds, torn into so many directions. This could be the moment of truth. Slowly, Arthur turned to look at Merlin.

Merlin was standing there, with a bandaged wrist, looking at him with blue, worried eyes. He looked just like he always had.

All of a sudden, even the last remains of Arthur's doubts faded away. This was _Merlin_. This was the person he had always known and cared about. This was his loyal servant, his friend.

There and then, in the familiar space of his own chambers, Arthur suddenly found peace.

It spread through his heart like healing, warm water. Acceptance. Of course there would be always things he couldn't forget or fully forgive, and he wasn't alright with the lies and the magic, but he was alright enough to live with this all. He _would_ be alright.

This sensation had been building up somewhere deep inside Arthur through these weeks, through all the silent nights, through his troubled thoughts, lonely moments. Arthur could remember vividly the moment at the river shore, staring at Merlin who wasn't breathing, remembered the pure horror and the crushing grief he had felt, and he knew he would never let that happen again.

Everything seemed to click, right there and then.

Suddenly Arthur felt true joy for the first time in weeks. He let out a small, weak but genuine smile. Merlin looked surprised but relieved to see it. He studied Arthur's face with slight confusion. Arthur let out a breath.

-Actually, there might be something else that's been bothering me." Arthur said slowly.

Merlin tilted his head and listened intently.

There was a moment of hesitation. Then Arthur sighed. -I haven't had my lunch yet." he said dramatically.

Merlin huffed and quirked an eyebrow at him. Even if he looked relieved that Arthur was finally giving an attempt of joking around, he was clearly still bothered of the unspoken, heavy curtain-like distance between them. Merlin hesitated a moment but then moved towards the table, grabbed the silver plate with wine glasses on it and took first steps towards the door.

-Fine." Merlin said. -But I'm not letting this go, Arthur. " he assured. Arthur suddenly knew exactly what he was going to do.

He tilted his head, smiling a little. -Yes, well, I just noticed that my chambers need some cleaning to do." he said a hint of playfulness.

Merlin was already walking towards the door. -I see what I can do." he mumbled, disappointed.

Arthur chuckled quietly. His heart was beating fast and adrenaline thrumming inside his veins. He took a deep breath before he talked, locking his eyes at the back of Merlin's head.

-Why don't you just clean it with your magic?"

The sound of breaking glass filled the room when the silver plate fell out from Merlin's hands and crashed to the floor. Wine spilled to the floor tiles and the glass broke into hundreds of tiny pieces. Merlin was completely frozen now, staring at the fallen plate, his body tensed, hands stuck in mid-air - just like someone had suddenly stopped time.

The silence in the room seemed deafening.

Arthur couldn't help but to grin a little, even if his heart was beating quickly and emotions churned in his chest.

It took several seconds for Merlin to recover. Then he knelt towards the fallen plate. Arthur could see his hands were shaking. Merlin let out a nervous chuckle.

-That was a bad joke, Arthur." he mumbled with a shaky voice, not turning around or even glancing at Arthur's direction. -Now I have to clean this first." he mumbled with an unsteady tone.

Arthur had to bit his lip not to laugh. He had no idea why he was finding this partly hilarious and partly frustrating as hell - why was Merlin still trying to lie? Arthur felt a flash of anger while on the same time he really had to fight back not to laugh. It seemed fitting that it was Merlin causing it - he drove Arthur to the walls from time to time, but he could also make him laugh and smile like no one else could. Arthur took a deep breath and his face fell.

-It wasn't a joke, Merlin." Arthur said in a serious tone.

Merlin's hand froze in to the mid-air once again.

Arthur had to cross his arms over his chest to keep his composure. He was almost shaking, too.

Suddenly Merlin's hands were nervous and very fast, trying to gather all of the pieces of broken glass to the silver plate. -I'm sorry." He stuttered. -I'm so sorry I broke them. I'm just clumsy sometimes, you know? Of course you know that, Arthur, you always remind me about that, it was a stupid question so why did I even said it aloud? It makes no sense. Gaius always tells me I should think more before I open my mouth..."

Arthur couldn't help but to feel empathy for Merlin's nervous mumbling and his shaking hands. Without even realizing it himself, Arthur smiled fondly. Stupid idiot. His loyal, favorite idiot. Merlin really hadn't been playing any games. He really was like this.

-...and I do listen to him, I really do, it's not that. I'm just clumsy, and sometimes I knock things over. It will be hard to get the wine stains off the floor, though, it's red wine and it will get sticky if it dries..."

-_Mer_lin." Arthur called.

Merlin got instantly quiet. He kept fidgeting his fingers, however, almost hysterically trying to clean up the mess. He didn't move or try to get up, and his back was still turned to Arthur.

Arthur sighed and started to walk towards Merlin. Merlin froze, clearly very aware of the approaching king and he suddenly crouched smaller, like trying to be invisible.

Arthur stopped next to Merlin, tilting his head. The silence in the room was heavy and brooding, and the only sound was the small shuffle of the broken pieces of glass. When Merlin showed no signs of stopping the nervous gesture, Arthur sighed and knelt down next to him, careful not to crush any more of the glass.

Merlin's hands finally stopped. He hung his head so Arthur couldn't see his face. Arthur could see that Merlin was badly shaking, skin suddenly pale.

The tension could be cut with a knife.

-Merlin?" Arthur called softly, almost gently. Merlin breathed quickly in, too quickly, and it sounded odd. He stayed frozen. Arthur stared at him. -Merlin, look at me." he said with a quiet but demanding tone.

Slowly but surely, Merlin did what he was told and lifed his head. When his face came into view, his blue eyes were widened and laced with panic, even though he was trying to cover it up. All colour had drained from his face and Arthur started seriously worry that he just might faint. Merlin had a look of hidden fear and shame on his face.

Arthur briefly wondered how on Earth Merlin had managed to lie about this for so many years.

Merlin studied his face hurriedly, clearly unable to read what Arthur was thinking. Then suddenly his eyes started to glisten and he bit his lip hard.

-I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Arthur." he whimpered, and he looked even more paler. His eyes slided frantically to the floor, his hands shaking badly.

-I...I'm...How did you..." he stuttered, voice shaky. He covered his mouth with his healthy hand.

Arthur felt slightly bad for Merlin - he was truly caught off guard and shaken. If there had been any doutbs about Merlin being evil, which Arthur didn't have anymore, they would have been wiped out that instant.

Merlin was breathing very quickly now. Arthur sighed. -Stop that, or you'll make yourself faint." he said.

Merlin squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his hand instantly. He clearly tried to calm himself down. Arthur watched in awe how deeply this affected Merlin. They stayed like this for some seconds.

When Merlin finally managed to open his eyes again, he didn't look at Arthur. He looked sheepishly at the red wine on the floor. He opened his mouth to say something, but his voice broke and he had to swallow first. -H-how...did you..."

-Find out?" Arthur finished. He sighed. -The patrol. The bandits saw you and their leader told me."

Merlin shook his head fiercely, clearly remembering the patrol. -At...at the river?"

Arthur nodded and let out a heavy sigh. -You almost sent them flying all the way to Mercia from what I've heard." Arthur said, voice tense. Merlin looked up with his wide eyes and then dropped his gaze again, shaking violently.

Merlin shoulders sagged even lower. -Not supposed to...I didn't...I'm...You're..." Merlin choked back a sob. -I'm so sorry." he managed to finally stutter out. Then he took a deep breath. It took him some long seconds to gather his voice. -Yes, Arthur, I have magic. I was born with it. But...I've only used it for good and for you, Arthur, only you. You have to believe e. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but..."

-What? Why didn't you?" Arthur cut in, his voice a bit more harsh than he had intended.

Merlin looked miserable. -I was afraid you'd execute me if I did."

Arthur stared at Merlin for a long while, unsurprised of the explanation but still shocked about it. -No, Merlin. I wouldn't have done that. I _won't_ do that."

The silence between them was ominous.

Merlin looked up, tears in his eyes. -Then what are you going to do, Arthur?" he whispered.

Arthur took a deep breath. He locked eyes with Merlin. -Nothing."

Merlin blinked in surprise, and he opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. Arthur huffed.  
-I'm not going to do anything, Merlin. Since you don't seem to be plotting any treason or using magic for evil purposes, I have no reason to do anything about it."

Merlin looked dazed. -But..." He stared at Arthur. -But how..."

Arthur shrugged. -I don't know. I don't even really know why. I just know that I can't send you away or...hate you." he said, his voice getting thick.

Merlin looked at him with dozens of emotions flashing in his eyes. -Arthur..." he whispered.

Arthur just shook his head. -I'm just...glad you're here, Merlin. And alright." He could feel adrenaline thrumming in his veins.

One tear broke free and rolled down Merlin's cheek. -Thank you." he breathed out, and he sounded like he meant it more than anything he had ever said before.  
Arthur just nodded. Everything he had felt or thought during the few past weeks and the patrol flashed inside his mind - and then all of the memories he had about Merlin, all those years they had spent together. He couldn't be sure, but he guessed that Merlin had been the secret guardian angel he had joked about more than once. Arthur felt the urge to thank Merlin for being always there by his side, but couldn't do that yet. That would have to wait. Someday he would thank Merlin, that's what he promised to himself right then and there.

They stayed there for a few more moments, Merlin wiping his eyes and brushing the tear off his cheek, trying to calm himself and his breathing down.

-What now?" Merlin finally uttered quietly.

Arthur raised an eyebrow. -What do you mean?"

Merlin let out a desperate chuckle. -What happens now, Arthur?"

Arthur shrugged a little. While he knew that Merlin meant to ask the question in the larger scale, Arthur didn't have a good answer to that. -I'd truly appreciate if you could get that lunch." he said.

Merlin chuckled nervously and happily, and it turned into a quiet sob.

-So...I'm still...We're still...?"

Arthur let out a faint smile. -Yes, you're still my servant, Merlin." he confirmed. -Though still a lousy one." The look on Merlin's face was filled with overwhelming relief. It took everything from Arthur to say the next words. Despite all the hurt and feelings of betrayal, he forced himself to say them. -And you're still my friend."

Merlin blinked hard, tears filling his eyes once again. His face twisted and he looked like he was going to break down into crying. -T-thank you, Arthur." He tried to continue, but couldn't talk. Instead, he kept looking at Arthur with the most relieved, grateful and happy look on his face, and Arthur felt uncomfortable being looked at like that. The pure joy radiated from Merlin. Arthur could tell how much this meant to Merlin, and he had no regrets of making this decision.

He had no regrets at all.

-But you need to promise me, Merlin - no more lies." Arthur said seriously.

Merlin nodded solemnly. -I promise." he said with a choked voice. His breathing was loud and irregular, filled with emotions.

Arthur eyed him with a sharp look. -And you have a lot of explaining to do."

Merlin nodded. -Anything you want to know." he mumbled with sincerity. Then he finally broke out into a tearful chuckle, and covered his mouth with his hands, staring at Arthur like this was the best day of his life. He looked at Arthur with such admiration and care that it made Arthur smile.

_Stupid, loyal idiot_, Arthur thought fondly.

For a moment, they just looked at each other through new eyes, and it felt right and good. Arthur was glad he had managed to forgive Merlin. He was happy that Merlin was here, right there beside him like he always was. They should be okay. They would be.

Finally Merlin broke their eye contact and looked down at the broken glass. He reached his still shaking hand towards the pieces, but Arthur interrupted him.

-Leave it." Arthur said. -Someone else can do that. You still have to let your wrist heal." Then he got up, still distantly wincing because of his injured leg. -Come on, Merlin, get up."

Merlin was still breathing quickly and it took a moment before he shakily started to get up. Arthur watched him to struggle to stand. When he finally managed to stand up, Merlin turned to look at Arthur. Arthur realized all of a sudden that Merlin was swaying on his feet, and noticed that Merlin was still pale as a sheet. He looked oddly disoriented.

-Merlin, are you alr..."

Before he could finish his sentence, Merlin tried to take a step forward but his knees buckled and he ended up falling towards the ground. With a quick movement, startled Arthur was fortunately faster and managed to grab Merlin before he fell. Arthur cursed under his breath while Merlin collapsed against his chest, hitting his forehead to Arthur's collarbone.

-Merlin?" Arthur hissed, slightly worried. He tightened his grip around Merlin, trying to stop him from sliding to the ground which was still covered in pieces of glass. He shook Merlin a little.

-Hey. Merlin."

After a few seconds, Merlin let out a soft moan that was muffled by Arthur's shirt, and he seemed to find some strength in his legs again and struggled stand. Arthur let out a relieved sigh.

-Come on, you need to sit down for a moment." he told Merlin, and glanced at the chair closest to them. Then he took a firm grip around Merlin and partly carried and partly dragged him towards the chair and then lowered Merlin onto it.

Merlin slumped to the chair, head rolling to the back rest. His eyes flickered a little and Arthur gave his cheek a gentle slap. -Hey, stay awake." he commanded, and felt ridiculous for worrying so much. -Merlin, you girl, don't you faint." he said demandingly.  
Merlin blinked his eyes open and it took a moment before they cleared.

Arthur watched him closely, and reached for a water glass. He more or less shoved it into Merlin's hand. -Drink." he ordered, and didn't say anything before Merlin did as he was told. Then Arthur took the glass and put it to the table with some unnecessary force.

Merlin let out a tired but bright smile. -Sorry." he said.

Arthur rolled his eyes. -I should have guessed this. You swooned like a girl."

Arthur really thought he should have guessed it - Merlin had been breathing way too quickly and he had been pale like a ghost, and stood up too quickly. It wasn't the first time Merlin had fainted - usually Arthur could tell when he saw the warning signs. This time he had been too occupied with his own, still quickly rushing thoughts.  
Merlin huffed and shook his head a little. -Did _not _swoon."

Arthur chuckled and crossed his arms. -Yes you did." He shook his head, the worry lessening. He eyed Merlin with sparkling eyes. -Idiot."

Merlin smiled brightly, and carefully sat up a little. -Prat." he whispered like it was the best compliment in the world.

Arthur rolled his eyes. -I'm still the king, Merlin. You should remember that."

-Sure, Arthur." Merlin said, now his voice already getting close to its usual playfulness and having shades of their usual banter. He flashed a grin.  
He was fortunately regaining some colour to his face.

Arthur couldn't help but to smile. The massive chunk of ice and hurt in his chest startled to melt. All of the wounds of the lies started to heal, just like the cut on his head - like magic was involved. And magic was involved. _Merlin _was involved.

And Arthur was getting used to that thought.

Merlin took a grip from the table to pull himself up but Arthur stopped him. -Just...sit down for a minute. I don't want you hitting your head or rolling off the stairs if you decide to faint once again."

Merlin leant back and laughed a little. Arthur couldn't begin to understand how much he had missed the sound of it. They locked eyes, and their eyes were sparkling. The moment was so familiar, so warm, so safe. Arthur knew that they could work things out. They could make it all work, somehow, because he wouldn't let anything bad happen to Merlin, and he didn't want anything more than to keep him here beside him where he seemed to belong.

Dust danced slowly in the pillars of sunlight that streamed through the windows. The silence in the king's chambers were now peaceful, despite the spilled wine and broken glass on the floor, or the dirty clothes on the table or the slightly pale sorcerer sitting on the king's chair.

They would be alright.

The room would be once again filled with laughter, banter, flying objects and deep conversations. It would take time before Arthur could fully forgive and fully understand. It would take him even more time when he could finally see the true extent of everything Merlin had done for him, and it would take even more longer for him to say those words to Merlin - _thank you_.

But someday, he would.


End file.
